05/02/2008 06:00 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Remind Me Never to Have an Affair with Barbara Walters

Not that she doesn't have her charms. I'm sure. But for a reporter Ms. Walters seems to have a bit of trouble with that whole confidentiality thing. At least with regard to hot, extra-marital, interracial affairs.

Apparently, way back in the '70s, the many-times divorced Walters was having a fling with Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke. Brooke being the first black senator elected by popular vote.

And he was a Republican. Man, that is like some crazy, restrained jungle fever.

At the time both Walters and Brooke were very tight lipped about their dalliance because of their sensitive public positions. Scandal meant ruinization.

Of course, they could have just not had an affair, but what fun is that?

Anyway, that was then and this is now, and now Ms. Walters has got a new memoir to push so she's going on Oprah to give a personal, intimate retelling of getting it on with Brooke to millions of suburban moms. And how did she recall the romance? Was it fueled by a passion beyond all reason and control? Uhhh, Walters says she was "infatuated" with Brooke. Infatuated.

Which on the Love Meter is one step above eeh.

Seriously, is that just universal payback for all the times men have gathered together in locker rooms and hunting lodges and back by the air filters in NAPA stores to swap stories of moments that their girls made them promise was "just for us?"

Doesn't Ms. Walters have enough to write about without dragging Brooke into it? The poor guy, after thirty-some years had probably just started thinking; "well, dodged a bullet on that one." Walters had kept the secret this long, why not keep it a little longer, then just compare notes with Marilyn Monroe?

It's just that, to me, Barbara Walters seems like a really classy broad, and I mean that in the Sinatra-compliment way. Angie Dickinson classy; the kind of woman knows how to not go yammering about who did what to whom while filming Oceans 11.

The good version of Oceans 11.

By the way, I'm not saying Barbara Walters isn't classy. But if somebody does forget to remind me not to have an affair with her, at least remind me to ask: "This is off the record, right?"