Goodbye Luis Castillo

03/21/2011 10:52 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011
  • Jon Chattman Writer/author, founder/host, consultant, proud dad

Sorry Kermit, it's actually quite easy being green. It's being a Mets fan that's really difficult. The New York franchise has a rich history, but also always seems to punish its fans with poor signings, bonehead planning, and inept management. In recent years, the team has reached all-time lows and I say this about a team who's still paying Bobby Bonilla not to play. The team is currently the joke of Major League Baseball thanks to lackluster seasons coming off late-season chokes of '07 and '08, baffling roster moves, and constant ownership mishaps. Speaking of the latter, the Wilpons are -- as we know -- being sued for possibly $1 billion, and are still reeling from Bernie Madoff.

Having said all of that, there are some bright spots to this off season. Even though sports gurus pick the team to finish last or second-to-last, the team seems to be gelling more. Jason Bay and Jose Reyes are healthy, and while Carlos Beltran, AKA "Mr. Glass," appears destined for the DL, the team dynamic seems to working better under new skipper Terry Collins. Still, don't expect much. The team has a weak rotation and is banking on health. But, again... I digress. Some great news came out of camp on Friday when no-nonsense General Manager Sandy Alderson relieved fans of the misery that has been Luis Castillo. The injury-plagued former star Marlin always seemed to take a ho-hum approach whether he was botching a Yankee pop-up or being called out on a third strike. That malaise resonated with fans and it's been a long time coming for the infielder to leave Queens.

With this good news -- something rare for us Mets fans lately -- I felt inspired to write a song. Perhaps subconsciously, it's because the Royal Wedding is approaching and Elton John's remake of "Candle in the Wind" at Princess Di's wedding was on my mind. Most likely, though, it's probably because for once there's good news coming out of blue and orange nation. Rejoice Mets fans. We've earned it.

"Goodbye Luis Castillo"
(Sing to "Candle in the Wind")

Goodbye Luis Castillo
Though I never liked you at all
You had a case of malaise
And you hobbled like a goat

You crawled out of the disabled list
And then went right back on it
Your knees and ankles are weak
And you kind of drop fly balls

And it seems to me you played for the Mets
Like a Golden Girl named Bea
Never knowing how to run or hit
When your time at bat came

And I would've liked to like you
But you always got hurt
Your candle burned out long before
Your Omar contract set in

Consistency was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Mets wanted a superstar
And pain was the price they paid

Even when you hit
Oh the fans still hounded you
All they had to say
Was Castillo cost the game

[Repeat chorus]

Goodbye Luis Castillo
From the young fan in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something more than $6 million
More than just our Mets scapegoat

[Repeat chorus]