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John Willey

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Unprepared As a Parent

Posted: 08/18/2012 5:20 pm

I thought I was prepared to be a parent.

I mean after all, I have been dad for almost eight years now. I've changed my fair share of diapers, packed a good number of school lunches and washed numerous loads of laundry. Turns out that that is the easy stuff.

No one ever prepared me for the emotions involved in this whole parenting thing.

It's not something that you read about, because I don't know if anyone can actually describe how you are going to feel at any given moment.  One second you are happy as can be that your son got a hit in a tee ball game, the next you're crying your eyes out dropping your kid off on the last day of preschool.

That was me.

I didn't realize how difficult of a moment this would be for me, seeing him disappear through the doors of his school of two years for the last time.  My little guy is going in those doors a little boy and coming out a big kid. There will be no more driving him to school everyday, blaring one of his favorite songs on the radio.  No more opening the door for him and telling him to have a great day.  Our little morning routine is changing, forever.

My little boy is changing, forever.

He's growing up. Fast. As much as I don't like to see it happen I am going to have to accept that reality sooner or later.  One of these years I will be dropping him off at college seeing him disappear through the doors of his dormitory.  I'm not prepared for that.

I don't know if ever will be.
 

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I thought I was prepared to be a parent. I mean after all, I have been dad for almost eight years now. I've changed my fair share of diapers, packed a good number of school lunches and washed nume...
I thought I was prepared to be a parent. I mean after all, I have been dad for almost eight years now. I've changed my fair share of diapers, packed a good number of school lunches and washed nume...
 
 
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
jbarelli
I don't belong to an organized political party.
01:58 AM on 08/25/2012
From a father about a decade ahead of you, I can answer your question about whether you'll ever be prepared for when your son heads out into the world.

No.

My son, newly married, finishing submarine school in Connecticut, is a fine young man and I'm immensely proud of him and of his accomplishments.

But somewhere down in my heart, he will always be the little boy whose favorite climb toy is dad. The idea that he is on his own, a responsible adult, is something that I'm happy with, proud of, but will never be entirely ready for.

And I think that's the way it's supposed to be.
01:36 PM on 08/20/2012
Children depend on their parents if your not ready too bad you need to become ready.
We are their leaders and role models they need us.Children learn by what they see us do
if parents are not around much or fail to teach them what they need to know. There's no
one to blame but you because you failed them.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
John Willey
08:44 PM on 08/20/2012
How exactly am I failing my kids? By showing emotion? Obviously you didn't read the article.
12:51 PM on 08/19/2012
it is an amazing experience. Thank you for your heartfelt and sincere story. I invite you to visit www.thedancingparent.com for wise and compassionate articles and guides on parenting.
11:22 PM on 08/18/2012
There's worse coming. You haven't seen anything yet.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
John Willey
08:44 PM on 08/20/2012
Yikes! Say it aint so!
03:48 PM on 08/21/2012
Oh it's so all right. You haven't been the distance until you've taken one through age 17. I've taken 4. Burn down the house and disappear while you still have a chance.
ModerateVoiceofReason
Confusing with facts
08:05 PM on 08/18/2012
I have four children from two marriages.

22 year old son- A recently commissioned officer in the Marine Corps
19 year old daughter - College student, made the Dean's list
5 year old son - normal in every way
1 year old son - a little monster.

So far they are are on track to being normal well-adjusted human beings and I have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what I did to achieve this goal.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
themightyabealrd
screw the real world-I'm an artist!
05:41 PM on 08/18/2012
I actually enjoyed watching my two sons (and now, my grandson) grow and change and become their own person. As they mastered various language & social skills, the process involved was fascinating to observe. My late father had many good points, but he sort of 'tuned out' on his three kids once they stopped being cute little 'dependent on Daddy' beings. And by adolescence, we were clearly Mom's job.
I made my own mistakes, but I have remained close to my boys all throughout their lives.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
birdinanest
08:23 AM on 08/18/2012
Next week, my youngest son will go off to college. It goes fast. The days are long but the years blur by.
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ginadeoliveira2008
Seen a shooting star tonight and I thought of you
09:55 PM on 08/17/2012
It seems you'll have to work on acceptance. Please, have more kids if possible. It will make a world of difference. Things will be easier.