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John Milewski

John Milewski

Posted: September 10, 2009 07:19 AM

The Health Care Debate: Expecting of Ourselves What We Demand From Our Children


This past weekend, like many others in recent years, I spent the majority of my time watching my son's baseball team compete in their latest tournament. All players on the team are, or are about to become, 14 years old.

One of our more emotional players was experiencing some frustration while pitching. Disdain for either the home plate umpire's tight strike zone or the opponent's ability to connect with the ball was clearly visible. To his credit he didn't yell or become verbally abusive, you could simply see it on his face. The young man's father told the manager that he should remove his child from the game for displaying a bad attitude. Dad didn't believe his son should be rewarded with playing time while behaving in what he deemed to be an immature and self-indulgent manner. During a previous game, a player was removed for a similarly minor infraction and the opposing team's manager complimented our team for modeling good sportsmanship by holding the player accountable.

Adults on our team are holding their children accountable by challenging them to express their emotions and desire to win in ways that are respectful of their opponents and that are not immature and self-indulgent in the context of a team sport. Sounds reasonable enough. So if it's good enough for our children, shouldn't we be holding ourselves to the same standard?

Which brings us to the case of Representative Joe Wilson, who shouted at the president in a manner usually reserved for his colleagues during town hall meetings. But this was no town meeting, but was instead a formal gathering of Congress, a joint session convened so that the chief executive could make his case for health care reform. And even though an apology from the congressman followed later in the evening, civility, a commodity already in decline, took a highly visible hit as a result of his outburst. Elders of the party were quick to chastise and denounce this obvious breach in protocol, but I suspect that the damage has already been done. Here is yet another example of adults behaving in ways that would result in punishment if the offender was a child.

The excuses for immature and self-indulgent behavior in politics and public gatherings such as town meetings are always the same. They involve things like emotions getting the best of us or a lack of ability to control our passions. Our frustration reached the breaking point. The list goes on and on. If this happens in school it results in a student being sent to the principals office and may even lead to a call to parents. If it happens on a ball field it often leads to a seat on the bench or an ejection from the game.

What is the response when it happens in the United States Congress?

There are important challenges to be faced that will require the best efforts of serious and responsible citizens and legislators of all political stripes. Adults must demand the same level of civility and respect from themselves that they demand from their children. And if a baseball game is worthy of maturity and dignity, shouldn't a debate on one of the most complex and important pieces of domestic legislation in our nation's history be given the same consideration?

The president said the time has come to act. It's also time to grow up and to hold ourselves accountable to the expectations we have for others.

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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
drJ n da house
04:13 PM on 09/10/2009
Great article!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
John Milewski
06:41 AM on 09/11/2009
Thank you.
11:38 AM on 09/10/2009
John,

Perhaps you are a victim of Alzheimer's disease, otherwise you would remember that Democrats booed George Bush during his 2004 and 2005 "State of the Union" address. You remember, right?
12:01 PM on 09/10/2009
Yep, but no one called him a liar until he was out of office -- now did they?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
John Milewski
06:46 AM on 09/11/2009
Well martinforsa, in spite of your misdiagnosis of my mental condition, I thank you for adding some historical context. Even though it's a bit of apples and oranges as a comparison, it was wrong then and it's wrong now. Does your tit-for-tat response suggest that you're OK with Rep. Wilson's outburst?
mamalisa38
I love you Thomas and I miss you like crazy RIP
11:23 AM on 09/10/2009
The Republican party has shown themselves to be morally bankrupt. They have no class, no heart, and clearly, no souls. For profit health insurance is immoral. The only way to maximize profits, and that's what Wall Street demands, is to raise premiums and deductibles and deny claims. Single payer is the only answer to our health care crisis.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MsMassachusetts
Things do not go better with Koch!
11:04 AM on 09/10/2009
Thank you for your well written article focusing on maturity and accountability for our own actions and how it effects those around us. As an average middle class citizen I have been sitting back watching the level of discourse and civility steadily diminish over the last year. Last night I literally gasped while watching President Obama, as Wilson called him a liar. I have been watching and listening to government speeches for decades. Never have I seen such appalling behavior, and for all the world to see! What must other nations think of us?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
John Milewski
06:53 AM on 09/11/2009
Actually MsMass, you should watch the House of Commons question and answer time with the British Prime Minister on C-SPAN sometime to see a completely different approach than our US standard. But you are correct in observing that Mr. Wilson's breach of protocol does represent a larger decline of standards. While the decline in civility we're discussing may have gotten worse in the last year, it's been on a downward path for much longer than that. Thanks for your comment and keep hope alive that we can turn things around. Maybe the reaction to the Wilson outburst will lead to a little introspection about the terms of our national debate.