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Yogurt And Lies

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For over 25 years, dairy companies have been advertising yogurt as a "diet food" and their campaign has totally worked. They have somehow convinced everyone that eating sugary, fruity cream can magically melt away the pounds, and yogurt is now a staple for many dieters. We think it is one of the worst fake diet foods on the planet. There are so many foods out there that are healthier, tastier and far more filling than a tiny cup of lactose. If you are a yogurt addict wanting to drop those last five pounds, here are some things to think about next time you're in the dairy section.

#1 Calories

Regular yogurt has about the same amount of calories per ounce as regular ice cream. Seriously. So why is this good diet food? Probably just because they don't let you eat very much of it. If it came in a quart-size container, it'd probably be labeled dessert. The fruit on the bottom and fruit blends make yogurt taste even sweeter, but also add a bunch of sugar and calories. For the 200 calories in a tiny cup of pink cream, you could eat a giant salad or some cheese and crackers or a ginormous bowl of oatmeal in the morning. The low calorie, low carb versions are no better. They are about as nutritious and filling as a Flintstones chewable vitamin chased with a pack of sugar-free bubble gum. Don't waste your time.

#2 Chemicals

If you read the labels on those tiny plastic tubs, you would see that they actually have tons of high fructose corn syrup, fake fruit, weird dyes, tons of sodium and a bunch of other crazy chemicals. We think that if you're gonna eat a bunch of crap like that, you should just indulge in a bag of sour patch kids or something. And this goes especially for the "lite" yogurts. What makes them lite is the addition of aspartame and other horrible chemicals. And if the sugar-free, chemical taste is what you fancy in a diet dairy snack, then enjoy a cold Diet Coke with a piece of string cheese.

#3 Unsatisfying

Has anyone seriously ever gotten full from a measly six ounce serving of yogurt? We don't believe this is possible. It usually ends up being an appetizer before you finally give in and eat real food because you're still so hungry, right? Well, why don't you stop wasting your time, money and calories on yogurt to begin with? Eat a real breakfast and a real lunch and you won't miss the days of scraping desperately at the bottom of that plastic cup, hoping in vain for more.

#4 Laxatives

We are so weirded out by this - Dannon and some other companies are now adding laxatives to their yogurt. Dannon Activia contains Bifidus Regularis: "a natural probiotic culture that can help regulate your digestive system by helping reduce long intestinal transit time." Excuse us; did they say that it speeds up intestinal transit time? Oh, we get it - kind of like that Alli pill or Olean. If your personal transit time is too long, try eating real food with real fiber, like apples and nuts and spinach and berries and oatmeal. But mixing laxatives with yogurt is just gross.

#5 The Real Thing

Okay, not all yogurts are bad. If you don't want to let go of yogurt, try Greek yogurt or another organic, plain yogurt. That means it has to be completely unsweetened with no flavor or have the word "Greek" actually written on the container. These types of yogurt are filled with tons of protein, good fat, and have all those natural live cultures that help us with digestion. If you stick to this stuff, you won't have to increase your intestinal transit time at all.