Let me be up front, I want Farmers Field. I want it where they want it and how they want it. I want season tickets, too.
Putting aside for the moment the dim LA stereotypes about suburban sprawl and urban alienation, the closest I ever get to feeling the civic pride that is an epidemic in my hometown of Chicago is when Staples Center is my destination.
Whether it's for the Kings, the Lakers, Michelle Kwan, Madonna, or Al Gore, Staples Center and LA Live have become downtown's new Broadway. If the Oscars follow American Idol's lead and pull up stakes, as reported, and abandon the Kodak for the Nokia, it'll be Hollywood Boulevard, too.
That's AEG's doing, mostly. That's its business. Not mine. And, not the Mayor's or the City Council's. Certainly not the Board of Supervisors! Tim Leiweke and his Denver pals have earned their stripes. Butt pats all-around.
But before we give away the Farmers Field, there need to be a few conditions.
First off, just who are we expected to be rooting for, anyway? This whole conversation is moot if we don't get the right team, which means OUR team.
The Chargers? Are you kidding me? The bolts are dolts.
The Jaguars? This is L.A. not Beverly Hills, and JAX is no LAX.
And, those pussies from up North in goth makeup can't even raid their own refrigerator. Besides, they already beat their retreat.
L.A. doesn't request expansion, it requires it. This isn't about the NFL getting to finally sink its teeth into the nation's second-largest media market. We've prospered without Sunday mayhem for far too long to start acting like a one-night stand now. Heck, the Trojans are even off suspension and set to return balance to the BCS.
No, this is about L.A. doing what L.A. does better than any other one-horse, two-horse, or five borough town, which means in this case, it's the NFL that's getting transformed!
In fact, that's my personal pitch for our team's mascot -- The Los Angeles Transformers. I can see the headlines now: "Super Bowl L: Horseshoes Run Out of Luck in the Grip of Optimus Prime!"
Councilmembers Bill Rosendahl and Paul Koretz are the only two city officials who seem to get any of this. While the mayor and the rest of the council are still bouncing around the rotunda from their rubber stamping, they're the only two willing to ask the important questions in their search for a business plan that works for the tax payer, not a corporation that's only one vowel removed from AIG.
"I'm not looking to buy the Brooklyn Bridge," Councilmember Rosendahl explains.
No, but before this really becomes a fait accompli, wouldn't it be nice to at least consider the view that they have in Green Bay?
Follow John Fitzgerald Keitel on Twitter: www.twitter.com/thinkfreetv