I've been asked that a lot lately.
Since Tiger Woods' auto accident early on the morning of November 27th, his closely guarded private life has quickly unraveled as names of women involved with the married professional golfer have been leaked to the media at a rate even faster than the departure of many of his lucrative sponsorship contracts.
It puzzles many because Mr. Woods appears to be "the guy who has it all." He has a former model for a wife, two adorable children, great wealth, and a career in golf that has always shown the promise of unprecedented accomplishments.
At the time that Tiger married Elin Nordegren in 2004, he was reportedly asked why he chose to marry this Swedish beauty. His reply was, simply, "Because I can."
Obviously his answer was not indicative of a deep attachment to his new bride so much as the whim of a young and powerful man with great wealth.
Attraction, passion, respect, and trust are the four cornerstones of commitment. These traits are tested through time. They ebb and flow as we grow and mature. But if they stay in place during the stormy times, the marriage will last.
Ultimately, what keeps passion alive--in any relationship--are qualities that go well beyond beauty. For the attraction to last, there has to be a passion that goes beyond the strong physical connection as well. Having a partner of great physical beauty is like moving into a home with a fabulous view. At first the view is all that you see. After a year or less you notice the view less, and you focus more on the things that "need to be fixed."
Power is a potent aphrodisiac. It attracts all sorts of temptations. Obviously, if you are secure in yourself and your relationship, if you and your partner are passionate, you'll notice other attractive people--but you won't pursue those opportunities. Why should you? You are already in a happy, healthy relationship. There is so much too lose, and absolutely nothing lasting to gain.
Paul Newman put it best: "Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?"
What problems exist in this marriage is a matter for idle speculation, but I strongly suspect that this was not a satisfying sexual relationship for either partner. If he saw the conquest of other women as a form of validation, he was shortchanging his marriage. If Elin, his wife, did not question her own needs, let alone recognize his, in time this disconnect would have driven them apart.
Well, that time has now come.
It will be an expensive lesson for Mr. Woods, both financially and emotionally. Still, I'm guessing his bank account will bounce back before his ability to commit his heart again.
The bottom line: money and beauty cannot save a relationship that suffers from too little love.
Watch John Gray Talk About Why Tiger Cheated:
Video originally published on YourTango.com
John Gray, Ph.D is the author of 16 relationship advice books, including Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, one of the best-selling books of the last decade. You can reach him through his online magazine: www.marsvenusliving.com