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John Kinnear
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John Kinnear is the author of the popular parenting blog, Ask Your Dad. He spends most of his time chasing his toddlers around the house and pleading with them to put pants on. Along with his blog, you can also find him trying to be funny on Facebook and Twitter.

Entries by John Kinnear

An den Vater, der sein Kind im Supermarkt anschreit

(3) Comments | Posted September 3, 2015 | 7:12 AM

Ich sehe dich.

Ich sehe ich dich auf einer Parkbank sitzen, mit deinem iPhone in der Hand. Dein Kind versucht, deine Aufmerksamkeit zu bekommen und braucht drei oder vier Versuche, bis du mitbekommst, dass jemand "Papa" vom anderen Ende des Spielplatzes ruft und dass du damit gemeint bist. Du...

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親愛なる、ひどい親のみなさんへ。私は見ています。

(1) Comments | Posted August 18, 2015 | 7:00 AM

あなたがiPhoneを片手に公園のベンチに座っているのを見ています。

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Cher parent indigne

(13) Comments | Posted August 11, 2015 | 11:58 AM

Je te vois

Je te vois assis sur ton banc, au parc, à consulter ton iPhone. Ton gamin essaie d'attirer ton attention et il faut qu'il t'appelle trois ou quatre fois pour que tu te rendes compte que c'est à toi qu'on s'adresse. Tu quittes ton écran des yeux pendant...

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Dear Crappy Parent

(77) Comments | Posted August 6, 2015 | 7:52 AM

I see you.

I see you sitting on a park bench with your iPhone out. Your kid is calling for your attention and it takes three or four times before you recognize that the "Dad" being shouted from the playground is the "Dad" that means you. You look up...

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The Most Important Thing I Want My Wife to Know This Mother's Day

(1) Comments | Posted May 8, 2015 | 3:37 PM

Dear Stevie,

For your first Mother's Day, you were seven months pregnant with our first kid. I bought you a bag of Oreos and you said you would love me forever. We laughed and tried to picture what our lives would be like after our daughter was born. We...

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My Daughter Throws a Fit

(250) Comments | Posted April 13, 2015 | 10:51 AM

My kid threw a Category 5 fit in front of her day care yesterday. It started when she wanted to open the door to the car. I shut the door and motioned to her to open it. She yelled that it was too late because she hadn't wanted me to...

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20 fiese Dinge, die ich meinen Kindern antue, für die ich mich aber überhaupt nicht schuldig fühle

(0) Comments | Posted February 26, 2015 | 4:57 PM

Die folgende Liste ist durch meine Frau, mich und ein paar andere Mitschuldige entstanden, deren Namen ich bis zu meinem Tod verteidigen werde. Diejenigen wissen, dass sie gemeint sind und fühlen sich ebenfalls nicht schuldig.

1. Ich versuche schon seit einer Weile, die billige Erdnussbutter leer zu kriegen. Wenn...

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20 cosas un tanto horribles que les hago a mis hijos y de las que no me siento para nada culpable

(1) Comments | Posted February 26, 2015 | 3:47 PM

La siguiente lista fue recopilada por mi esposa, yo, y algunos otros culpables cuyos nombres protegeré hasta el día de mi muerte. Ellos saben quiénes son, y ellos tampoco se sienten culpables.

  1. He estado tratando de usar la mantequilla de maní genérica que compré hace un tiempo. Cuando hacemos sándwiches,...
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20 Somewhat Horrible Things I Do to My Kids That I in No Way Feel Guilty About

(312) Comments | Posted February 25, 2015 | 4:41 PM

The following list was compiled by my wife, me, and a few other guilty parties whose names will be protected until my death. They know who they are, and they don't feel guilty, either.

  1. I've been trying to use up the gross generic peanut butter that we bought a while...
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'Dad, Am I Pretty?'

(8) Comments | Posted January 13, 2015 | 1:18 PM

"Dad, am I pretty?"

"Yes. You are very pretty."

"Dad, what does pretty mean?"

"Pretty means a lot of things. In fact, it means different things to different people. It is kind of hard to pin down."

"How do you know I'm pretty?"

What I wanted to say:

Because I...

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Wouldn't It Be Great If We Could All Quit Our CEO Jobs to Be Better Parents?

(5) Comments | Posted October 14, 2014 | 4:16 PM

I think it is great that MongoDB CEO Max Schireson and Pimco CEO/co-CIO Mohamed El-Erian left their high paying jobs to spend more time with their families. I do. I also get why it is news, and why so many people are celebrating it....

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Spanking Would Be Easier

(16) Comments | Posted September 19, 2014 | 4:52 PM

Recently I wrote about dealing with an epic fit my daughter had thrown while I was picking her up from day care. Later, a friend mentioned to me that a quick, firm smack on the butt probably would have calmed her down. It might have. It definitely would...

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5 Pieces of Parenting Advice I'm Tired of Hearing

(60) Comments | Posted September 3, 2014 | 12:35 PM

Five years ago, when my wife and I found out we were going to be parents, the first good, usable piece of parenting advice we received was this:

"Take all parenting advice with a grain of salt. Everyone thinks they're an expert. Use what you think is useful for...

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6 Parenting Lessons From Doctor Who

(6) Comments | Posted August 21, 2014 | 12:19 PM

Doctor Who is coming back in less than a week! In anticipation of the new season (and a new Doctor), my wife and I have been re-watching all of our favorite past episodes. One thing we keep noticing is that Doctor Who and parenting have a lot in common. Both...

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The Wrong Way to Support Your Wife's Breastfeeding

(18) Comments | Posted August 13, 2014 | 10:54 AM

When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, tucked in among all the typical friends and family pre-baby small talk, there was one question that continually came up.

"Do you plan on breastfeeding?"

In my pre-dad, super-excited-to-be-a-part-of-all-things-parenting mode, there were a few times towards the beginning when I hopped in...

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You're in Charge of Your Body. I Still Get to Make Rules.

(15) Comments | Posted July 9, 2014 | 11:56 AM

Have you seen this shirt? It has been all over the place. I shared it. I cheered. I like to think of myself as a feminist father. And I agree with the shirt, mostly.

2014-07-07-father.jpg

Here's the problem with shirts and...

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Pourquoi j'ai laissé tomber le sexe et comment cela a sauvé mon couple

(5) Comments | Posted June 3, 2014 | 9:10 AM

Premier avertissement: je ne suis pas un professionnel. Ce qui suit ne constitue pas un conseil avisé. Il ne s'agit ici que du partage de mon expérience personnelle, de ce qui fonctionne et ne fonctionne pas pour ma famille et moi dans notre situation très particulière. Ce qui fonctionne pour...

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Wir sind Eltern und haben den Sex aufgegeben

(1) Comments | Posted May 31, 2014 | 12:41 PM

Disclaimer: Ich bin kein professioneller Therapeut. Das ist kein Rat. Ich spreche nur über meine Erfahrungen. Über das, was für mich funktioniert hat und was nicht, für meine Familie, in meiner Situation. Was bei uns geklappt hat, klappt bei Ihnen vielleicht nicht - weil wir unterschiedliche Menschen sind und das...

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Giving Up on Sex

(157) Comments | Posted May 30, 2014 | 10:16 AM

Disclaimer: I am not a professional. This is not advice. This is me talking about my experiences, what works and what doesn't for me, my family, in our situation. What works for us may not work for you -- because we are different, which is cool. If you want to...

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How I Spent $10.99 on Mother's Day

(3) Comments | Posted May 9, 2014 | 12:02 PM

Note: I wrote this after Mother's Day last year, 2013. With Mother's Day 2014 quickly approaching, I figured now would be a good time to share it with my friends at HuffPost Parents. Enjoy!

My first thought was minivan. Stevie and I made the mistake of going in to test-drive...

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