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Joe The Nerd Ferraro

Joe The Nerd Ferraro

Posted: March 23, 2010 12:38 PM

Hi, My Name Is Joe, and I'm A Recovering Catholic

What's Your Reaction:

Hi.

My name is Joe.

I am a recovering Catholic.

Sometimes I post this online and I get responses along the lines of, "How can you question the one true church like this?"

Luke 17:2

It would be better for such a person to be thrown into the sea with a millstone round the neck than to be the downfall of a single one of these little ones

(from www.catholic.org/bible, since we're talking about Catholicism)

I am in no way advocating dropping pedophiles from the Ben Franklin Bridge with weighted collars (although YouTube videos of this would go viral real fast). But after reading and seeing the scandals involving the Church and its history of covering up this behavior, should there be more people fitted for millstones?

What was once called an American issue has jumped the pond to Ireland and is now exploding in the Pope's Bavarian Archdiocese. But it's not new; this stuff has gone on for decades. There is a complete disconnect from reality here. Papal infallibility, I think not.

What needs to be done?

I don't have a clue how to heal those injured by collar and cassock. The emotional distress of being duped by authority figures who asked for trust -- no, demanded it -- creates fissures in the psyche that psychologists could study for a lifetime. And not just in the victim; the pain ripples through families and can be just as devastating.

In our society, we seem to think that throwing money at a problem is a solution. Those offended can sue, we say, but then we'd see the even uglier dance of the Church defending itself in court. The Church's pretzel logic, intended to somehow excuse those who put themselves on a pedestal from being brought down, does nothing. In fact, it is even more offensive to see the guilty circle the wagons and hunker down into their siege mentality.

Is God already punishing the Church for these indiscretions? How many vocations are being sought these days? When you drive by the sprawling St. Charles Borromeo Seminary on the border of Philadelphia, you realize that this institution houses just a handful of men. (As alterboys, we were given the chef's tour of the place and told that its underground hallways were the longest in the world prior to the building of the Pentagon.)

The Church, if it wants to start following the spirit of the Gospels, needs to apologize publicly and start selling its possessions. What good is this prime real estate on the Main Line doing those who have been wronged? What about the Vatican Museum with its gold chalices and world-class art and artifacts? If they cannot bring themselves to sell the stuff in the family attic, rent it to people for life. But if Christianity is about spirituality, then we don't need the material goods. This is about the credibility.

A larger set of questions begins to assert itself.

Those who stay in the Church will still need ministering by the good priests who remain. Since vocations have dropped through the floor, who will replace the retiring priests? Do we import them? From where? This pedophile issue is global.

As St. Paul wrote to Titus about being an elder:

The reason I left you behind in Crete was for you to organize everything that still had to be done and appoint elders in every town, in the way that I told you, that is, each of them must be a man of irreproachable character, husband of one wife, and his children must be believers and not liable to be charged with disorderly conduct or insubordination. The presiding elder has to be irreproachable since he is God's representative: never arrogant or hot-tempered, nor a heavy drinker or violent, nor avaricious; but hospitable and a lover of goodness; sensible, upright, devout and self-controlled ( Titus 1:5-8).

Hmm. St. Paul is telling the early church to use family men as leaders. Maybe it is time to get back to our roots as Christians. Family men as priests, why not? Most Eastern Rite and Protestant Churches do it. Even St. Peter had a mother-in-law.

And what about Peter's mother-in-law? Don't you think she would make a good priest? Maybe once we get some of these folks who are not based in reality out of positions of power in the Church, we can get some clear-thinking people in to take on the elder role (i.e., bishops and cardinals).

This issue is first about the Church owning up to the damage done. How it handles this will determine whether the Church has the level of credibility it owes the next generations.

The Church can continue to be stubborn and admit nothing. It can live outside the teachings of the Gospels and use the logic of the Pharisees to defend itself while injecting itself into the political discourse wherever it wants. It can use its might to slow down health care reform or push for its pro-life agenda. It will do so as a large political organization and a courted political group.

And I can continue to be a recovering Catholic.

 
Hi. My name is Joe. I am a recovering Catholic. Sometimes I post this online and I get responses along the lines of, "How can you question the one true church like this?" Luke 17:2 It would be be...
Hi. My name is Joe. I am a recovering Catholic. Sometimes I post this online and I get responses along the lines of, "How can you question the one true church like this?" Luke 17:2 It would be be...
 
 
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06:49 AM on 03/27/2010
I am sorry that you felt it necessary to leave the Church, if that is what you are implying by being a recovering Catholic. I have just returned to the Church after a number of years of being a lapsed Catholic. The recent scandals while disconcerting are not an impediment for me. I have long realized that priests and clergy are not perfect souls. Don't forget that Peter denied Christ, and that Paul made a living by persecuting Christians. Corruption has always been a problem: in the early Church, in the Church of the Middle Ages, in the modern Church. In fact, there never has been a time when the Church was free from corruption. The Church continues to grow and attract new generations not because it is perfect but because of the spiritual reality of Jesus Christ who founded it.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
02:59 PM on 03/27/2010
I am glad you have found your path back to the Church. I am not ready for that road.

i get the priest and clergy are not perfect, but they demand deference. That means the fall is greater when tumbling.

This week of all weeks bringing up Peter - the church loves to rip him for the 3 denials. Please put yourself in his shoes for a moment. You have just walked out of Gethsemane where you just offered your life to spare Christ's. They were taking Christ away over your dead body. You drew the sword and took of a centurion's ear.

What does Christ do? He denies your offer and heals the Roman. So please, what is your state of mind here. Peter should have been the first martyr. He laid his life down when it counted (only to pick it up again).

That said, what should happen to this Pope? Why should I get in line behind the Pharisees?

I think the Holy Spirit speaks all the time, we can listen if we try. I would have a hard time going back to the Church the way it is. Why acquiesce to a power structure that is only interested in power.
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MJHammonds
Optimistic Cynic
04:21 PM on 04/03/2010
Thanks for pointing me in the direction of this article. Jeremy caught it this morning in the sidebar.
As another lapsed Catholic, I must say I agree wholeheartedly with your statements about the Church. It became impossible for me to stay with the church when I realized as a young woman that I had no real equal stance in a patriarchal organization, other than as a wife or mother.
That said, I had an excellent high school education in Jesuit school, and my parents have been active parts of the Catholic Church for decades, though they are and always have been "Vatican II" Catholics.
My main argument with the church for years has been the antiquated rules against birth control, which, I am happy to say, my parents did NOT follow. The end result of their decision was that they ultimately raised and are still raising some of seven children. Only three of us are biological children, the rest were adopted.

This scandal has also brought to mind my misgivings about the requirement of celibacy from the priests, which as I understand it, is the only major religion to require this particular restriction.

I don't believe that priests become pedophiles because they are denied a normal sex life, but I do believe that the church attracts pedophiles who by their nature, do not have a normal sex life.
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02:29 AM on 04/05/2010
Well written article (the one way up on top of the page).
03:00 PM on 03/28/2010
May I recommend you read the book If the Church Were Christian by Philip Gulley. Every person proclaiming to be a Christian would benefit from reading this powerful book.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
03:27 PM on 03/28/2010
will try to get to it - tanks.
01:56 PM on 03/26/2010
Hmm. St. Paul is telling the early church to use family men as leaders. Maybe it is time to get back to our roots as Christians.

Yes.
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02:21 AM on 03/25/2010
I'm not a Catholic, but have not believed in my lifetime in any of the religions. I have been exposed to most of them, and studied most. My best childhood friend's mother almost refused to let us play together any more after finding out I had never been baptised. My mother was a Jeebus freek; and on and on.
I am a true agnostic, in that I know that I cannot know. I can't understand how small so many people want to imagine their God as being. They speak of omnipotence and omniscience, but their religious teachings do not reflect the kindness and foregiveness of which they speak.
I can't tolerate anyone or any institution that harms anyone, let alone women and children. I was victimized as a child and a woman, myself. I have always been sickened by hypocrisy, and the wealth of the Catholic Church is a huge example. This priest problem was known to me and my peers as a child! We all knew. No one would ever listen or stop it. Sorry for the rant. Great post, Joe. It is really appreciated.
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01:54 AM on 03/25/2010
. The church was a part of my early life .I have good memories of it. .I left in my teens when i asked whether a Buddhist person would be damned to hell because they weren't baptized, even if they did good deeds, thought pure thoughts, etc. .The answer was "yes".
i thought...that CAN'T be right!. After taking a broader look at history and as I grew into womanhood, I left. I still had affection and respect for those i knew in the church and their work with poverty and human rights. many of the nuns and priests I liked also left.some to get married.
I never heard about sexual abuse. the church veered conservative through bumpy decades.
Today I see a crumbling , decaying tragedy.
the church forgot how to renew itself. life happens only when it is renewed. faith too. I am not trashing anyone's belief or faith. but the edifice of the church as well as the spirit of the church split open with decay, rotted from the inside out.
it shed millions of good people for the sake of rigidity and look who it has protected. In the name of self protection, what a massively huge , botched, disaster.
I recognize there are many good people in the church, but
i am so appalled that so many, many youngsters were molested and so many victimized . it is unconscionable, no wonder they kept telling women parishioners they must keep having babies..more targets.
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PDinCA
Clarity has reared its ugly head again
01:38 AM on 03/25/2010
As another recovering Catholic (and former altar boy), all I can say is, right on. I'm about your age, and my mother told me just recently that one of the priests I was an altar boy for was caught molesting kids. The Church's response was to move him to a different parish.
01:56 PM on 03/26/2010
Sounds like you dodged a bullit, PD
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SilentSolidarity
So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
12:29 AM on 03/25/2010
Protestantism is all about going back to the roots, to restore the early church that was free from special deals (e.g. praying to Mary, the Pope, six more sacraments) signed and approved by R.C.

I for myself believe that the church is the problem of Christianity. Everyone needs to discover the Bible by him or herself.

But I totally agree with you. R.C. could simply apologize and give its material possesions. Protestants have been waiting for that for 500 years. Thanks for sharing!!
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
12:35 AM on 03/25/2010
if i go in any direction it would be toward and Eastern Rite Church.

I get that about Protestantism - they took too much stuff out for my taste.

I don't think any one path is more right than another - it is a comfort zone.
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SilentSolidarity
So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
01:01 AM on 03/25/2010
"I don't think any one path is more right than another - it is a comfort zone."
So true although I haven't found my comfort zone yet.

I think diversity in Christianity is very mportant. 1 Corinthians 12:
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink."

You could define me as a Charismatic, Baptist, Seventh Day Adventist, Eastern Orthodox, Lutheran Unitarian. May sound liek a hypocrite, but you will be surprised how compatible they are. :-)
12:23 AM on 03/25/2010
Good stuff, Joe.

"But if Christianity is about spirituality, then we don't need the material goods. This is about the credibility."

That, to me, is a clear indication that the Christian church has very little understanding of the life of Christ, his own values and the kind of spiritual renaissance he hoped to create.

If the Gospels are any real indication of the teachings of Jesus, somehow the various Christian churches have failed to understand them.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
12:32 AM on 03/25/2010
we taught our kids the bible is structured a little differently.
In order of importance...

1 - The Gospels and the Acts are the core
2 - the Letters are spin and take as a secondary source.
3 - Old Testament as prelude
4 - Eliminate Revelations

we also taught them Christ was a real bad-ass that you wouldn't want to piss off.
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Kristen777
01:27 PM on 03/25/2010
I like what you have to say Joe.
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Joseph Watters
Local actor, Global thinker
09:48 AM on 03/29/2010
Joe,

Overall, a good post. I'm a former Catholic. (I used to call myself recovering like you, but then I realized that I have recovered - I'm no longer Christian). I was an altar boy as well.

Historically, chronologically, the letters and Acts written by Paul came before the gospels were written and well before the particular four that are included were selected as part of the canon. It's really neither here nor there for me personally how you choose to view the bible. But given the historical chronology, and what scholars know about the evolution of the early church, it may be more accurate to say that the Letters and Acts are the core and the Gospels are spin. I don't know what that means for your understanding of the Catholicism you are recovering from.
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iskra
Natural enemy of sharks and tro//s
12:21 AM on 03/25/2010
Good post Joe.

I agree with you that the church needs to own up to it's sins. For millenia the wealth of the institution was a brazen defiance of the ethic they preach. They got away with it by claiming it was for the glory of God, not for themselves.

It's going to be tough to claim the same thing about this situation.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
12:28 AM on 03/25/2010
sell it all.
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12:19 AM on 03/25/2010
Really good post, Joe. I sometimes wonder if these guys rationalize it by thinking "it's not really sex." The story about Murphy said he'd molested 200 little deaf children and felt no remorse. How do you get to a place where you are capable of the acts and the emptiness afterward? Or is it a thing where you can do whatever you want because you know you'll be forgiven? It's a mystery. Too bad it has damaged so many millions of innocent people.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
12:28 AM on 03/25/2010
it is a power trip.
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Kristen777
01:29 PM on 03/25/2010
And they rationalize too that Jesus wants them dressed in Gucci, eating gourmet, being carried around in Mercedes limos. They are lost as souls and their lost-ness is institutionalized.
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trollslayer69
01:44 PM on 03/23/2010
Nice post Joe, There needs to be accountability in the church like anywhere else.

The parishioners are like stock holders and need to demand a clean clergy and justice served to those that violate their oath to god.

I am a non believer but support all different beliefs as long as they are passive and peaceful. The Church has done more to harm itself than any outside entity and admission and moving forward doing the right thing is the only way they will ever recover if its not too later.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
01:54 PM on 03/23/2010
tanks
01:37 PM on 03/23/2010
Good on you, Joe. Every Catholic needs to be looking at the actions of the church these days.

Every religious person needs to ask themselves whether the churches follow the actual words of the religion.

Welcome, Joe. I am also a recovery Catholic.
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Joe The Nerd Ferraro
Group IQ is inversely proportional to group size.
01:53 PM on 03/23/2010
ty