If North Korea starts a war, this might be the final Week to Week News Quiz. So show your defiance and take our test of your news savvy.
Here are some random but real hints: Her real children were an achievement of old labor; you won't have to wait until Monday to get your credit card bill; maybe Elián González ratted them out; and oppo research gets its revenge. Answers are at the bottom of the quiz.
1. How did North Korea's state-run news agency refer to the United States?
a. "Satan number one"
b. "the big sausage death ramp"
c. "taller than a sleeping giraffe"
d. "similar to a boiled pumpkin"
2. Who once said "Tony Blair" was her greatest achievement?
a. Hillary Clinton
b. Cherie Blair
c. Margaret Thatcher
d. Queen Elizabeth II
3. Senators moved ahead with bipartisan legislation for what?
b. Background checks for gun owners
c. Budget reconciliation
d. Invasion of North Korea
4. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has threatened the "nuclear option." What is it?
a. Giving nukes to South Korea to counter North Korean threats
b. Forcing a government shutdown to stop Republican plans to cut social services
c. Phasing out nuclear power plants in the United States unless they can be made safe against terrorist attack and natural disaster
d. Changing the Senate rules to make it easier to end a filibuster
5. Citing opposition from Congress, the U.S. Postal Service backed down on what plan?
a. Closing all physical post offices and offering all services online
b. Eliminating letter delivery and focusing on packages and freight
c. Eliminating Saturday letter delivery
d. Merging with Federal Express
6. Where were more than a dozen people wounded in a stabbing attack?
a. A community college campus in Cypress, Texas
b. A suburban shopping mall near Minneapolis
c. A mosque in Boston
d. A high school in Denver
7. What country returned a couple that had fled there after they had abducted their two children from the United States?
a. The U.K.
8. Former U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner told The New York Times he was considering seeking what position?
a. New York governor
b. New York City mayor
c. Chuck Schumer's U.S. Senate seat
d. North Korea tour guide
9. What did a secretly recorded campaign strategy session reveal Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and his team discussing?
a. The mental health and religious views of possible challenger Ashley Judd
b. A plan to filibuster campaign finance reform
c. Hiring Karl Rove to run their campaign
d. Gerrymandering the voting districts in Kentucky
10. The Associated Press announced that it is removing what term from its stylebook?
a. Born-again Christian
c. Boiled pumkin
d. Illegal immigrant
BONUS. What has an elaborate online hoax claimed about televangelist Joel Osteen?
a. Women in Osteen's church were forced to wear veils and were forbidden to teach men
b. Osteen had used $400,000 of church funds to pay for a seat aboard a Russian space tourism flight
c. Osteen had renounced his faith and resigned from his megachurch
d. Osteen was planning to launch a bid for the GOP presidential nomination in 2016
The news and the quizzes don't stop there! Join us for our next live Week to Week political commentary program with a news quiz at The Commonwealth Club on April 15 in downtown San Francisco.
ANSWERS: 1) d. 2) c. 3) b. 4) d. 5) c. 6) a. 7) c. 8) b. 9) a. 10) d. BONUS) c.
EXPLANATIONS OF THE HINTS: Margaret Thatcher reportedly said her greatest achievements were Tony Blair and his New Labour movement; you can still get bills via Saturday mail delivery; Elián González was the boy whose custody struggle in the 1990s created more tension between the United States and Cuba; and McConnell and his campaign staff were discussing how to use background information on their opponent to gain an advantage in the election.
Follow John Zipperer on Twitter: www.twitter.com/cwclub