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Joel Shatzky

Joel Shatzky

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Educating for Democracy: Eliminating the Deficit, A Modest Proposal

Posted: 02/23/11 03:17 PM ET

In view of the political agenda, which is the center of debate in Congress and the state houses around the country, cutting budgets at a time of recession seems to me as logical as the way in which educational "reform" is being run -- improving education by wrecking the teaching profession.

I would like to offer my own modest proposal to not just balance the budget but eliminate the deficit, not in ten years, or even five years, but in two at the most. (NOTE: Although the numbers for savings are imaginary, the politicians who believe that balancing a budget and reducing the deficit during a recession are more important than providing the vast majority of the American citizenry with a chance at a decent life are real.)

  1. Reducing the requirements for teacher certification to a high school diploma (or GED) and hiring anyone at minimum wage (See #5) who can read a scripted lesson and be able to look at a camera in order to increase distance learning. Savings: $500,000,000,000.
  2. Closing all libraries, community centers, public parks, beaches, zoos, museums and other publicly funded cultural and recreational facilities and reopening only those that can charge enough of an admission fee to recoup any operating expenses. Savings: $100,000,000,000.
  3. Eliminating any government subsidies for college education, including Pell Grants, low-interest loans, scholarships and any other financial support. Savings: $250,000,000,000.
  4. Raising the retirement age for social security immediately to 75 and capping the age eligibility for Medicaid and Medicare to 65. Savings: $1,000,000,000,000.
  5. Reducing the minimum wage to $2 an hour which would make us more competitive with China and India and cut costs for municipal, state and federal employees by pegging their recalculated salaries to twice the minimum wage. Savings: $2,000,000,000,000.
  6. Eliminating the EPA, the Consumer Protection Agency, the Center for Disease Control and any other regulatory agency that impedes the God-given right of the entrepreneurs to bring prosperity to this country through their ability to create wealth -- mostly theirs. Savings: $150,000,000,000.
  7. Passing the XXVlll amendment to the Constitution to abolish the Xlll amendment so that slavery can be legalized again. Since it is already in practice in some states in the guise of "prisoner vocational training," it can be easily adopted to wider uses in the "Worker Rehabilitation Camps" that will be built around the country to deal with "disruptive social elements" such as union organizers, the unemployed, the sick, and the aged. Savings: $1,000,000,000,000.
  8. Eliminating government support for any publicly financed media such as National Public radio, and such cultural and health organizations as the National Endowment to the Humanities, the National Endowment to the Arts and Planned Parenthood. Savings: $500,000,000.
  9. Using the newly legalized slave labor force to build the WRC's that will provide the overwhelming majority of Americans with shelters, limited recreational facilities and isolation from the 10 percent of the population that will truly thrive even more than they have now when the budget is finally balanced. Savings: $500,000,000,000.

Total savings: $5,550,000,000,000. In two years the deficit would vanish! With a balanced budget the United States will return to fiscal solvency in a "New America" for those who make more money than they could ever need from those who never had enough money to afford what they needed. So we will go down in history as Athens, Rome, Spain and the British Empire have done before us.

My only alternative suggestion is to establish a massive WPA for the unemployed building and restoring our crumbling infrastructure, return the tax structure to what it was in the 1960s, lift the income cap on social security taxes and let income redistribution finally go in the right direction -- downward, not upward.

 
 
 
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anfractuous
Now I educates'm my way.
03:47 PM on 02/26/2011
Satirist or soothsayer?
10:53 AM on 02/24/2011
Or we could bring back all of our soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan, at a savings of nearly $1M per year for soldiers in Iraq, and $1.2M per year for soldiers in Afghanistan. It would help reduce carbon emissions, too. The largest part of the cost of keeping a soldier in Afghanistan is fuel for transportation.

What would we do with all of those unemployed soldiers? Well, why don't we take the first $100,000 of the savings and pay them to do something -- infrastructure improvements, for example. Heck, they could all be repairing schools. Taxpayers, would be willing to settle for an average return to the treasury of $1M per year per soldier, don't you think?

Most soldiers would embrace this program as well, and it might cut down on the suicide rate. For the couple of loonies who would rather stay, I say let them. Just don't protect them from the local justice system.

Another enormous cost savings - all of the defense contractors.
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Alan Singer
08:03 PM on 02/23/2011
Jonathan Swift (1729) suggested that the solution to both hunger and overpopulation in Ireland in the 18th century was to have the Irish eat their children. He also titled his piece "A Modest Proposal," which I am sure Joel is aware of. At the time the idea was dismissed, not because it was a bad idea, but because it was considered un--Christian. Since then reigious ideas have evolved. Perhaps the Republican Party wants to revitalize the idea in some form. Maybe after budget cuts decimate social service programs without providing jobs we can all eat our children.
10:56 AM on 02/24/2011
F&F. I had forgotten about Swift's proposal. Hilarious.
11:02 AM on 02/24/2011
The more I think about your proposal the more I like it. We could serve up non-performing students in the school lunchroom, tackling two problems at once: reducing the costs of providing protein in the school lunch, and improving test scores.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
06:05 PM on 02/26/2011
Better yet, serve up non-performing politicians!
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freducate
Spirit Naturally Evolving
06:14 PM on 02/23/2011
I'm not too swift when it comes to all this math. Wouldn't it just be more practical and efficient to do something with the poor kids? Face it, if there were less poor kids, there would be more money to go around. Somebody should be able to cook up something to figure this one out.
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Andy Clark
unappreciated servant to society (teacher)
08:26 PM on 02/23/2011
thank you. Fix the wrongs and injustices in society, and the rest comes along with it.
10:57 AM on 02/24/2011
It's called socialist democracy. Lots of countries have figured it out. They have the happiest citizens in the world. Of course we don't want any of that happiness crap here. I want to know I'm happy and my neighbor isn't.
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Andy Clark
unappreciated servant to society (teacher)
04:35 PM on 02/23/2011
satire at its finest.
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freducate
Spirit Naturally Evolving
07:25 PM on 02/23/2011
Huh? You're not trying to get my Irish up, are you?
04:24 PM on 02/23/2011
I like it!! You only left out re-education camps for those of us that do not see the logic in these sane proposals ;)
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Joel Shatzky
12:22 AM on 02/25/2011
On the other hand, it seems that some of the other Republican govs. are having second thoughts about trashing unions. Hope yet!