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The Bottom Line on the Bottomless Cup

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Some things in life are just unexplainable. Take CVS receipts, which a friend of mine always denotes, print out a mile long even when you buy just a stick of gum or Chapstick. As we spring ahead this weekend, I've been thinking a lot about one inexplicable thing that comes around each sunny season: diner iced coffee refills - or the lack thereof.

A few years back, I went to a nearby diner for some iced coffee and was turned down on a refill. When I asked the waiter why, he simply shrugged his shoulders and said it was the diner's policy to only refill a warm mug. WTF crossed my mind but I've let it go ever since. Still, it irks me. Last week's unseasonably warm weather (well, if you count 50 degrees unseasonable considering today's snow downfall), made me realize how much this ice coffee rejection burns me when I found myself in the same situation. I simply ordered a hot cup at a diner, drank all my water, and dumped the java in a cup of ice.

Why is it coffee coming from the same pot can be bottomless yet tossing in a few ice cubes makes it not so? As a newspaper editor a few years back, I tried to uncover this coffee conspiracy by surveying area diner owners. I had no luck. The mystery only grew. Most refused to speak out, and those who did, gave cryptic answers like they only refill hot cups (no reason given) or that patrons tend to drink just one cup of ice coffee.

I run on Dunkin (and Starbucks), and never expect a comp refill at either establishment (most of the time, I'm on the go and don't mind), but when I'm sitting at a diner for an extended period of time, it's nice to get another round. Ice coffee doesn't cost anything extra does it?

I write this in the hopes one of you can get to the bottom of this. I know....I know....There are way more important things going on in the world, but admit it, there's no logic or reason behind this (And when I say "this" I mean the ice coffee situation and not this subject matter although there's a case for that as well). Anyone care to weigh in? Larry David are you out there? Do you feel my pain?