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Jon Eig

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Tiger Woods and the Deathly Hallows

Posted: 06/12/2012 5:19 pm

Lord Voldemort succeeded in killing Albus Dumbledore. Tiger Woods chipped in on 16 at the Memorial. And two worlds shook.

For those unfamiliar with magic and muggles, Lord Voldemort was the evil wizard whose rise to unparalleled dominance in the wizarding world was thwarted by the innocent babe Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling's game-changing Harry Potter series chronicles Voldemort's seven year journey to regather his former potency and regain his preeminence.

For those unfamiliar with mashies and flop shots, Tiger Woods was on the verge of being the greatest golfer of all time. Multiple babes of varying degrees of innocence derailed him.

Both men inspired great passion in their fans and great fear in their enemies. So, even after the fall, there was always the whispering: "He's ba-ack."

Voldemort had a few abortive attempts to return to glory along the way, much like Tiger had Arnie's Invitational win in March. But after that chip at Muirfield Village, a lot more people are believing this could be the real thing. And what better venue could we hope for than San Francisco's Olympic Club. Will we see Tiger claim his first major in four years at the "Graveyard of Champions?"

In order for him to win, Tiger would do well to learn from Voldemort (minus the obsession with the innocent babe issue that ultimately undid him.) The "deathly hallows" were three magical objects the Dark Lord hoped to acquire in his attempt to regain his power:

The Cloak of Invisibility: The job of shielding the most visible of all athletes used to fall mainly on Steve Williams, Tiger's long-time caddie. The pair split up after the downfall and now it is Joe LaCava's task to keep the golfer focused. Of course, it is also Tiger's task, and staying invisible is never bad advice for a man in Tiger's position.

The Resurrection Stone: This allows some form of communion with the dead. Though it may be overly simple to say that Tiger's world spun out of control after his father Earl's death in 2006, it would no doubt be a great aid for Tiger to be able to spiritually return to a time when his father was there to advise and counsel. By all accounts, Earl Woods was a man of great character who exercised enormous influence over his son.

The Elder Wand: The unbeatable wand. Tiger needs his putter. When he was at the top, he never seemed to miss a meaningful putt. This more than anything else engendered confidence and inspired fear.

Are you rooting for him? I am. Harry Potter, according the epilogue of the final book, had a pretty sweet life after finally disposing of Voldemort. But nobody's writing books about that, are they? I'm not talking about fan fiction. The most successful series in publishing in our lifetime came to end when the guy who tried to conquer the world was dispatched. I'm not ready for this era to end in golf just yet. They'll be time for the Ricky's and Rory's and Ryo's to write their own chapters. Come on Tiger. Win just one more for the Dark Lord.

 
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