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Jolie Jenkins
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Jolie Jenkins is an actress whose recent roles include a toothless white-supremacist and Tony Shaloub's bikini-clad girlfriend. She writes the blog Joeycake, where she shares recipes and gripes/brags about her ridiculous Los Angeles adventures.

Entries by Jolie Jenkins

An Open Letter to My Pregnancy Body Pillow

(0) Comments | Posted October 29, 2014 | 6:41 PM

Dear Pregnancy Body Pillow,

We had a rocky start. You were a hand-me-down, a second-class-citizen, cast aside by a good friend with a newborn. She was eager to return to belly-sleeping, so you got the swift boot. I was a skeptic, set in my pre-pregnancy sleep ways, but I had...

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The Self-Administered Bikini Wax Is A Huge Rip-Off! (Don't Try This at Home)

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2014 | 12:29 PM

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I have a pair of strappy sandals that to put on requires a contortionist's skill. It involves sitting down, bending over, hinging a knee sideways and pulling an extreme foot-flex move, all the while straining my optic nerves to see beyond their peripheral...

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Chinese Foot Massage 101: It'll Knock You Off Your Feet

(0) Comments | Posted April 24, 2014 | 3:21 PM

I must be a glutton for punishment. Not only do I frequent the Korean Spa, I often spring for cheap, sub-par treatments at Chinese Foot Massage places. While I'm lying there suffering, I wonder why I had amnesia concerning the torture I endured the last time around. Probably...

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How My Fifth-Grade Self Helped Me on My Fertility Quest

(0) Comments | Posted April 1, 2014 | 5:17 PM

One night while my husband and I were watching the Olympics, my memory was jogged by the name of a Chinese ski jumper. I had all but forgotten that in the fifth grade, I was cast as the title role in Ah Wing Fu and the Golden Dragon, a children's...

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Quiz: Which Time-Sucking Yet Irresistible Internet Article Are You?

(0) Comments | Posted March 24, 2014 | 12:01 PM

Shirk your responsibilities and answer these questions to find out!


Your greatest fear is:

a.) getting stroke-face from bad Botox
b.) choking on sawdust
c.) that all your friends Argon
d.) the your/you're atrocity
e.) people thinking you're normal

For a good time...

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How to Juice-Cleanse Like a Motherf*cking Champ

(0) Comments | Posted January 3, 2014 | 1:43 PM

  • The cardinal rule of juice-cleansing: Talk about nothing else to anyone who will listen. Discussing your juicing actually helps detoxification, as many impurities are released via the vocal cords. Possible topics include: Ugh, I'm Cleansing! and I've Already Pooped Three Times Today!
  • Purchase enough juice that when it's placed in...
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How To Break Into the Glamorous World of Commercial Acting

(2) Comments | Posted December 6, 2013 | 7:54 PM

Ready to make hundreds of thousands of dollars the easy way? And be fast-forwarded on DVRs across America? Enjoy an exciting career acting in TV commercials. Since you already know how to act (who doesn't?) and you've secured an agent (easy-peasy!) here's some of the nitty-gritty to get you rolling:

...
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Korean Spa 101: Therein Lies the Rub

(3) Comments | Posted November 25, 2013 | 9:44 AM

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Welcome to the Korean Spa! As someone who knows the ropes, allow me to walk you through a few important things about your visit (after you pay up front as required):

Most importantly (maybe I should have told you this before you paid):...

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