Dear Sarah, Please, Please, Please Sue Me

I know how victimized you feel about the lies being spread online and in the media. I know you believe it's your right to threaten and silence those who would question or disagree with you. So let me offer my help in giving you the grounds to sue me for defamation, win and drive a stake into the heart of the First Amendment.

Because everything I'm now going to write about you in this public forum is a total lie:

Ready?

God, I admire you.

You are a skilled public speaker, a thoughtful public strategist and a natural leader.

You should wear longer skirts because your legs are an embarrassment.

The thought of you holding political office fills me with pride and joy.

Your reason for resigning will soon be revealed as measured, selfless and strategically brilliant. In future histories written about you it will be referred to as "the genius move."

You have been the recipient of more unfair attacks than any figure in world history.

And in the future, the words "quitter," "diva," "crybaby," "psycho," and "Little Miss Pouty Pants" will never be used against you.

I hate your hair, especially when it's kind of down and loose and... y'know.

You are a lock for president in 2012. Obama should just give up now. Because that guy's the kind of leader who, when he's questioned or attacked, just fires back low level insults then stomps off to sulk. You will wipe that guy off the map. Poor Obama.

You are the Democratic Party's worst nightmare.

You are respected.

Feared.

And will never be a political punchline.

I love you and truly hope that after you sue me, beat me and silence all dissent, you ascend to the heights of absolute monarchy and bring about the nation of intolerance, ignorance, fear and greed you see in the rabid faces of your followers.

You don't remind me at all of the President in THE DEAD ZONE. Not even a little.

That's it.

Consider yourself defamed, Madam, and let our journey together now begin.

I await your attorney's first threatening phone call by holding my breath starting... hang on... now.

Yours Truly,

John McNamara

Comments

[RepugsOut08]

Love it! Thanks for the laugh!
I imagine your phone will be ringing off the hook tomorrow, with job offers from Fox Noise. Your piece reads like a probable introduction Genn Beck might give, to a Palin appearance on his show. ;)

[DurangoSteve]

That was probably the funniest post I have read to date about America's new favorite soap opera: As the Palin Turns.

[fauxmccoy]

i like to think of it the saga as "as the up-do unravels"....you can almost picture a well coiffed sarah losing it and transforming into the 'dreaded' medusa.

[VinceTeeter]

As one of those libber-al Democrats, I will truly and sincerely miss Sarah Palin

[MrFiskar]

BINGO!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!­!

[Alaska2]

Mr. McNamara, that was hysterical.
You are the antithesis of Palin.
Thanks for being funny, smart, and literate.

[reader881]

I think your knowledge of International Affairs rivals all those stuffy old blowhards who were trying to teach you during your VP candidacy.

I think that wink thing was brilliant. Really brought women over to your side.

Who else would have had the great fashion sense to put rhinestones on their toenails for a charity affair? Flash is always good.

[lajones623]

I have no doubt Palin would read this and believe you were being sincere.

Great work, John!

I hope the lawsuit threat blows up in their face!

[sjones66]

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media." --Sarah Palin, radio interview with WMAL-AM, Oct. 31, 2008

Sarah Palin: Fighter for freedom loving first amendment rights for all americans (this is a lie-- sue me!)

[rhondadavis28]

You’re standing up for all of us Americans who have asked serious questions regarding Sarah Palin.

Down here in Philadelphia, Pa. bloggers have support.

Bye the way we booed her big time at the flyers game.

She parades her kids around and we don't like that either- she uses the a scape goats!

[Malkin71]

I have only been proud of Flyer's fan twice in my entire life.

Once, was 1993, Mario Lemieux finished his final cancer treatment in Pittsburgh in the morning and laces up the skates in Philadelphia that evening to a standing ovation.

BUT WAY BETTER, was them booing Sarah and Piper last fall. That was great.

BTW, Good luck with Ray Emery.

He should be much better than Martin Biron, Antero Nittymaki, Brian Boucher (sorry), Ron Hextall, Garth Snow, Sean Burke, John Vanbiesbrouck, Roman Cechmanek, and I know I'm forgetting a few more....

[raider4life]

To bad there's that Supreme Court decision in Fallwell v. Flynt. Otherwise Palin really might sue you.

[CUL8R]

Now that was funny! Let the claims begin!!!

[KimberleyC]

Love it!!!

[WorldGoneWild]

I have no comment because John McNamara said it for me. Hilarious!

[rj0q1b]

I simply love it

[abbysmom]

OMG! Thank you, John McCain, for unleashing this on the lower 48 - NOT! I truly would like for SP to go back to Wasilla and be the best mom she can, but we all know that's not gonna happen any time soon. So, in the meantime, this whole resignation and accusation thing is just too much fun! McNamara, Shannyn, Begala. Mudflats... what a hoot! Can't wait to hear Rachel and Keith - are they back tomorrow? Hannity's probably hyper-ventilating over his poor little Sarah.