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Is America Ready for its First Barry President?

01/28/2009 02:27 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Obama would not only be the first African-American elected president and the first to know how to send a text message, he would be the first Barry ever to sit in the White House. The Oval Office has seen four Johns, four Jameses, three Williams, two Georges, two Andrews, a couple Franklins, and assorted one-shots, including a Millard, a Rutherford and a Grover, but not a Barry in the bunch.

Is America ready? Let's look at how the nation has historically viewed Barrys:

Barry Goldwater. The first Barry to run for president, Goldwater had the bad timing to be a conservative the same year the Beatles came out. After losing, this Nowhere Man inspired Reagan Revolution No. 1 and his Senate successor, Blue Meanie John McCain.

Barry Williams. As Greg Brady, he was embraced by America from 1970 to 1974, and again in syndication from 1975 until now, even though he once irresponsibly lost his dad's architectural plans and rigged up a ghost to scare vulnerable Marcia, Jan and Cindy.

Barry Bonds. Perhaps the worst Barry of all time, this Barry has forever tainted his stellar baseball career with alleged steroid use. The only thing smaller than his testicles is his regard for others, especially his fellow Barrys.

Drew Barrymore. Not technically a Barry, her association with old-fashioned American values in The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates suggests that the country would elect a leader that's even half Barry.

Barry White. Half the electorate was conceived to "Can't Get Enough." America has kept the music of this sultry-voiced Barry in their hearts, minds and other body parts since 1972.

J.M. Barrie. This literary Scottish Barry thrilled America with Peter Pan, the book, stage musical, TV special, Disney movie, Disney ride, Hook spin-off, Finding Neverland biopic and Peter Pan peanut butter.

Barack Obama hasn't gone by Barry since 1980. However, Democrats with nicknames tend to win the presidency--Bill, Jimmy, Jack, Harry (technically, this list should include Al)--but not those known by their formal names--Adlai, George, Michael.

In any event, if Barack does re-adopt his famous nickname, it would be a small step for Obama, but a great leap for Barrykind.

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