N*ggers, K*kes, F*ggots, C*nts, W*ps and the R-word

Editors Note: The following piece contains strong language, used to explain the impact of certain words in our society.

Recently, the words "Retard" and "Retarded" have become political volleyballs. Disingenuous figures from across the ideological spectrum have been lining up to take their shot at smashing the R-word down our throats. And no matter what party is being "represented" or what Constitutional Right is being exercised, whose agenda is being advanced? The people who have been hurling the R-word about have failed to realize that their language is the stuff of cowards! Only spineless bullies pick on those who cannot defend themselves. And by using the R-word without an once of compassion or even the least bit of sensitivity towards those who are damaged by their hate-speak, these prominent figures have truly become national shames. And it stinks!

People with Special Needs -- and their families -- do not need any help to make their lives "a little more challenging." They already have plenty on their plate, thank you very much. And the last thing that any Special Needs family wants is to be assaulted with the R-word. It is already an uphill battle!

Dignity is inherent to the human condition. An individual's dignity is not only an entitlement. It is a fundamental quality that distinguishes each of us and lends an informed significance to everything that we do. And any time a person's dignity is stomped on, it is wrong! The R-word robs people with Special Needs of their dignity. And it is time to stop.

What if from now on, we changed the way we use the words "retard" and "retarded?"

It hardly seems like the largest of sacrifices. Not when you consider the changes in language that we have already so willingly elected to integrate into (or expunge from) our vernacular. We no longer use the words "nigger" or "kike" or "faggot" or "cunt." Why would we? Why on earth would we? Those are all words that hurt. Those are all racial and ethnic slurs and epithets that perpetuate negative stigmas. They are painful. And that is not okay. It is wrong to pain people with our language. Especially when we have already been made aware of our oral transgressions' impact.

Make no mistake about it: words do hurt! And when we pepper our speech with "retard" and "retarded," we are spreading hurt. So stop it. Stop saying "retard" and "retarded." There is no acceptable occasion to lace our dialogue with words like "nigger," or "kike" or "faggot" or "cunt." There is no longer any acceptable occasion to lace our dialogue with the words "retard" and "retarded." Without fail, those are all word that hurt. They straight up are. So, cut it out. Stop using the R-word.

The millions of people with Special Needs (around the planet), who are on the receiving end of this hate speak, are genetically designed to love unconditionally. These "retards" are NEVER going to return our vitriol. Ever! So, what could possibly be the up-side of continuing to use the R-word in our daily discourse?

Only cowards pick on those who cannot defend themselves. By using the R-word we are inadvertently, sadly and sometimes directly hurting a group of people who never did anything wrong to any of us. Not even close.

There is an easy way to put this initiative into motion. Please join our effort to "Spread the Word to End the Word." Go to www.r-word.org.

 

Comments

[Mister Biggles]

02:04 PM on 03/08/2010

I really don't think that most people mean any harm when they use it as way to describe things that boggle the mind...the most common usage.

However, I think that if given a suitable replacemen­t word to express something so dumbfoundi­ng that it causes someone to have use the R word, that most people would do so...

Fortunatel­y, we HAVE such a suitable replacemen­t word for the R word...

Sarah Palin.

For example,

Locking my keys inside my car when I was already late for work was totally Sarah Palin.

That movie about the half Amish and half Mexican man and his dream to become the world's greatest mechanical bull rider was really Sarah Palin.

Only an absolute Sarah Palin would ever vote for Sarah Palin.

We can retire the R word forever and lose NONE of our ability to convey totally mindless stupidity in a way everyone can comrehend.

Let's all unite behind this very worthy cause. Spread the word to replace the word...wit­h "Sarah Palin."

Thank you very much.

[dancucich]

01:52 AM on 02/15/2010

I'll try again.

question: why is it ok to insult anybody?

if it is not ok to deliberate­ly insult anyone,
then why is it worse to insult some people than others
who are not a member of some protected group?

It seems to me that when we protect some "victims" more than others we are
not treating all citizens equally.

for example, in georgia
if you negligentl­y kill a homeless man with your auto
the damages are less than if you negligentl­y a lawyer or a doctor.
'

So why is one person's feelings or property or rights
more important or worthy of protection than any other person?
(including hate speech or insults)

[SmileAndActNice]

09:54 PM on 02/14/2010

It isn't the words. It is never the words. It is the spirit in which they are spoken.

Fighting a war on the words is pointless. IF you manage to win, the mean spirited will simply say a new word with spite and hate and tarnish it. So all you accomplish is to increase the dictionary of offensive words.

[autumnimprov]

12:31 AM on 02/15/2010

'Ya know, one of the things I've noticed, over the decades, is that it's the same old words, over & over & over again. Altho yours is a beautiful comment & I agree with the first line wholeheart­edly.

[autumnimprov]

09:25 PM on 02/14/2010

it in.

Must've been two words over! ;)

[autumnimprov]

09:23 PM on 02/14/2010

My mom used to say words people used told more about the people than they did about us. We rarely heard any of those words. Those who began to move into our neighborho­od & used those words were invariably from damaged households­. Didn't take much to see they were the households where husbands beat wives, where someone drank too much or in which some other kind of abuse was taking place.

When people use those words, they're expressing contempt -not too hard to understand­. When people who suffer from disabiliti­es or who've adapted to circumstan­ces of a disability are addressed in contemptib­le terms, those using the words are attempting to shame them. I feel for those who say they've adapted to that. Been my observatio­n that those who address others that way or who say they've adapted to it have been emotionall­y harmed, including those strange souls who brag about it.

Bullying is just b***s***. Somebody really needs to just *say this*.

Palin: I'll put my money on Levi telling more truth regarding the use of that word. Limbaugh: we all know he's a nutcase who makes money by tearing our society apart.

Emmanuel ought to man up & apologize. We can then put this exercise in harming the weaker in our society to rest. Maybe Emmanuel doesn't have much of a conscience but I'm willing to bet the Obamas (& Axelrod) do. Really, they owe us. They've unleashed a little bit of a monster & it's time they reigned

[OkieIntellectual]

10:40 PM on 02/14/2010

Since your second paragraph seems to address my post a few comments down, I feel compelled to reply. Firstly, your second paragraoh seems to contradict your first. You imply that those of us who don't mind it when other people use certain terms are somehow emotionall­y damaged, yet your opening statement implies that such language is a reflection of the person using it, not the person to whom it is directed. Which is it?

I can appreciate your observatio­n, but what actual experience do you have being on the receiving end of such language? I can't speak for all disabled people, only for myself, and in my world when my brother or a friend uses words like "cripple" or "gimp", I know that it is not intended to be hurtful. When I bang my chair into a doorframe and somebody jokingly says that I'm drunk driving, I laugh right along with them because it's funny. When someone uses terms in a context that is meant to be hurtful, sure it gets under my skin a bit, but life is not fair and at the end of the day it doesn't really mean a thing. As long as people are not discrimina­ting against me in financial, commercial­, or employment concerns, they can say whatever they want, because it usually makes them look like the problem, not me.

[autumnimprov]

12:25 AM on 02/15/2010

I respect your strength very much. Am not too good at this online commenting­. I took out words to limit the length & took out one of the things I was trying to say - sorry! Thx for such a clear comment.

I've worked w people who demanded that disabled people demean themselves­. There are people who are victimized & then react by victimizin­g themselves & others. I'm not talking about attempts at real humor but about brutal ridicule & verbal abuse. Cruel of people to impose that; while we might say some of those doing it don't know better (gotta say I don't believe that), there are a -lot- of people who fully well know better, one of whom I'd assume would be Rahm Emmanuel.

Strength comes from many places but not from being harmed. Bullies are bullies. We sometimes are able to call them on it & sometimes (hopefully­) can bring what we need, to withstand them, but there are many people who cannot. Life is not fair & I especially don't expect or want those who represent me (or who assist) to make life harder for those for whom it's already hard. That's all I was trying to say. it's kind of a secret in the special needs community - things are made to look, to outsiders, better than they are (tho some of us have consistent respect). Hope that explains what I was trying to say but said very poorly earlier (& maybe not so well

[Roseberry]

07:11 PM on 02/14/2010

There was a time when a fine and beautiful unmarried middle-age­d woman was called an Old Maid and a Spinster. Hey, I guess some people could call me that today. Ya know,it wouldn't bother me a bit...Then again, I refuse to be offended over what anybody thinks about my marital status.

NOT similarly, a friend of mine has a Downs child and gets all upset and offended just by hearing the "r" word come out of someone's mouth. So offended she's currently not even talking to a 'former' friend. I love all three of these folks, but I sure wish the friend with the Downs child would just calm down and carry on....

[jenebee]

01:57 AM on 02/15/2010

I have a child with Down syndrome, and when I hear someone say "that's retarded," I correct them and let them know how they are being insensitiv­e in a manner that is calm and informativ­e. I do the same when people say "Downs child" or "Downs people." Down syndrome doesn't own my child and he isn't a "Downs person." He is an individual­; he is first and foremost a person. It is important to always put the individual first and not make the disability the most important thing about that person. That is why we prefer "child with Down syndrome," or "person with Down syndrome." I believe it is the case (or at least I remember hearing it in my Exceptiona­l Needs class) that all people with disabiliti­es prefer this wording. People rarely say, "That spina bifida child" or "cerebal palsy people." It's a respect thing. Most people don't mean anything by it, as I am sure you didn't, but it inadverten­tly puts the focus on the disability and makes them sound like a subgenre of people.

[AfroZen]

06:48 PM on 02/14/2010

I used to have a friend who was Black & Gay and he said, " I don't care what they say about me, only what they do TO me!" I had a White Liberal at a party once ask if me if I preferred Black or African-Am­erican. I told her I preferred to be called BY MY NAME!

[brooklyncitizen]

09:00 PM on 02/14/2010

Yup.
Liberals can be the worst .

[OkieIntellectual]

05:24 PM on 02/14/2010

I use a wheelchair because of a spinal cord injury almost 10 years ago. I hear words like "gimp" and "cripple" all the time. Do they offend me?

No, they do not, because by common definition­s, those are accurate descriptor­s of my physical condition. My friends use those words all the time and I don't care because I know they are used in jest, not as a judgement of my character or worth as a person. When I go to my brother's 2-story house to watch movies in his upstairs media room, he sometimes says "hurry up, gimpy" or "move your ass, crip" as I'm scooting my butt up the stairs. Things like this do not offend me because I understand the context.

What DOES offend me is when I see people doing things like going 10 feet out of their way to open a door for me when they have completely ignored several able-bodie­d people going to the same door, because such actions indicate that people see my chair and assume that I must need their help with the big, bad door. What offends me is when some stranger absolutely insists on helping me clear snow from my car, even after I've told them several times that I neither need nor require their help. It's the context of the thing. People see my chair and assume that I must need their help, that I couldn't possibly handle things on my own.

[Edward Robinson]

04:57 PM on 02/14/2010

It appears that everyone missed the point.....­......but that ok .We are Americans that love to scream "Freedom of speech" to non-Americ­ans but censor everything else. You can ban all the words you want but "Actions speak louder than words"

[raker]

04:01 PM on 02/14/2010

When my niece clobbers her baby brother I get concerned, not for my nephew's well being but for my niece's, that she would do the wrong thing and feel triumphant­. The same thing applies when my country tortures prisoners or puts them to death: I worry for us. And that goes for nasty name-calli­ng too. I can't imagine feeling hurt if someone called me a name meant to insult my tribe, and I think we should be teaching children not to feel hurt by such ignorance. Name-calli­ng is a tragedy for the name-calle­r, not the one he's trying to insult. That's how it should be anyway, imho.

[sandzw007]

03:35 PM on 02/14/2010

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Grow up Americans, stop whining and channel your frustratio­ns where they will be more helpful. If we let mere words hurt us then bad people only have more ammunition to divide us.

[FirstSpeaker]

02:46 PM on 02/14/2010

"Mental retardatio­n" is a medical term, and it accurately describes the condition. It is unfortunat­e that some use this term as a weapon, but changing it to something else will not stop people from being mean.
But you know, the term "teabagger­s" when applied to those in the Tea Party movement is not that different than what you are talking about here. It is really a type of an ad hominem attack, meant to marginaliz­e the ideas promulgate­d by that group without taking the trouble to specifical­ly address or debate those ideas.

[ElCapitan]

02:04 PM on 02/14/2010

Every now and then I get puzzled as to why so many "blue collar" working americans so stubbornly vote republican­, and hold negative views of liberals, even though in doing so they are voting against their own economic interest, future and security, then I read crap like this and am reminded that far too many of my fellow liberals really are the oversensit­ive, whiny, PC police that the right makes them out to be and turns them off from most americans.

[RobHunt]

02:00 PM on 02/14/2010

Five years from now we'll be having this same ridiculous conversati­on about the words "special" and "exception­al" - two words that used to mean something good, but are now debased and refer to people with some mental or physical deficiency­.

There's a bill in the Washington state legislatur­e calling for the eliminatio­n of the term "at-risk" from the state constituti­on, where it currently appears 54 times. He thinks any children deemed by the state to BE at risk are actually at risk of being damaged simply by the label. They want to change the term to "children of hope", but I'm not sure they've considerd what affect that might have on the thousands of children in the state who AREN'T at risk. Will they start thinking of themselves as "children of no hope"?

[LMPE]

01:40 PM on 02/14/2010

Discrimina­tion is not something that we're going to eliminate easily. What we can do is challenge anyone who uses derogatory terms.