The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage Vol.2 -- the People's Edition
This is the Vol. 2 of The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage. I'm calling this one the People's Edition because you, the people, have obviously been taking AP courses in talking Conservative. I've been slammed with responses. Enough that I can promise you there will be future volumes. Along with some of mine, I've mixed in a few of yours for everybody's linguistic pleasure.
Before we start, I'd like to note that I intimated in Vol. 1 that English is a Latin based language. Hondorf was among a few others who pointed out that English is "primarily German based, yes, but it is really a hybrid of Germanic and Romantic languages . . . by the way, I am a redneck."
Clearly, none of us should judge a neck by its color.
A reminder, we're collecting Palinisms here, and over at That Minority Thing.com. If you've got 'em, send 'em.
Ready? Let's begin!
If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a "phoney." Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well loved."
SoyAA says: If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to "get to know you." If you're white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're "one of us."
If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist fist jab." If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment." (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills).
DTD SAYS: If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an "extremist." If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist."
If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you're "uppity." If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more schools over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. But, you know how shady people are who ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii).
SeanOcali says: If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens." If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."
If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of "Change," it's just "empty rhetoric." If one week before your party's national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change," that's "red meat."
And your last lesson for the day:
If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you're female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you're a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist -- "Yes, we can!"
If you're a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, "Yup, yup!"
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"SeanOcali says: If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens." If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."
The law in Alaska states that 16 is legal. Unless SeanOcali is suggesting that the law would not apply if the "baby daddy" is black.
OMG it's like the inmates are running the asylum. Is it possible that so many Americans can be so easily hoodwinked? Obama said it best when in response to the tire gauge "joke" he said, "It's like these people take pride in being ignorant." This not a culture war, this a war between the informed and the ignorant. Go Obama/Biden '08 & '12.
What is the "tire guage joke"?
McCain tried to equate the gas savings of proper tire inflation mentioned by Obama with his entire energy policy. When McCain's campaign discovered wide validation of the tire infaltion fact (incl NASCAR) they crawled back.
Can we be hoodwinked? Can we be hoodwinked? Where have you been the last eight years???
Unfortunately, the repugs consistently seem to promote willful ignorance. Their followers just don't WANT to see or believe the evidence right in front of their face if it counters what they believe. The current administration's policies have been a train wreck, yet they, and the MSM continue to portray the GOP's campaign as credible policy and a boon to the country. It's sick, and disgusting.
Kurgman explains this well. Read it. http://www
They are playing the same resentment card that Nixon learned to play, and taught to Rove, who mastered it.
Excellent article by Krugman.
you NAILED it. Let her answer some damn questions already. Is it possible that our dumbed-down culture will actually digest this crap?
Great post.
....unfort
Our "dumbed-down culture" has accepted Obama's record as Bible without reflecting on the cost of his proposed tax cuts and entitlement programs. That cost not only will be financial but also will undercut Americans' can-do spirit.
Are you reflecting on the cost of all our nation building? To me, it looks as if we'll occupy a few more countries under John McCain's leadership.
This so sad. So very sad. But it's reality of the America we live in.
Excellent!
Did you mention... if you're white and rich (Cindy McCain) if you steal drugs it's a personal challenge you had to overcome, if you're black and middle class or poor and you steal drugs.. you go to jail.
tchristin, good comments!!
I thought it was interesting how McCain did not talk about when he returned from POW and was confronted with a wife that had been by him those years and was suffering from a car injury. He quickly dismissed that wife and got a $$$$$$$richy Cindy.
Wonder why he left out those years!!
Great job John.
Here is one. If you raise 300 million dollars and build a 2 million donor base with new technology and beat the most feared political team in recent history, you havent acomplished much, but if you accept a phone call from someone you met once and accept, you are the new star of the republican party.
Did Obama raise all that money and build that donor base by himself? Hardly. They're the products of the Democratic machine and the campaign staff managed by Axelrod. Obama is the "front man." Meanwhile, Palin has managed budgets, people, and legislation on both the city and state levels.
IN A WORLD WHERE:
If I spent 26 years in the Congress, ran for president twice, and "The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should" and I can still say I am ready for the job on day one.
But …
If I spent many years working in community of working-class citizens understanding how the changing economy affects their lives, I am just an out of touch celebrity senator.
And …
If I got a legacy admission to US Naval Academy, and graduated with rank of 894th out of 899, I am called a born maverick leader.
But …
If I was raised by single mother, earned college credits and then accepted by Columbia U. and Harvard, selected as editor (and later president) of the Harvard Law Review based on my grades and writing competition, I am seen as an unqualified elitist who can’t even field dress a moose.
And …
If I claim to have far more foreign affairs experience than my political opponents, have an ace tutor like Joe Lieberman, made 8 trips to Iraq and still think there exist an Iraq-Pakistan border and a country called Czechoslovakia, I am ready to lead.
But …
If as President, I would be willing to speak with dictators (leaders of China, Saudi Arabia, Iran etc), I am dangerously out of touch .........
AN AMERICAN FLYING CIRCUS
THIS TIME PALIN IS FOR REAL!!
(Premiers November 4, 2008. In homes everywhere starting January 2009)
Wow these are great! Thanks John!
John:
I'm from POLK County Florida-Red neck country, and I can tell you that a lot of kin-folk here are looking for that $1000 from Obama. They are really hurting economically, and even though they like McCain and Palin, they DO see "More of the Same" from them. They are tired of the same old empty promises.
Republican for Obama/Biden 2008.
God Bless you. I am down here in Miami crushed in with the Cuban Republicans bolstering McCain Palin. Above me is Broward County the most liberal county in the entire state. For years we have been weighed down by wedge social issues and we are all suffering as families economically. I have hope hearing from you that this state may finally wake up--including me. I voted Republican the last two times to my extreme detriment thinking I was voting my Christian values. These people didn't support my Christian values and they drained me near to bankruptcy and foreclosure. Time for a real change. Thank you Polk county for giving Dade county some hope for Florida.
Newly Independent for Obama/Biden 2008
Right...ri
These are the Christian values I grew up with as the son of a Christian minister. And these are values I have always found in the Democratic party...ne
Thank goodness. I truly hope so. Taniacaa, your post and Mr. Ridley's column give me hope.
For those who haven't seen it, here's the link to Jon Stewart's similarly masterful skewering of the GOP's hypocritical spin:
www.YouTub
Paste and enjoy.
Go Polk County! I was looking at the registration totals today and you are right. It has one of the largest Democratic registrations in the country. It was simply amazing almost 400,000 new registered Democratic voters. To about 1,000 new republican voters. I guess Florida has had enough. Now when are you all going to get rid of Crist, the hypocrit? Did he call off the "wedding" since he didn't get the VP nod?
Is that $1,000 going to be distributed annually--a regular tin-cup donation to the 40% who don't pay taxes? And who is going to "donate" all those $1,000 pay-outs? The 60% who already pay hefty taxes? The U.S. corporations who are already taxed higher than their foreign counterparts? Does that $1,000 promise really have legs or is it just rhetoric?
Brilliant! Amazing stuff, John. Clear, so clear...an
Amen Brother!! You have laid out what I have noticed since Palin was picked as VP. She has not been vetted by the Press or McCain campaign for that matter, has not answered any questions, but based on two speeches she gave its being viewed by the Press like she is the number one on the ticket!!!
( not vetted by McCain but byhis coterie of handlers in the righteous right throes who he MUST cater to to achieve the CIC title. THink if folks CAN review Palin and her "rise" would be wise to check up on her past connections, her lobbiests , her alignments and even hwhere she spoke for fees. She was exposed via a semi obscure web online , even mentioned last year as a possible GOP to consider ...this evidently in works far longer and planned for .WOnder if she was in the thought process even when they were figuring Hillary WOULD BE the Dem pick...mor
i am certain of only one thing... I made the right decision when I left the USA 8 years ago. I am totally baffled regarding the stupidity of the person that will accept this charade as reality. I would not even want to sit next to Sarah Palin at a dinner party let alone grant her unconditional responsibility for my life.
Where'd you move to? I may be looking for a nice place to relocate if McCain/Palin win.
if your a black working class mom the media not concerned with your vote.
Still, that's better than the republinuts, who don't think you should be allowed to vote.
John,
I think that what you’re saying is: Running while Black is similar to driving while Black?
The way I see it, Barack Obama is the culmination of the change JFK, RFK and MLK had strived for in America. Given the opportunity to be President, Obama will have leaped the highest civil rights hurdle in the land.
I am confident that BHO’s decisions will be even handed to all Americans and cause most doubters to see that race will play no part in how his administration governs.
As the first Black President he will have to use extraordinarily sound judgment in all of his affairs. To be successful he must implement major tangible changes that enhance the lives of Democrat and Republican alike.
Running and winning the Presidency will be the most significant political and social feat in history. Once the excitement of his speeches has passed the burden of being a good President will begin and roar of the crowds will diminish while the eyes of the nation watch and we will be not too patiently waiting to see his accomplishments.
Even the fully vested supporters, like myself, can only accept so many promises, retain so much hope, and hear so many sensible words; then we will demand action and deeds!
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