Huffpost Comedy
The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

John Marshall Headshot

Joe the Plumber's Forgotten Comrades

Posted: Updated:

Eerily reminiscent of Swing Vote, which was about two presidential candidates trying to win the vote of Kevin Costner, the final debate was about McCain and Obama trying to win the vote of new blue collar icon Joe the Plumber.

Yet there were no similar appeals to JTP's less glamorous, but no less important peers. In an effort to educate both candidates and the public, here is a quick guide to Joe the Plumber's fellow blue collar icons, and some predictions as to how they will vote:

Bob the Builder. This popular construction worker has been forced to sell Scoop and Muck, his talking backhoe loader and bulldozer, respectively. Such economic woes would make Bob the Builder a likely Obama supporter, but the latter's hijacking of Bob's trademark "Yes we can!" all but ensures a McCain defection.

Sam the Butcher. Hurt by the recession, Sam the Butcher can barely make ends meet, let alone take Alice to the Meatcutters Ball. An attempt at hiring cheap labor didn't work out (Peter Brady); now he supports Obama, who he says knows how to cut pork.

Rosie the Riveter. Due to the widespread closing of manufacturing plants, this World War II icon is now Rosie the Unemployed Worker with No Health Insurance. She has changed her "We Can Do It!" slogan to "Yeah, Right." If she votes, it'll be for FDR.

Oscar the Grouch. Although he appreciates Obama's plans for waste disposal, Oscar the Grouch is voting for John McCain the Grouch.

Puff the Magic Dragon. Representing the battleground land called Honalee, Puff the Magic Dragon lives by the sea, where he is terrified of McCain's off-shore drilling proposals. He says McCain depresses him even more than little Jackie Paper.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Unable to compete with cheaper, third world vampire slayers, this supernatural battler is now Buffy the Obama Supporter Hoping to Move Out of Her Parents' Basement.

Herbie the Love Bug. A hybrid that runs on a mixture gasoline and Disney, this magical Volkswagen boasts a GPS that keeps it from drifting over to John McCain. If the polls are any indication, this GPS has also been installed in all Joe the Plumbers.

Jabba the Hutt. Looks like Obama will pick up Tatooine's electoral votes, as the 600-year-old Hutt has withdrawn his support from McCain (whose participation in the S&L debacle he admired), because in the last debate, McCain came out against morbid obesity.