THE BLOG

Make Yourself More Attractive In 2 Minutes

04/05/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011
  • John Selby Psychologist, author and mind management consultant

Of course we all want to look attractive when we go out into the world. We fret over our hair and complexion, and what clothes to wear -- but too often we forget that attraction isn't just about the outer facade. It's our inner thoughts and the emotions that fill our hearts that determine whether people perceive us as really attractive.

I worked as a therapist for models and actors at one point in my career, and discovered that a knock-out, beautiful model in a nasty, bummer mood is not attractive at all. Conversely, men and women with average physical looks can become downright radiant, magnetic and sexy when they focus on particularly attractive thoughts and feelings.

Let's get down to specifics:

You will tend to look relatively unattractive when you ...

1: Are consumed by bitterness, anger and hostility.

2: Are caught in upsetting anxiety and contraction.

3: Are feeling guilty about something, or full of shame.

4: Are stuck in self-loathing and other ugly thoughts.

However, if you take charge of your own mind and moods, and actively shift into positive loving thoughts, as well as heart-felt emotions, you'll look relatively beautiful or handsome. You'll also broadcast vibes that attract similar-minded folk to you.

But, how can you take charge of your own mind, and actively uplift your spirit?

Cognitive psychology has a answer to this: the mind-management technique of interjecting positive focus phrases directly into the ongoing chatter of the mind, to quickly short-circuit negative thoughts and moods, and shift your full attention in uplifting directions. With a bit of practice, you can take advantage of this proven technique whenever you want to.

All you need to do is pause for just a minute or two, give yourself a breather, and tune into your own body in the present moment. Then bring several "attraction focus phrases" to mind, one after the other.

By choosing to make this enjoyable inner shift of attention, you will encourage an immediate change in how you feel inside your own skin. You will let go of ugly feelings and thoughts, as you focus instead on the exact qualities that other people enjoy and want to be close to. This is the most direct and honest way to become more sexy and appealing.

Daily Attraction Process: Here's a list of attraction focus phrases" that my clients and students have found very powerful in quickly shifting into a more appealing and successful inner mood. Just say each of these to yourself silently as you exhale, then experience the immediate impact of the words on your inhale -- and when you're ready, move on and say the next focus phrase to yourself ...

Focus 1: "I choose to enjoy this moment."

Focus 2: "I let go of all the stress and worries, and feel good inside."

Focus 3: "I am ready to feel more love and joy in my heart."

Focus 4: "I feel bright and warm and attractive."

I encourage you to take time to write down these four "attraction focus phrases" - and then, several times a day, pause and say them to yourself . Quite soon, you'll notice that your mood quickly rises up, just through pointing your attention in these positive directions.
What you are doing here is actively re-programming yourself to radiate attractive feelings, as you regularly fill your mind and heart with the exact qualities that make you more attractive.

First of all, you shift toward feeling good in the present moment by saying, "I choose to enjoy this moment." Then, you relax and relieve stress by saying to yourself, "I let go of all the stress and worries." You focus away from upsetting thoughts by aiming your attention toward bright feelings by saying, "I am ready to feel more love and joy in my heart." And finally you tap directly into the inner qualities that other people respond positively to, by saying, "I feel bright and warm and attractive."

Each time you move through this four-step "attraction process," you'll find that you get better at making the mood shift. I recommend that you make this a new habit or mantra, which you continue to hold in your mind as you go through each day. You'll quickly become more appealing to those around you. Furthermore you'll feel better inside your own heart -- which is what's most important.

We invite you to enjoy Free Video Guidance with John Selby On YouTube.
Also Visit John's Web site, iUplift, here.