White Parents, Black Kids, Tough Love

This week comes word that some child welfare groups are calling for changes in federal transracial adoption laws; that the so-called colorblind adoption system mandated in the Multiethnic Placement Act (MEPA) of 1994 can do more harm than good to black kids adopted from foster care by white parents. A study by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that while "transracial adoption in itself does not produce psychological or social maladjustment problems in children," these children and their families face "a range of challenges, and the manner in which parents handle them facilitates or hinders children's development." Among the changes to the MEPA lobbied for is one to a provision that bars prospective white parents from undergoing any race-oriented training unique from that any other prospective parent would receive.

Perhaps the single most important thing for a child is to be with a loving supportive family. And all things being equal any child of any race should be placed with any qualified parents without restriction or special conditions.

But all things are not always equal.

I would never advocate prohibiting transracial adoptions. Black kids in foster care already have a significantly harder time finding homes than children of other races. But in the case of white parents/black children, the MEPA provision against race-oriented training's gotta go.

White folks, no matter how well meaning or open-minded, have no true idea what it's like to be black in America. That's not a slam against white people or an accusation of latent bigotry. But the fact is that we all live in an Anglo dominated society. From the moment we switch on the morning happy-chat shows until we fade to the stale jokes of the late-nite laughers, our news, our information, our assessments are delivered through the filter of Anglo perspective. Be it liberal or conservative, it's still monochromatic. People of color grow up steeped in "white" culture. The reverse is not true. And, no, listening to hip hop on the way to work does not count as immersion. Most whites will never know, experience or fully understand the myriad of preconceptions or gentle indignities that people of color have to deal with near daily. And that's prior to getting hit with full-on bigotry. Being of color in America by no means amounts to a constant barrage of negativity. However, different from being white, being of color means one's race is a constant. How to handle it is an experience that is best learned practically, passed from a parent who's lived it to a child who's living it. It is not an experience gained merely by watching the boxed set of Eyes on the Prize (though you should watch it anyway). Short of that, some actual training would be useful. Anyone who believes otherwise is just displaying arrogance.

No doubt the policy baring the training was born of some kind of political correctness. But like most political correctness, it's Pollyanish.

Parents who engage in transracial adoptions are clearly committed, brave and above all loving. They should be fully prepared as well.

Comments

[nikto]

I don't particularly care for being called, "white" or "anglo".

I strongly prefer the term, "CAUCASOID".

Caucasoid, I'm a caucasoid...

[sumsense]

This whole issue is about identity politics and has no relevance to the welfare of adopted children.

I urge anyone interested in the topic to actually read the "study" cited.

The conclusion to discourage transracial adoption is based entirely on the bizarre criteria of "racial self-esteem" and identification of racial differences.

If you take this study as legitimate (that such a thing as "racial self-esteem" exists, that it is relevant to our well-being, that it is measurable, and that it was accurately measured in these circumstances), if you take the conclusions to be legitimate (that transracial adoptees have marginally lower recognition of racial differences and potentially lower racial self-esteem than do non-transracial adoptees), you are still faced with having to wrap your mind around where racial identification and racial self-esteem fit in a hierarchy of needs to orphaned children.

In an age where biologists are stripping away the very concept of racial differences, it seem odd that the ultra-soft-science of social work is actually promoting these vague distinctions, and in this case, above almost all other factors.

Should children be denied homes because they face the prospect of racial identity insecurity? Of all the infinite problems facing African-American children in America--poverty, malnutrition, violence, drugs, prison, etc--anyone who thinks that racial insecurity belongs in the realm of legitimate dangers is either a fool or an activist.

[Rockwell]

I've never understood why Adoptive parents have to go through boot camp, sensitivity training, psychological evalution, financial background checks and cavity searches and then wait for months/years to bring a child into their home when wife beating trailer trash can hump like bunnies and pop out as many kids as they want without the State giving a rats ass.

How about we let these kids find a home. Then let the families work out their unique challenges like everyone else.

[politicky]

"White folks, no matter how well meaning or open-minded, have no true idea what it's like to be black in America"

Yep.
My saving grace is that I don't pretend to, I'm white. Frankly I don't know if I can say as much for my kid's mixed ex-boyfriend's mom. Eh, maybe it was a class thing, we don't have any money. I still have good feelings about the dad and the kid.

[nolabels]

I am not opposed to the training. Any caring parent that wants to do the best for their children should exhaust any option to help them to raise their child well. Four years before I was born, my parents adopted a Korean boy, so I have lived in an interracial household my whole life (I am mostly "white"). My parents, although not forced to receive training went out of their way to help my brother connect with his heritage and deal with any potential bigotry. My brother is also very lucky to live in an area in which, Korean-Americans are highly prevalent and are the plurality in certain neighborhoods.
I am sick of hearing that "white people just don't get" what it is like to be black in America. Of course we don't. I would like us to stop making the leap from that assertion to the implication that we don't know what it is like to be the victims of prejudice. I see prejudice on the face of many that I inform that I don't believe in god. I feel their opinion of me shift to a point of disgust. Without knowing much else about me, they assume that I am immoral and don't think that I am to be trusted.
See, we get prejudice. If we are thoughtful, sympathetic people, we can teach any child to deal with prejudice. I would bet the tools necessary to deal with prejudice are same regardless whether the form is different.

[wolverinesm]

My children are considered black in this country even though their mother is white. She is perfectly able (and has successfully) raised these black children for the last 17 years. There is no secret to being black and if there are things that white people who are willing and able to adopt black children need to know to make sure those black children are ready to face the discrimination and bigotry they will have to face, just ask us. Most of the black people I know will be more than happy to step in and tell those kids what they'll have to face. I'm just glad that anyone of any color is willing to love these kids and raise them. Let's not put up any additional roadblocks.

[chrislarry]

Wasn't this covered on a 2 part episode of Different Strokes?

[jowilli]

Let's here from people who have actually lived or are living the experience of mixed "race" adoptions.

Anyone out there?

[standforpeace]

The fact that so many who are writing here are responding as though the blogger had said that he doesn't want whites to be able to adopt Black kids illustrates the need for this education. He in fact stated that he believed that white parents need some training to prepare to deal with the additional challenges that their child as a member of a society in which racism is still a reality will face. The fact that race is such a hot button issue that the emotional response to discussions of race apparently even impairs the abilty to read and process information clearly only serves to highlight the importance of helping loving parents to prepare their children to navigate the experience of being Black in America.

[research]

Adopted children have their own hurdles regardless of race. Not being adopted is still worse the any race adoption.

[standforpeace]

Most domestic adoptions require prospective parents to jump over several hurdles. As long as those hurdles are not financial ones, I think that it appropriate. Taking on the responsibilty for a child is a serious matter, and you should have to demonstrate your commitment before the state entrusts you with a child. And in my opinion, anyone who is going to take on a child of another race needs to show some extra commitment to getting educated on the special issues that will face that child. And the state needs to make sure that that education takes place. One would think that adoptive families would be glad to get the info that will help them be more effective parents. The only reason I can imagine that white adopters would be hesitant is that they are clinging to some colorblind fantasy that if they love their kids the same, they will all be the same. What these parents need to understand is that just because they love all of their kids the same, that doesn't mean that the black child won't have internal identity issues and confrontations with racism in the larger world. And getting ready to help with that is part of being a good parent rather than an acknowledgement of failure to love the challenge away.

[ProfessorDuh]

"White folks, no matter how well meaning or open-minded, have no true idea what it's like to be black in America."
Which means of course that black folks, no matter how well meaning or open-minded, have no true idea what it's like to grow as children with black skin who have white parents in America, doesn't it?

[BobSF94117]

Since when is "Anglo" synonymous with "white"?

And, no, I'm not Saxon.

;-)

[robgart]

i agree with some of the things you are saying but i think that your black pride is showing and i get the impression that you think that black kids should be adopted by black parents. i know some white parents who adopted some black kids and they turned out to be good well adjusted individuals.
kid are kids no matter if they are white are black we are all the same.

[dadele]

I assume their are black couples being refused children for adoption, while white couples are being given these children? Or is the choice, white parents or no parents?