Hello, this is Ancient Rome. You people keep comparing your civilization to ours and saying that you're "falling" just like we did. Well, hate to burst your History Channel bubble, but we lasted hundreds of years before we "crumbled" and even then, part of us continued for a whole millennium. You'll be lucky to make it to the mid-term elections.
You're less like the Fall of Rome and more like the cancellation of Happy Days. You are living on the memories of the earlier Fonzie era, aware that you've jumped the shark but unable to avoid heading off into Joanie Loves Chachi. One of you will have to leave not just the Cunningham household, but the entire sitcom world and direct something big and bold, like Apollo 13 or Splash.
Your current oil disaster is without precedent. Don't even think of comparing yourselves to us. The closest thing we had to gushing geysers was in our orgies. Besides, we always cleaned up afterward. Sure, we were a little fucked up, but we had respect. Even Caligula didn't do to his enemies what you're doing to an entire ecosystem.
You love the Ancient Rome metaphor because you think it's classic, like Coca-Cola or Chuck Berry. Other civilizations have fallen, but nobody wants to see an HBO series about the ancient Etruscans. Other eras have ended, but you won't see Suze Orman comparing the recession to the end of the Bronze Age.
You know what historical period is coming back for you? The 1610's. From where we sit, it looks like you're being colonized all over again. Deepwater Horizon is the Jamestown Colony of today. BP is the Charter of the Virginia Company of London. You may have to fight the American Revolution all over again.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. But those who do remember the past often repeat it ad nauseam, to use one of our Latin phrases. Too little history makes for poor judgment. Too much history makes for bad nostalgia. Let us pray you have the wisdom to tell the difference between forward thinking and the umpteenth revival of Grease.
Veni, Vidi, Vici,
Ancient Rome
Early evidence of devotion to apostles found in Rome catacombs
Chef Lacroix, Ancient Rome, and America
Spectacular Roman remains unveiled in Sofia
Think we're addicted to fame? You should have seen us 2000 years ago
got ur messg. lol. jst wanted to shoot u qwik txt, big fan of ur pyrrhic war! and my kids luv ur togas! not so psyched abt ur killing jesus, tho! wanted to ask, bet ya didn't see mussolini comin on the horizon!?!? lolz. u'd luv it here, seriously. thanx for the telegram!
semper fudge,
america
Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
wwf gladiators and vomitoriums ,real class .Oh yeah and latin ,so we won't understand doctors and lawyers.
and l we can fail something in high school. :)
How 'bout Mel Brooks make a movie about our last 50 years and call it "Sleeping through History Class" ?
Our self described American Century, Greatest Generation, Worlds Greatest Super Power, etc. needs some humble humor to get us through.
-'He only employs his passion who can make no use of his reason.' Oh dear, he wouldn't make it in the Tea Party.
-'Laws are silent in times of war.' And we've opted for perpetual war. Oh well, who needs laws?
-'Let your desires be ruled by reason.' Does that mean I should chuck my 21% interest credit card?
-'Nature herself makes the wise men rich.' What? She gives wise men winning lottery numbers?
-'It is a great thing to know our vices.' Let's see, that would be Joe Biden right?
If you are a typical American, you should know if you are still unaware of it that in your blood run the genes of immigrants whom you label as illegals. The only truly LEGAL Americans are the native American Indians whom waves upon waves of migration of peoples of all races swamped and are now living destitute lives in reservations. Look who is talking of taking over lands. Your ancestors started it all, and now you dare to posture like a victimized citizen? Come to your senses, and instead appreciate the rich gifts that immigrants brought into America, that made it what it is today. If during the time that your ancestors came over to America, there were very strict immigration laws as you now espouse, you probably wouldn't have been born at all. Think about it and be less racist and be more appreciative of your rich American heritage.
my sentiments exactly
fanned