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Joel Schwartzberg

Joel Schwartzberg

Posted March 1, 2009 | 03:48 PM (EST)

Secret List of Scrapped Book Ideas


Around this time last year, a proposed parenting memoir by Britney Spears' mother was "delayed indefinitely" after her 16 year-old daughter Jamie Lynn announced she was pregnant. Of course, Britney Spears' mom putting out a book about successful parenting is kinda like...like...like...well, it's like Britney Spears' mom putting out a book about successful parenting. It speaks for itself. Nonetheless, the book was eventually published last September.

While reports of the Spears book's postponement got plenty of media coverage, other scrapped book ideas went unnoticed. Luckily for you, I managed to acquire that list from my secret publishing source in exchange for a bootleg copy of 2009's scrapped album "Barry Manilow Sings the Gregorian Chants."

Here it is. (Lulu.com, be forewarned):


Help Yourself!: A Guide to Discovering Your True Natural Ability
By Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens, and Andy Pettitte


Bank On It!: How to Make the Most of Federal Bail-Out Funds
By Northern Trust, CitiGroup, Bank of America, Merrill Lynch, and Wall Street


2009-03-01-huffy_jindal.jpgPut Your Best Foot Forward: A Guide to Giving Telegenic Performances
By Bobby Jindal


Free to Be U.N. Me: New York City on Twenty Rial a Day
By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I'm in Mahmoud for Love)


Hiding the Idiot Within
By Paul Abdul


Making the Most of Your Moment: How Not To Squander Fame and Talent
By Amy Winehouse


All White By Me: A Sensitivity Handbook
By Don Imus, with an introduction by the editors of The New York Post


Jews I Like
By Ann Coulter


2009-03-01-huffy_joaquin.jpgMe: The Owner's Guide
By Joaquin Phoenix


Unstoppable: The Hillary Clinton Story
Published by Mainstream Media Press (Unstoppable: The Howard Dean Story)


A Treasury of Bathroom Humor
Edited By Senator Larry Craig


How to Win Friends and Influence People
Re-Edited By Bernard Madoff


Great Careers in the Newspaper Business
By the editors of The Rocky Mountain News


2009-03-01-huffy_nadia.jpgFamily Planning for Dummies
By Nadya Suleman


Choosing the Right Job for You
By Tom Daschle, Bill Richardson, and Judd Gregg


Sharpening Your People Skills
By Christian Bale and Patrick Bateman


"Poppin," and Other Tips on Treating Your Lady Right
By Chris Brown