The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation named Al Gore a belated recipient of a 2007 MacArthur Fellowship, the so-called "Genius Grant." A spokesperson for the Foundation explained, "We wanted to wait until after the Nobel Peace Prize was announced before we went public with Al Gore as a late addition to our Fellows Program."
Later in the day, Al Gore, on a sheer whim, bought a Megamillions Powerball lottery ticket--and won! He is splitting the $237 million with Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin, whose lucky numbers came up for the fourth time.
To celebrate his incredible good fortune, Al Gore went golfing with Tiger Woods--and miraculously scored a hole-in-one on the 18th hole to beat Tiger by a single stroke.
The Rose Bowl Committee just announced that Al would be the Grand Marshall of the Parade this year.
The NCAA also announced that, under a little-known loophole in the regulations, Al's actually in the running this year for the Heisman Trophy.
Earth in the Balance just won a Pulitzer, by the way. Better yet, Oprah's Book Club is reading it. It just hit #1 on Amazon.com.
Al Gore has been included as a late addition to ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." Reportedly the salsa competition is his to lose.
The International Olympics Committee has decided to award Marion Jones' five returned medals retroactively to Al Gore, pending a steroids test, just in case.
The International Tennis Federation has declared that, after winning the U.S. presidential popular vote, an Oscar, and a Nobel, Al Gore will be eligible for a Grand Slam if he wins just one men's doubles competition in the upcoming season.
The Harvard Hasty Pudding Theatricals has named Al Gore Man of the Year (utterly predictable). Naomi Wolf has agreed to advise him on how to dress as an Alpha Male in drag (think earth tones).
Turns out that Al Gore has won the Scripps National Spelling Bee competition in the "55-59" age bracket. Along the way he correctly spelled stratocracy, refractoriness, mendacious, and childrens.
Word on the street is that Al can beat Deep Fritz at chess, solve Rubik's Cube in 9.26 seconds (blindfolded), and do 150 one-arm push-ups. An entire chapter of the Guinness Book of World Records is now devoted to his feats.
Smart money says that Al's a cinch for Time Magazine's Man of the Year, a Philip Burke drawing on the cover of Rolling Stone, and an Annie Leibovitz photo spread in Vanity Fair. George Clooney and Richard Gere are fighting for the Gore role in the upcoming movie version of Al's life.
In Vegas, Al recently rolled 7s, pulled three cherries, drew four aces--and scored front row tickets to a Prince concert.
Last night Al's postprandial fortune cookie read, "Great success is yours for the asking."
Al, can't you see a trend here? You're on a roll...
What a group of thugs and theives:
2005 MOHAMED ELBARADEI (joint winner). He’s done such a nice job with Iran.
2004 WANGARI MAATHAI. The Kenyan ecologist peacefully teaches that the AIDS virus is a biological agent deliberately created by the Man.
2002 JIMMY CARTER JR., former President of the United States of America. A true cosmopolitan, he has undermined the foreign policy of his own country and vouched for the bona fides of tyrants and murderers all over the world.
2001 UNITED NATIONS, New York, NY, USA._KOFI ANNAN, United Nations Secretary General. Among other things, they have respectively served as the vehicle for, and presided over, one of the biggest scams in history.
1994 YASSER ARAFAT (joint winner), Chairman of the Executive Committee of the PLO, President of the Palestinian National Authority. He was a cold-blooded murderer both before and after receiving the award.
1992 RIGOBERTA MENCHU TUM, Guatemala. She is the notorious Guatemalan faker and author, sort of, of I, Rigoberta Menchu.
1988 THE UNITED NATIONS PEACE-KEEPING FORCES New York, NY, U.S.A. Notwithstanding rapes and sex abuse committed by the team in Kosovo, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Guinea and the Congo, still doing fine work all over the world.
I think Al could easily handle a democratic congress. What are they going to do? Launch investigations?
If he won by the landslide I would predict, then the congress would be against him at their peril.
It's a win win for everyone on the planet.
Of course the Thug party and all those who support them would would be working overtime while sweating and spitting at what a great job he is doing by taking every single thing he says out of context.
Every fucking single thing.
But he could kick their asses hands down.
Thank you Al
So I shouldn't be surprised if kids see Al Gore coming out of the fireplace late on December 24.
I applaud his work and accomplishments be remain skeptical that he deserves the Nobel peace prize. Some of his claims regarding climate change are outlandish and unsupported by science.
We need someone to champion causes for climate control.
Now if only he stopped living in mansions, flying in corporate jets and practice what he preaches.
DUH.
Actually I wouldn't mind having Al Gore as the champion if he wasn't melodramatic about climate change and if he practiced what he preached.
That's not too much to ask for, is it?
Gore will go down in history as the greatest man to almost be elected President, an intelligent, urbane, well-spoken person who moved to the world stage to tackle issues that transcended national borders. He is a true American, as is Bush. Only Bush is an ugly American, and represents the worst this country has to offer, while Gore represents the best.
He is the epitome of the limousine liberal. Do as I say not as I do. He flies around in an older, fuel sucking aircraft and has 2-3 inefficient homes. His big one outside Nashville is so ecologically wasteful, he pays over $2000 per month on his electric bill. Sounds like a true man of the people to me!
Gore lost in 00’ because he could not even carry his own state. Tennesseans had had enough of weird Al. Had he not turned his back on Slick Willy, he might have delivered Arkansas to Al. Those two states together equal Florida. Enough said about that.
luck would be enhanced, embellished, by getting to
be President of the USA? Oh, contraire, my friend.
The luck would be in NOT having to be President.