I've been single for awhile and though I seem to lack the dating gene, I don't like myself that much where I'm willing to spend the rest of my life in my own company, especially with a limited wardrobe. So I keep trying experimental stuff like smiling and saying hello...

To you this may just be a hearty, jaw-strengthening meal, but to Todd and me it had all the makings of our great romance, with dessert showing up not quite nine months later.

We met at Alaska Secession War Dance Bingo and Todd asked me out. When he took...

I didn't wake up to birds chirping, or to the soft sunlight drifting through my blinds. I woke up to my eyelids being stretched over my headboard. And to "I-t's m-o-r-n-i-n-g!!!" being spit through my eardrums with enough force to send my wife flying off the bed, if she wasn't...

I just took myself off Facebook. I got tired of getting messages from people I hadn't heard from in twenty years, who still haven't figured that I didn't want to hear from them until I read their names in the obituary. And just when I thought I ran out of...

It started out like every other morning: I spent most of it sleeping. Then it all changed. I woke up and for the first time I noticed how messy my room was; clothes, mostly t-shirts and jeans, lying every where. Not one suit, tie or even a white shirt. As...

I have a solution to the steroid issue with A-Rod and major league baseball. I think the commissioner, Budd Selig, should make steroids mandatory. Put them all go on the juice. Test the players for steroids and if they're not found in their urine or blood or their heads haven't...

Rolling Stone called Gilbert Gottfried the Miles Davis of stand-up comedy. Jazz like, Gilbert's absurd jokes fly off a thread of simple logic that he twists so much it makes you laugh hysterically at things only his warped perception can make obvious. Just as your catching your equilibrium he's into...

Was it a mistake or wrong for Obama to choose anti gay Evangelist Rick Warren to deliver his invocation? Let's just say, on the surface, it make as much sense as an enemy combatant asking Dick Cheney for a bubble bath. In a few recent sound bites Rick Warren has,...

The other day I went to the funeral of a friend who had died of a heart attack from working three jobs in order to pay for health insurance. For no legitimate reason I could think of -- (other than I was eating a vegetarian meal) -- I was cornered...

The following are excerpts from Sarah Palin's upcoming book -- edited by me:

FIRST MEETING WITH SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN

I met Senator John McCain (who on first site I deeply loved) today. For an old man he's got wandering hands, let me tell ya. He sure liked my butt. He...