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RuPaul's Drag U: Lady Bunny

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I have fond (if not a bit cloudy) memories of Lady Bunny at various NYC club parties during my days as a nightclub cigarette "girl" (Cigars! Candy! Cigarettes!). At the end of each summer, my friends and I would don our wildest looks and head down to Tompkins Square Park for Wigstock, the legendary festival she co-founded. Good times! Bunny has stood the test of drag-time and continues to entertain the masses with her unique, over-the-top brand of humor. She is back for another season of Drag U, this time with her own "Lady Lesson" segment. All hail the Bunny!

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JG: Your Drag U duties have been expanded this season. You're not just a pretty judge behind a panel, but a "Lady Lesson" instructor. How seriously are you taking this added responsibility and more importantly, did you get a raise?

LB: I did get a raise, which is a joy in a recession. Of course, a lot of it went to my wigs. Doing drag has a really high overhead -- pun intended. And I'm meant to be comic relief so I don't take my lessons too seriously. I mean, what could I possibly know about grooming women's pubic hair? However, one lesson involved some very useful info on how to choose the correct bra size. I always gag to see women who look like they have two pairs of breasts because their bra is too small. Ladies, drag queens would love to have boobs -- you have them and you mangle them? I don't get it.

JG: You have enjoyed quite a career in drag. If you had to choose a different career tomorrow, what would it be?

LB: Child star -- at my age it would be a laugh riot!

JG: Drag U often prepares women to get back to dating or rekindle romance in their lives. What is an ideal date for Bunny?

LB: A horse-hung, Hispanic drug dealer!

JG: What kind of woman inspires you?

LB: I've actually been inspired by some of the contestants on RuPaul's Drag U. Gay men can't fathom the sacrifices many women make for their families. These women go through a lot and often give up their lives for others. I certainly benefited greatly from my mom's nurturing spirit.

JG: What are three things no woman should leave home without?

LB: Mascara, lip gloss and if you get the first two right -- you'll need condoms!

JG: Name three famous women you'd love to enroll in Drag U.

LB: Michele Bachmann! I do give her credit for working false eyelashes more since her campaign began. It seems like she spends more time on her make-up than she does on facts -- not that facts ever matter for a Tea Party candidate. But I think I could create a campaign wardrobe that would really pinpoint her message -- I'm thinking lots of straitjackets. I'm surprised that her gay, ex-gay, or shall we just say "flamboyant," husband hasn't already suggested it to her.

Justin Bieber. Don't get me wrong -- she's adorable as the tomboy she is. But as she inches towards puberty, she could totally rock more adult, feminine dresses.

MSNBC's Rachel Maddow. I love her to death and at the end of the day her brilliant mind and goofy charm would shine forth through any look. But she could be lovely with the right styling. I don't think she would enjoy this process much, but I sure would.

JG: During judging in the "Like a Virgin" episode, you said you don't think Bette Midler is sexy. I've been worried for your safety since. Have you received any death threats from the gay community?

LB: I don't actually care! I'm hardly going to take death threats from the corny showtune set which idolizes Bette too seriously. And Bette has many talents, but sexy just ain't one of them. I wasn't even aware that Miss M was trying to be sexy -- is she? She's 66 years old so I can't believe that sex is her main focus anyway. It's a chauvinistic world when even aging comedians have to be sexy or else. It's funny that you mention her as Bette has recently set the gay blogosphere on fire by claiming that she originated the mermaid in a wheelchair routine that younger gay icon Lady Gaga has recently "borrowed." And gays can't get married but they sure will concern themselves with who stole what from whom in a heartbeat! Whoops! Did I just manage to read straights and gays while trying to read Bette?

JG: One of your Lady Lessons was in "ladyscaping." Each pupil had to come up with their own signature "ladyscape" shape. What's yours?

LB: Mine's called the George Bush. It's very, very dense and hides a real prick.

JG: While we're on the subject of hair... Are you a real blond?

LB: Nothing real over here -- that's a dirty word to the drag queen.

JG: Another lesson often taught at Drag U is that "beauty is pain." Do you suffer from headaches or neck problems, having to support all that gorgeous hair on your head?

LB: Occasionally I do. But let's just say that I regularly "bone up" on special "neckcersices" which strengthen my "head" and neck. I do think that real women would be shocked at some of the things that drag queens go through. I glue heavy earrings on with Crazy Glue and I've even heard of a queen using it as lash adhesive in a pinch. We're crazy!

JG: Where does your delicious sense of humor come from?

LB: Partially from my mom who can be quite silly. And RuPaul and I are old roommates from Atlanta, Georgia in the 1980s. That whole crazy Atlanta crew definitely wore off on me. I also love the royal rottenness that is Lisa Lampanelli! But I can't blame any one person on my sick sense of humor. Here's a NSFW parody video of mine which recently made the rounds on Perez Hilton, Dlisted.com, etc. Watch it if you dare!

Watch RuPaul's Drag U Monday nights on Logo 9/8C on Logo.