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If You're John McCain, You Might Be A Rich Guy

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With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (no, wait, he should be apologizing to all of us for that lame redneck schtick):

If you can't count how many homes you have, you might be a rich guy.

If you think it takes $5 million a year to be rich, you might be a rich guy.

If you think some people "are poor if they're billionaires," you might be a rich guy.

If you have a fireplace next to the outdoor spa in one of your mansions, you might be a rich guy.

If your plan to cut taxes on the wealthy would save your family $373,429 a year, you might be a rich guy.

If you dumped your first wife to have an affair with a wealthy heiress, you might be(come) a rich guy.

If you fly around with a lobbyist on corporate jets while doing favors for her client, you might be a rich guy.

If you wear $520 loafers, you might be a rich guy.

If your annual expenses for servants are five times the median income per person in America, you might be a rich guy.

If you refer to your 6-acre Sedona lakeside estate, worth more than one million dollars and complete with a large home, a guest house, and the house next door, as a "cabin," you might be a rich guy.

If you think that no American would pick lettuce for $50 an hour, you might be a rich guy.

If you fly around on your wife's corporate jet for free, you might be a rich guy.

If you think that big corporations need $200 billion in tax giveaways, you might be a rich guy.

If you think inheritance taxes on multi-millionaires need to be cut by 67%, you might be a rich guy.

If you think being given a vice president's job at your father-in-law's beer company is an accomplishment, you might be a rich guy.

If you and your wife are worth well over $100 million, you might be a rich guy.

If you think selling junk on eBay is how Americans can avoid poverty, you might be a rich guy.

If you think it's normal to take a free trip to Charles Keating's opulent Bahamas retreat and get $112,000 in campaign donations in exchange for meeting with federal regulators on Keating's behalf, you might be a rich guy.

Crossposted at DailyKos and ObamaPolitics.