If you've committed an offense against your wife so egregious that she's now more likely than not to divorce you, do these things:
John also blogs at JohnShore.com. He invites you to join/"like"his Facebook fan page. He also wrote, "Embrace Your Wrongness, and 9 Other Tips for Becoming a Better Husband."
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Better advice:
1) Can you save the marriage?
2) Do you want to?
3) What are you willing to do to save it.
4) If you don't want to save it, what do you need to do?
5) If you DO want to save it but probably can't, what do you need to do to move on?
6) If she's divorcing you, your obligation to do for her will be decided by the court, you don't need to flagellate yourself.
7) Nobody's perfect. She may CLAIM to be but unless you are an out-and-out crook and she's not, she's got some blame to
8) Even a friendly divorce is ugly. And an ugly one is bloody. Be ready.
9) Get a good, smart lawyer, not a cheap one.
10) You can't but try to keep the kids from becoming a battleground.
1) Clean out the bank account.
2) Try to get incriminating pictures or witnesses.
3) Turn everything into cash even if it means you take a hit and then immediatly, hide the cash.
4) Secretly hire a very good divorce lawyer without telling her.
5) Temporarily at least make as little money as you can.Quit your job. Reduce your income.
6) Try to find out if she has a secret bank account that she has hidden from you.
7) Sell anything you have of value then hide the money.
8) When she starts screaming and cursing at you, just smile.
9) When she starts screaming and cursing at you ask her if she could wait until later because there's a football game on you want to watch.
10) Did I mention cleaning out the bank account and hiding the money?
[ak-ruh-moh-nee]
–noun
sharpness, harshness, or bitterness of nature, speech, disposition, etc.: The speaker attacked him with great acrimony.
I remember my attorney telling me, "the divorce will mirror the marriage".
—Antonyms
goodwill, civility, kindness, politeness.
ADVISE TIP # 12: Forget advice tips 1-11
1) Call your Lawyer. Immediately.
2) Arrange to sleep over at a friend/relatives place. Make long-term arrangements just in case.
3) Notify your job (if possible) you may need to take a few days off to handle personal issues.
4) If you were smart enough to get one, re-evaluate your pre-nuptial agreement. Review it with your Lawyer and make any revisions if need be.
5) Pending you do not separate indefinitely, make sure all of YOUR paperwork is in order. From this point forward you will be filing taxes separately.
6) If applicable, ask around and find out the local average child support rate in respect to the cost of living where you live as well as the area where your estranged wife's family lives in case she relocates. Contact your tax preparer/accountant and prepare a budget plan so that you can begin re-adjusting your spending habits and lifestyle. If you married a gold digger, think about transferring some of your savings into the hands of a relative to avoid getting cleaned out.
All in all, hopefully this will be just a phase...But in this day in age, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
If you get over this hill, become best friends with your Lawyer. If he helps negotiate a better alimony/child-support rate that doesn't leave you eating bread crumbs, treat him for a beer afterwards.
Good luck!
Let's also not forget this "egregious offense" a lot of times may only be an offense to her. So now they're asking you to admit that it was YOUR fault, and to then hand over complete control over everything to her if you want to stick around.
2. Move money to your own account. Do it before she does. But leave her half.
3. Lawyer up. Get the best attorney your can afford. One with a track record of fighting for men's rights.
4. Take your children and move into your own place. You have exactly the same rights to the children as she does. There is no custody agreement at this point. If you enroll them in a new school and get them settled in, odds are that the judge will keep the status quo during the custody hearing. This depends alot on what the children want too if older. Of course you let mom see them. But if its before you have a custody agreement and the children are young, make sure you supervise the visits to prevent her from kidnapping them. If she comes to your place to visit them, make sure you relock all the windows after she leaves.
Do it to get custody of the children. If you just want to hurt her or if you really don't want custody, then just leave and visit the children as much as she'll let you.
In short, do unto her before she does unto you.
=What is this, "Marriage Counseling for Wimps"?
But, don't worry, if you're picking up signals that she wants a divorce, it's way too late for flowers & candy--or, even, "listening"--anyway.
=Women are great at concealing their intentions, especially from their husbands. So, by the time you start getting hints about an impending break-up, it's likely that she's already: a) hired a lawyer, b) cleaned out your "joint" bank accounts, and c) let her parents know that it's time to turn the "spare bedroom" back into "her" room (stuffed animals optional).
=And, that's another thing: be prepared to find out (when it's too late) that everyone knew about this before you--not just her half-dozen BFF's, but every one in her yoga class, most of the women in the P.T.A. and even the mailman.
=Incredible you say? "We're still having sex, for God's sake!" As if. Almost every guy I know who's been through getting "dumped" by the wife told me the same thing: the sex, in fact, was getting better just before the bombshell hit. What better way to keep you off-balance, and unawares?
=Of course, perhaps, it's just nothing; or, if it is something, it will pass. But, you'd be a fool not to
do some "damage control" just in case.
=Suggestion #1: Get to the Safe Deposit Box (if she hasn't already) and take out your essential papers--remember, it's difficult to fly even within the United States these days wihtout a passport!