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Joel Schwartzberg

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Top Ten "Must Knows" for Divorced Dads

Posted: 11/16/10 04:35 PM ET

When I first sought advice regarding my own divorce in 2007, I went to the source of all reasonable and well-informed insight, Google. What I found was a chorus of certain doom: I'd go bankrupt, my kids would see shrinks forever, I'd never find the "woman of my dreams," and I'd spend my days mostly exploring new ways of being pathetic.

With due respect to Google: Wrong, wrong, wrong, and mostly wrong (I'm still a Dad, after all).

Sharing my experiences in my book, "The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad", and talking with other dads, I eventually saw my divorce as an opportunity to reconnect more authentically with my kids. I boiled down this and other inspiring realizations into the following ten "must knows".

The Only Parenting Expectations Worth a Damn Are Your Own
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Divorce freed you from not only your ex-wife's expectations, but those of your parents, her parents, neighbor parents, Dr. Phil, and every celebrity Dad who sits down next to Jay and tells him how perfectly blissful fatherhood is. Now you're the only expert when it comes to your kids. Create your own expectations and standards.
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Joel Schwartzberg is a father of three, an award-winning essayist, and author of the first-of-its kind collection of personal essays from the perspective of a divorced father, "The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad"

 
 
 

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When I first sought advice regarding my own divorce in 2007, I went to the source of all reasonable and well-informed insight, Google. What I found was a chorus of certain doom: I'd go bankrupt, my ki...
When I first sought advice regarding my own divorce in 2007, I went to the source of all reasonable and well-informed insight, Google. What I found was a chorus of certain doom: I'd go bankrupt, my ki...