The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage Vol.2 -- the People's Edition

This is the Vol. 2 of The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage. I'm calling this one the People's Edition because you, the people, have obviously been taking AP courses in talking Conservative. I've been slammed with responses. Enough that I can promise you there will be future volumes. Along with some of mine, I've mixed in a few of yours for everybody's linguistic pleasure.

Before we start, I'd like to note that I intimated in Vol. 1 that English is a Latin based language. Hondorf was among a few others who pointed out that English is "primarily German based, yes, but it is really a hybrid of Germanic and Romantic languages . . . by the way, I am a redneck."

Clearly, none of us should judge a neck by its color.

A reminder, we're collecting Palinisms here, and over at That Minority Thing.com. If you've got 'em, send 'em.

Ready? Let's begin!

If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a "phoney." Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well loved."

SoyAA says: If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to "get to know you." If you're white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're "one of us."

If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist fist jab." If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment." (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills).

DTD SAYS: If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an "extremist." If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist."

If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you're "uppity." If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more schools over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. But, you know how shady people are who ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii).

SeanOcali says: If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens." If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."

If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of "Change," it's just "empty rhetoric." If one week before your party's national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change," that's "red meat."

And your last lesson for the day:

If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you're female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you're a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist -- "Yes, we can!"

If you're a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, "Yup, yup!"

ThatMinorityThing.com

Comments

[davidandgolliath]

Ridley's observation indicates the inherent racism exploited by the Rethugs. You know in a way I'm glad that many White Americans and avid Obama supporters are distressed by the unfair media coverage of Obama. They will now begin to see what Black people mean when they talk about the Black Tax. Black Tax is when because you're black you have to work 3 or a million times harder than your white counterpart to be considered equal. In addition, history show that blacks have always invented something ingenuous and it is scorned or belittled or considered immoral i.e. Rock n Roll, etc. But the minute a white american takes it as his own,, he or she is considered The King etc. So this whole thing about the Rethugs taking the Obama team's "Change" slogan as their own, is nothing new. What is new is that finally White Americans are at the receiving end of this painful practice and I'm pretty sure it's painful for you guys when you see the Republicans use it against Obama. But on the bright side , what we can all do is call them out on it and I think the voices of white americans making these observations will have more weight than if blacks do it. If blacks do it they will be described as whinning or playing the 'race' card BUT IF WE ALL UNITE to pass on Ridley's message they will have to hear us!

[droolhound]

Thank you thank you thank you for that much-needed bit of light and laughter in this increasingly dour and negative Rove-hijacked campaign.

The Republicans are scary, Palin is scarier and I think McCain has lost his marbles.

[Scarllatti]

This is exposing the HYPOCRISY of WHITE AMERICA and the WHITE-DOMINATED MAIN STREAM MEDIA. I don't know who they think they are fooling. That is why the rest of the world looks at America as populated by IGNORAMUSES, 64 million of who voted for GWB twice.
Did I hear you say who cares what the world thinks of America? We will all learn late down the road of history that there is NO KINGDOM OR EMPIRE THAT EVER AROSE THAT DID NOT FALL, especially one that is PARASITIC on the rest of the worlds' resources. While I do not wish this for my America, it is the obvious reality. The cracks are beginning to develop in our society already for all those who care to observe.
"Beware of those you meet on your way up the ladder because we will meet them again on our way down"
That the MSM will give Sarah Palin a pass just because she was "good" at parroting a speech written for her by the Bush/McCain goons while demanding up till this moment for a SENATOR of the Federal Republic to "explain" who he is smells of DISTILLED RACIAL PROFILING by the White Media.

[Drobezisi]

John,

Here's another one for the lexicon:

When you're a Democratic presidential candidate and in 1988 you lifted parts of a UK parliamentarian's speech to use in your own campaign speech, you're a "plagarist". When you're a Republican presidential candidate and in 2008 you lift the major campaign themes of "change" and "standing up to the special interests" from your Democratic opponent, you are just "reaching across the aisle and using the best ideas we can find, and not fighting about who gets the credit"!

By the way, on the issue of the linguistic origins of the English language, no disrespect intended to your other reader who commented, but it's more complicated than that. English does have significant Germanic roots, but it also has very significant Latin roots AND very significant archaic Greek roots (among other languages). For example, the word "know" comes from the archaic Greek word "gnosein". Besides, Latin has very significant ancient Greek roots as well (as does German).

[adl]

English is Germanic in structure although we use words derived from many different languages. For instance, we put our adjectives before our nouns unlike romantic languages where the adjectives come after the noun (red house vs casa roja).

[votingthistime]

Your observations are quite accurate and very well-written. At this website, however, you are no doubt preaching to the choir. I wish views such as you have expressed could be presented to those independent and swing voters needed by Sen Obama to ensure his election. Other writers/bloggers at the Huffington Post, Rob Stein for example, say the Democrats in general seek to persuade with intellectual argument while the Republicans go for the emotions, the "gut", if you will. I argue that the two are not mutually exclusive. It wouldn't hurt the Obama campaign to borrow a page or two from the Republican playbook, responding in kind without sinking to their level. David Gergen, recently seen on CNN, also had some useful suggestions for the Obama campaign in terms of making their message sharper and crisper. Later the same day, when listening to Sen. Obama discuss the latest unemployment numbers, I saw what Gergen was talking about. Everything Sen. Obama was saying was correct, his criticisms of Sen McCain and the Republicans were pretty much undeniable, but his delivery lacked, oh, I don't know, something one could readily sink one's teeth into. You can make your message simple and easily digestible without sacrificing substance. By the way, it took the reading of several pages of comments to realize that you are the guy I used to see on Morning Joe but haven't seen lately. I have high hopes for the new Rachel Maddow Show. Perhaps we'll see you there.

[in4success]

so . . . you're finally coming around a bit and seeing things the way they truly are.

welcome to the good guy's/gal's side.

[ugetit]

Amen!

[MrButtons]

Palin speak:

small town= white, Christian

hockey moms= white women

community=the ghetto

organizer= troublemaker

[Elrancho]

Like everyone else here I think this post is fantastic. Could Obama no have it developed into an ad?

[cart 25]

That is one of the best articles I have read in a long long time. This should be read by everyone everywhere.

[Nolana]

Last night I saw an ad that began something like, "After all the speeches and all the chanting, all that's left are empty, expensive words." It was a McCain ad, of course, but all I could think of was that vacuous crowd chanting "USA! USA! USA!"

If it weren't appalling, it would be amusing.

[iluvsam]

I loved ths piece! Great job, and so true!

[James Love - Huffpost Blogger]

I agree with about 90 percent of what John Ridley says. Yes, there is a huge double standard, and the double standard involves race. I do have some minor quibbles. Obama is at the top of the ticket, and Palin is a VP candidates. For better or worse, voters seem to have different standards for the two positions. Secondly, why did John Kerry and Al Gore lose to George W. Bush? I think the voters liked George W. Bush more than Al Gore or John Kerry. Obama may have a likability problem that has nothing to do with race. (Witness the way the public perceives Colin Powell).

[adl]

People like Obama. Don't understand what you mean by Obama having a likability problem. And, there may be different standards for POTUS vs VP but with a POTUS candidate like John McCain who has a better chance of dying in office than most, his VP takes on added importance.

[uheardme]

If you are a white women with questionable academic credentials, right wing fringe leanings, can lie about earmarks, a plane on Ebay, and an ethics probe, demean community service, can deliver one speech via teleprompter, PLAY THE GENDER CARD FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK, PLAY THE LIBERAL MEDIA CARD FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK and REFUSE TO BE INTERVIEWED ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS AND POLICY VIEWS UNTIL THE ELECTION,

You too can be one heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Some of my fellow Americans scare me. If McCain is elected, I'll have to consider moving abroad.

[Melkor]

You see the problem with me is that my memory is too long. I remember all of Ridley's centrist to right-leaning posts. I remember his celebration of Colin Powell and more incredibly Condolezza Rice - a genuine enabler of fascism. I remember him blowing kisses at the GOP and lamenting wistfully that they weren't inclusive enough. Which is the greatest irony of all - because I remember that since the ascendancy of Nixon and the Ronald Reagan school of Republicanism the right has been willfully encouraging the most base, racist instincts in Americans. Almost everything Ridley is pointing out is symptomatic of how the GOP has been operating for decades, how many white Americans practise subtle racism and how the right-leaning media misinforms the public.

And yet for some time now the main target of Ridley's ire has been the "liberal plantation" ( a phrase lifted right out of a Rush Limbaugh segment).

So what's changed exactly John? Just because a truly viable black candidate is running for election you expect all these forces to suddenly play nice? Not what I'd really call a rational understanding of political reality.