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John Shore

John Shore

The Real Reason Christians (and Others) Get So Crazy About Gays

Posted: 12/13/10 09:03 PM ET

A while back I said I'd share the real reason for which I think people get so insane about homosexuality. So lemme do that now. (And then on to all things Christmasy!)

The reason is power. It's all about power. The problem Christians and others have with homosexuality isn't about sex. Nobody cares that much about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms. Sure, it says in the Bible that homosexuality is bad. And of course that matters. As a Christian, what the Bible says certainly matters to me. But the Bible also says that slavery is good, and that women shouldn't speak in church, and that Christians should never eat shellfish, and on and on an on. We've long ago made our peace with the idea that sometimes we have to modify our understanding of Biblical texts---especially when (as is true with the Pauline proscriptions of homosexuality), there are sound reasons to question the way the text has been translated.

What fuels the fiery hatred that so many Christians and others harbor for gays can't be explained by pointing to the Bible alone. Clearly something more visceral is going on with that.

And for so many people, that something is everything.

When you hear the word homosexual, what's the first thing that comes to mind? A gay man. It's always a gay man. It's gay men that get people out on the street waving signs and screaming. It's gay men about which people tend to get so emotional; in the main, that's what all the hate and anger is about.

Zillions of people are a long way from being okay with lesbians; I don't mean to in any way minimize the bigotry against which lesbians constantly fight. But generally---on an instinctual, immediate level---the lion's share of the rabid anti-gay energy is focused upon "fags."

And so that becomes the $83 million question (which is how much total was spent to promote and pass California's Proposition 8): Why are we, both personally and societally, as reactive to gay men as we are? What is it about them that we hate so much?

And the answer to that question is simple: they threaten the traditional power base of men.

Here's the basic run of it inside a man's brain/heart/subconscious:

I may not be much. But I'm a man. And that entitles me to a lot.

Two women together? That's kind of cute---sexy, even. But it doesn't scare me. Because neither of those women can threaten my power. They can't undermine the truth that, as a man, I'm still (figuratively and literally) on top. Two women together doesn't change the fact that it's still a man's world.

But two men together? Yikes. That's a problem for me. That's when all the walls in my world begin to crumble.

Each of those men is my equal, my peer; they're my kind. If it's okay for them to be romantic with each other, then, for me, everything gets upended. [Oh, will you just stop already?!] Because where the heck does that leave me?

I'm a man. I get to be a man. That means I'm ... the man! I'm in charge. I'm at the head of the table. I make the money. I have the muscles. I build the castles. I'm number one! But I can't be number one without people below me to be number one over. You're not a boss unless you have subordinates. My whole organization---my entire power structure, everything that keeps me being The Man---absolutely, 100% depends upon me---and, by extension, upon my kind---being in charge.

And what we're in charge of is women.

Hello? Muscles. Castles. Food on the table. Conquering hero.

Swinger of clubs. Thruster of weapons.

Head of household.

That's how it's been. That's how it's supposed to be. That's my goddamn right as a man. And if you try to take that from me, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you fail.

And we're not joking now. I'll beat you. I'll make sure my kids learn to hate you.

I'll have no pity for you when you commit suicide. I'll happily supply the gun for that. Or the pick-up truck and the rope, if you're having a problem with gettin' her done.

You're screwing with my life now, you see? And I will see you in hell before I'll sit back and let that happen.

And that's how that goes. That's how that's always gone.

And it's hardly men alone who have invested their all into the traditional patriarchal power hierarchy. There's much in that power structure that has always worked for women, too.

It's traditional for a reason. Men are stronger than women. They do have to go out and hunt, and chop down trees, and build homes. Women do have to stay home and have the babies. Nobody wants to see a woman in her seventh month of pregnancy trying to chase down a delicious animal. That's just wrong.

Gender matters. It's real. And it's sure mattered in the past.

But today? When meat's for sale at any grocery store, and most guys wouldn't know an ax from a fax? When women can tap a keypad with the best of 'em? When it's brains that matter, and not brawn at all? When the winner is the one who is the most creative, the quickest to adapt---the one who's best at relationships?

Today, the ground beneath the personal politics and power of gender is shaking like a California earthquake.

And grabbing onto your Bible won't stop that movement. Nothing can.

Men are going to kiss men. And that will always seem intensely weird to straight people---just like men and women kissing will always seem intensely weird to gay people.

It's a new world, y'all. And it's time to be brave about it.

And mostly, of course, it's time to realize that when it comes to men loving men and women loving women, straight people have nothing---nothing---to fear but fear itself.


John Shore also blogs on JohnShore.com (where you can read more of his writings on Christians and gays). He invites you to "like" his Facebook page. He also invites you to check out the Thruway Christians.

 
 
 

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01:57 PM on 12/15/2010
I'm not questioning your knowledge of religion or human behavior, and it is possible that your theory is correct. My experience of the root cause of gay hatred by Christians is quite different, although power is an important dynamic. I have gone from being at first a liberal Christian, to an evangelical Christian, to now, an agnostic. In my past as a Christian, to the present, I have spoken about this issue with a wide range of anti-gay Christians. In the end, the reason was usually the same: "If being gay is not a sin, then our whole religion is a sham, and my life has been for nothing, and I just cannot accept that." I have heard this from as many women as men, so gender seems to be irrelevant.
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MindyC
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05:38 PM on 12/15/2010
But Haldol, think about it - it still comes down to the same thing - power. Someone who holds to that strict religious interpretation uses it for the power they believe it gives them to feel superior over others, to judge others as "less than." Allowing that religion to be held up as a sham strips it of all power, and thus THEM of all power over the heathen others.

Personally, I don't think acknowledging that being gay is NOT a sin makes the entire religion a sham, and I find it sad that so many people feel that way - but I have no doubt that they do, that you are absolutely correct.
02:06 PM on 12/16/2010
How is the gay issue the one and only central pillar of your religion? There are a lot of thing in the bible listed as "abominations" or "sins". So why is this specific one the only one that will cause your whole religion to come crashing down?
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William D Simpson
01:54 PM on 12/15/2010
No John... The real reason is because GOD has said that sexual relations outside the union of a man and a woman, is sin, and is against the natural order of what GOD intended the sexual union to produce, (other people like you and me). Two men or two women, cannot procreate.
HELLO, is anybody home...
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EmmaDarian
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05:11 PM on 12/15/2010
GOD said slave owners could beat their slaves and shouldn't be punished, as long as the slave didn't die too quickly. And that women were spoils of war. GOD is pretty bloodthirsty and amoral, according to the Bible.

I can't procreate and I'm straight. I have gay friends who have biological children, some using the same techniques I would have had to use.
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MindyC
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05:30 PM on 12/15/2010
HELLO, William, GOD didn't say that. Someone writing in an ancient language centuries ago said that God said something that was translated many different ways before the "God hates gays" translations of the Bible. God doesn't hate any of his creations. God has left a lot of us straight people unable to procreate as well - and ya know what? Making a home and a family based on love and respect is about an awfully lot more than procreation. My children, who are not the "fruit of my loins," are the most precious people on this earth to me - I'd die for them in heartbeat. You are simplifying something that is not simple, and it needs to stop.
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10:39 AM on 12/16/2010
I do not sleep with my legal husband as if it were with a woman. I sleep with him AS IF HE WERE A MAN.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
11:31 PM on 12/14/2010
I think that power does have a lot to do with it, but I also think that the absolute inability to understand a gay person's point of view has a lot to do with it as well.
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MindyC
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05:33 PM on 12/15/2010
Well, I have an absolute inability to understand the point of view of a conservative Christian who uses his religion to hate - but I don't believe that person should have his rights stripped away. He might need a good smack upside the head, sure, but . . . :)
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
05:48 PM on 12/15/2010
I agree with you--stripping of human rights is utterly unacceptable. My point is simply that inability to understand makes it much easier to hate, dehumanize, and abuse.
07:54 PM on 12/14/2010
"It's all about power"

Power... and here I thought it was simply ignorance that caused people to object to anything "gay".

There is not a single reason gay individuals, couples, or soldiers should not be treated as equals.
07:27 PM on 12/14/2010
The bible at no time EVER said anything about homosexuality. It is full time gays STOP giving credence to the falsehood of the church. If you are gay, read the bible and see if YOU at anytime are described in scriptures. Other than two men having sex the bible at no time speaks to the core of who you are as a gay person - Straight men also have sex with men - So sex is not the defining factor. LOVE is, and the only time homosexuality is shown in its truest sense is in the David and Johnathan story, and that was a positive story. So stop giving power to anti-gays persons who love to say the bible condemns homosexuality, when at no time it did!
09:55 AM on 01/02/2011
Excellent point! It should also be added that "gays" didn't actually exist as a subculture until the 20th century, and really not in the US until after the World Wars. This is a culture war, it's not religious. The basic reason they use religion is for the same reason they used it in so many other culture wars - people can argue without having to have solid facts they can back up. Interpretation is the litigious man's friend.
02:41 PM on 12/14/2010
As you note, there is a lot of hypocrisy in Evangelical interpretation of the Bible. To me, anyone who thinks the Bible is the inerrant word of God is showing a tremendous ignorance of the early history of the Christian church and the creation of the Bible. It was created by men who picked and chose from the available gospels and typically destroyed the ones they didn't like, along with the sects that believe them.
That includes sects who believed that the teachings of Christ represented a break from the fire and brimstone of the Old Testament that is used to condemn gays (and others). They believed that when Jesus said things like:
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another." (John 13:34)
this superseded all the hate and condemnation of the earlier text. When people like Fred Phelps or Steven Anderson (or many others) say they hate guys, I can't help but think of this quote:
“Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.” (1 John 3:15)
So hating gays is equivalent -- in Jesus' eyes -- to murder.
It's painful (and dangerous) that so many modern "Christians" have totally misunderstood what Christ was about.
(this is my first comment, so please excuse the formatting errors! i can't figure out how to fix them.)
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Todd Surfs
Therapist, gay activist
01:42 PM on 12/14/2010
"We've long ago made our peace with the idea that sometimes we have to modify our understand­ing of Biblical texts---es­pecially when (as is true with the Pauline proscripti­ons of homosexual­ity), there are sound reasons to question the way the text has been translated­."

This one point is perhaps the most important in the article. The crux of the matter: "the Bible says" (literalism and text-proofing) vs. a deeper examination of the texts and the evolving nature of mankind's understanding of the divine.
08:03 PM on 12/14/2010
Well said. If taken literally, there is a clause that gives a man the right to kill his wife if she is not a virgin upon their marriage in the old testament. There will always be those who choose to interpret the bible to fit their needs, not the intentions and teachings it brings forth.
12:25 PM on 12/14/2010
"And mostly, of course, it's time to realize that when it comes to men loving men and women loving women, straight people have nothing---nothing---to fear but fear itself."
Insisting there is nothing to fear does not address legitimate concerns, but simply attempts to marginalize them.
01:04 PM on 12/14/2010
Perhaps if you have 'legitimate' concerns, you'd care to discuss them. I can't begin to imagine what could concern you about my private life and family.
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edgraham
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01:44 PM on 12/14/2010
"legitimate concerns"

Like to hear those. I could use some humor today.
07:56 PM on 12/14/2010
Me too. I'm not gay, but have yet to ever hear a "LEGITIMATE concern" as to why gay people are not treated equally.
12:16 PM on 12/14/2010
Let's not omit some Muslim hatred of gays as well. Christians or some Christians??? Are we generalizing one group?
03:02 PM on 12/14/2010
There are certainly Christians who have no problems with gays, but, as you note, Muslims tend to be pretty hardcore homophobes. Unlike Christianity, which has some very liberal branches, I've never heard of liberal, gay-friendly Muslims. They may be out there, but if they are, they need better PR, because their message is being drowned out by the dozens of countries around the world that criminalize homosexuality.

I've had people tell me that Islam isn't so homophobic -- that it is actually a beautiful and loving religion -- but when I hear that, I can't help but think of the picture of the two teenage boys who were hanged in front of a taunting crown for being gay.
02:15 PM on 12/16/2010
In countries that are gay friendly (ie its not against the law) I have met many muslims who don't have any issues with it. I met a muslim guy in England whose family traveled there for his civil union ceremony, even grandma and that he and his partner vist them back home often. They don't tell the neighbors, but his whole family is very supportive. Its mostly the fact that the hardliners are the ones running the country. There aremoderates and even liberal muslims, they just don't heard about very much.
03:02 PM on 12/14/2010
Oops... The last line of that prior comment was supposed to end with "in Iran."
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12:15 PM on 12/14/2010
I think there may be a lot of reasons why people reject and vilify gay men, including the ones stated above.

Images are powerful subliminal motivators, which causes me to wonder if fundamanetal Protestants, even some liberals, aren't tappping into an old grudge with the RCC, and combining that image of men in dresses, with scriptural texts; an entanglement exists that is difficult to unravel because it is so multifaceted. Quantumly, the very image of a priest in a dress unites the Protestant with the priest regarding not just homosexuality, but women. Foes unite and each embraces both the old testament (old law) and Pauline Christianity because they are compatible.

Contrast that with, "I have not come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it". Thus some embrace the old law, out of ignorance, others reconsider, Episcopals for example.

Law destroyed creates chaos. Mankind needs laws if injustice even potentially exists. Does it?

To fulfill something is to both fully fill, and fully end at the same time. A glass fully filled with water, fully ends it's lack, emptiness. Unjust, irrational, cruel and unusual law is empty of justice. It shames man and God.



We project onto others our grudges, prejudices, hopes and dreams. And, as people do, we seek justification of those things, or not, through scripture, or more accurately, what is written, because that would include secularists as well. People, not just scientists, seek knowledge, and we seek support of what believe to be the truth, hold dear.
11:39 AM on 12/14/2010
While I agree that the entire issue is about power, Those in power always have and always will look for ways to seperate themselves from others and hence keep the power for themselves. I do disagree with the premise that it is gay men that cause the most distress. As a transgender woman, I see every day where there is a huge amount of violence directed at individuals that do not fit societies labels about what is acceptable appearance and behavior for men and women. Even in violence against gay men or lesbians, it is usually this failure to fit into prescribed gender roles that is the typical cause. The power is correct as the reason but it is the gender expectations that is the vehicle for the angst. These gender expectations go to the very beginning of our core teachings about what is a man or a woman. These teachings are often equated with what is black or white and people assume there is no middle ground.
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LintLass
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12:05 PM on 12/14/2010
Trans people do just seem to get it from all sides, whatever their sexual orientation may be: The way a lot of elements of culture spin homophobia and misogyny and biological determinism into all this, the mere existence of trans people is seen by some as a threat to the whole 'system:' trans people seem to be currently on the Fundies' radar as the nation refuses more and more to accept homophobic bigotry: especially because homophobia is justified in terms of gender roles to begin with, there's a lot of pretty virulent hatred and defamation directed that way.
01:12 PM on 12/14/2010
Good points. Ironically, prior to European colonization and the spread of Christian 'morals' around the globe, transgendered people were revered by many indigenous cultures. A belief that they reflect both the male and female nature of god. A 'pagan' perspective that was embraced by Christians with the Virgin Mary and a male image of god; father, son, etc. Hatred is learned and transgendered people are probably the most abused class in our culture.
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01:11 PM on 12/14/2010
"These teachings are often equated with what is black or white and people assume there is no middle ground."

Black and white represent extremes. The middle ground is negotiation between extremes. Negotiation requires and implores us by it's very nature us to avoid extremism of either kind.

Much of Christian teaching embraces extremism to this day when it embraces extreme scriptures such as Pauls.

That a woman's body belongs to her husband, and is not her own, has led to all kinds of abuses of women, including rape. Embracing Paul as "anointed" Christianity propagates not just abuse, but injustice. Commands that women submit to their husbands reinforces the Torah condemation of women as disobedient infidels, adulterer's, unfatithful, inferior, and in need of subjugation.

The misogyny of the Old Testament, and Abraham religion, takes on a whole new level in Paul and spills over to all whom Pauline Christianity considers, disobedient infidels, adulterer's, unfaithful, and inferior.

Paul shrewdly "turns the tables" of the OT and the NT in the minds of men by usurping objectionable laws such as food restriction and circumcision (the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and lower head), but rejects rational justice, and subjugates women even worse then the Old Testament by refusing them the right to divorce and remarriage, completely against the teaching of Jesus. Paul is an extremist.

If it weren't for the enlightenment, some semblence of salvation for the Western world would never have been achieved.
10:12 AM on 12/14/2010
The theory that homosexuals are hated because of power relations makes a lot of sense. The details of the argument here, though, do not. Lesbian couples, that is women who do not need men, are a much more rational threat to the idea that men have someone beneath them than are gay men. The limitation here may be in looking for a rational explanation of bigotry. But here we have an argument which is meant to explain a phenomenon, but seems better suited to explaining a phenomenon that is not the actual case.

Certainly changing gender and sexual roles are threatening to people who were comfortable under the old system. But that does not explain the visceral response to gay men in particular. People lose their power by losing the people below them, not by having the people on their own level not wanting people below them.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
11:52 AM on 12/14/2010
Bigotry isn't always rational. People from homophobic religions teach that there's a 'visceral gross-out' about LBGT people, but in fact that's a play on other instincts entirely.

The idea of women being involved isn't a dominance threat, it's sometimes a dominance *target,* though, you see. (They sure rationalize applying the bigotry and violence to us gals easy enough, but 'rational' doesn't quite so much enter into those.) Lesbians and other women are on some levels more or less the same to male bigotry: ie, need controlling as much as any other: quite often in fact, the homophobic bigotry/violence comes when a male feels *personally* rejected over it. ie 'women not in their place.'

With male-on-male sex part of the issue is that penetrating other males is cast in terms of *dominance* to the alpha-primate instincts. Religious and social teaching triggers that to mean that males, particularly insecure alpha-inclined breeder types, see *only* sexual aggression in male-on-male sex: that's why 'F you' is an insult/there's constant joking about it between males, and why homophobia often takes the form of homophobes perpetrating rape or other sexual violence. The 'visceral response' is carefully-cultivated, essentially. Made 'righteous' and tied into the 'This means someone is an 'other' to be subdued and destroyed.'
Especially if they fear attractions in themselves that might lead to losing status.

Mostly, the roles aren't changing: people aren't so much changing. Our willingness to accept injustice is.
09:47 AM on 12/14/2010
This is an interesting perspective. Mr. Shore suggests that what the Bible says should matter and then makes a case that it shouldn't matter at all. I don't find it difficult to dismiss a book that suggests that god wants us to stone disobedient children to death, it invalidates the entire thing, I figured this out by 6th grade in Catholic school:

"Nobody cares that much about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms. Sure, it says in the Bible that homosexuality is bad. And of course that matters. As a Christian, what the Bible says certainly matters to me. But the Bible also says that slavery is good, and that women shouldn't speak in church, and that Christians should never eat shellfish, and on and on an on. We've long ago made our peace with the idea that sometimes we have to modify our understanding of Biblical texts---especially when (as is true with the Pauline proscriptions of homosexuality), there are sound reasons to question the way the text has been translated."
09:41 AM on 12/14/2010
I don't buy this argument. Gay men aren't seen as a threat to power, we're seen as weak, nelly caricatures. It's nothing but mindless, irrational bigotry; learned behavior. It feels good to hate for many people, to feel more worthy and better than their fellow human beings. As we've made advances with racial equality and women's rights; gays, Muslims and illegal immigrants are the only socially acceptable targets for bigotry in some Neanderthal sectors of society.

The fact that gay men are the focus of so much of the hatred is due to the fact that so much of the hatred comes from heterosexual men who are disgusted by the thought of having sex with another man (or sometimes bothered that it's not entirely unappealing) and aroused at the thought of two women having sex with one another, as revealed in the hetero porn industry. So many rabid homophobes seem obsessed with gay anal sex even though the CDC revealed that 40-something percent of heterosexuals engage in this behavior. When you consider lesbians and the fact that many gay men don't like it, it's probably close to an equal percentage. That's my take on it, irrational fear and hate is not that difficult to understand.
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01:09 PM on 12/14/2010
Thats partly true, Zip. But not entirely.
The hick in back-woods Indiana or Texas thinks you are. But thats because thats what he has been told to think. The person who told him to think that is his religious leader, who knows damn well that you are strong, and getting stronger every day.
The religious right (which in my experience is neither) has built its kingdom on the strategy of convinceing people that their enemy, is weak in the areas in which they are actually strong.
They convince their followers that Democrats are bad for the economic interests of the poor and middle class; while they line the pockets of their corporate benefactors. They convince them that we are bad for the military, while we reinforce the GIBill, overhaul the VA, and prevent major terror attacks. And they convince their followers that you are weak girly men, when most of the gays I know are tough as nails, because they have had to be.
The sheep who follow, buy that lie. But don't think for a second that the leaders they follow believe it.
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sempronia
Sententiae scriptae Latinē eruditiōrēs videntur
09:34 AM on 12/14/2010
Religion is a lot more fun when there's the element of perceived persecution.

(And I don't mean this in a glib manner -- Christianity was rocked in its early days when they realized that Christ WASN't coming back as soon as they thought, and it was rocked when Constantine legalized it and it was suddenly no longer persecuted, and thank goodness for Julian the Apostate for providing a boogeyman to scare up some enthusiasm among Christians...

I could go on, but I feel like it's being once again demonstrated that a PERCEIVED threat receives a stronger reaction because there are those who find it useful in creating a larger and tighter community, here based upon fear...)