Dear Sarah, Please, Please, Please Sue Me

I know how victimized you feel about the lies being spread online and in the media. I know you believe it's your right to threaten and silence those who would question or disagree with you. So let me offer my help in giving you the grounds to sue me for defamation, win and drive a stake into the heart of the First Amendment.

Because everything I'm now going to write about you in this public forum is a total lie:

Ready?

God, I admire you.

You are a skilled public speaker, a thoughtful public strategist and a natural leader.

You should wear longer skirts because your legs are an embarrassment.

The thought of you holding political office fills me with pride and joy.

Your reason for resigning will soon be revealed as measured, selfless and strategically brilliant. In future histories written about you it will be referred to as "the genius move."

You have been the recipient of more unfair attacks than any figure in world history.

And in the future, the words "quitter," "diva," "crybaby," "psycho," and "Little Miss Pouty Pants" will never be used against you.

I hate your hair, especially when it's kind of down and loose and... y'know.

You are a lock for president in 2012. Obama should just give up now. Because that guy's the kind of leader who, when he's questioned or attacked, just fires back low level insults then stomps off to sulk. You will wipe that guy off the map. Poor Obama.

You are the Democratic Party's worst nightmare.

You are respected.

Feared.

And will never be a political punchline.

I love you and truly hope that after you sue me, beat me and silence all dissent, you ascend to the heights of absolute monarchy and bring about the nation of intolerance, ignorance, fear and greed you see in the rabid faces of your followers.

You don't remind me at all of the President in THE DEAD ZONE. Not even a little.

That's it.

Consider yourself defamed, Madam, and let our journey together now begin.

I await your attorney's first threatening phone call by holding my breath starting... hang on... now.

Yours Truly,

John McNamara

Comments

[KriTiKiT]

she won't sue anyone that already has a lawyer on retainer. sorry to crush your dreams dude... :)

[CTtransplant]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great article, perfectly said!!!! Thanks, John!!!!

[mlaiuppa]

Don't forget to send her a twitter and end it "so sue me".

[SoCalWolfGal]

Thank you John!! This just about covers all Sarah Palin's delusions of grandeur and importance. Well sort of. Boy is her attorney going to be busy :)

[Dr. Sam]

Me too. Please Diva palin, sue all of us. Since you are a publicity hound, you'll love what this would for your image and mass appeal. I'll be be truly disappointed if you fail to. And here is my take on your resignation. The real truth is yet to come! And it will.

[madcowltd]

Spot on!

[tbsa]

Fabulous! Thanks for he laughs.

[Reefdancer]

Best post EVER!!!!

[johnnygoodwud]

thanks for making my morning...............priceless

[claylandg]

also and as-

[xraygrrl]

The Screwtape Palin Letters!
Awesome work.
Thanx John

[SiberianRat]

She probably wouldn't even get the joke well enough to sue you.

[DASM]

Probably?

[1murillo]

Agreed. To paraphrase the O'Reilly v. Franken decision: "Just because a public figure fails to grasp humor does not make satire illegal."

[LeftRight]

Sadly John, she will read it, and then ignore that little sentence at the top saying that everything is a lie..... Except that she will remember it on the portions about her looks.

Course, I happen to throw up every time I see her, but I understand that many people seem to find her somewhat attractive....

[GardenerNorCal]

She'll probably quote from it!

[jiml1956]

That was like reading the comments section at Faux News.

[harobamason]

Bravo Bravo Bravo!