What Leno Missed

"For a million dollars," Jay Leno asked Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., today, "how many houses do you have?"

"Could I just mention to you, Jay, that, at a moment of seriousness. I spent five-and-a-half years in a prison cell," McCain said. "I didn't have a house. I didn't have a kitchen table. I didn't have a table. I didn't have a chair. And I didn't spend those five-and-a-half years because, not because I wanted to get a house when I got out."

"For a million dollars," Jay Leno asked Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., today, "how many houses do you have?"

As you may or may not be aware The Tonight Show is taped before a live audience for air a few hours later. That's right, while you're watching "Jaywalking" in your barcolounger, Jay is actually replacing the head gaskets on his 1933 Duesenberg SJ. Sometimes, do to time constraints, interviews must sometimes be edited. However, because I live in Hollywood and am of the Jewish faith, I have access, as does Corey Feldman, to a live feed of the broadcast. Herewith, I present some of the interview which had to be cut,

Jay: "You've taken a lot of heat for the TV ad comparing Barack Obama to Paris Hilton."

JM: "Let me say that I have the utmost respect for the Hilton family. I first became acquainted with them when I had an extended stay at one of their Southeast Asia Properties in 1967."

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Jay: "Do you still stand by your statement that the U.S should stay in Iraq for 100 years if necessary?"

JM: "Time is relative my friend. Sometimes five and a half years can seem like an eternity when you have to eat gravel for Sunday Brunch and you receive a bamboo manicure three times a day."

Jay: "You've criticized Joe Biden's suggestion that Iraq be divided in to three separate states. Why is that?

JM: " It was next to impossible to escape a North Vietnamese prison camp. Suppose I had succeeded only to be captured by east or west Vietnamese forces?

Jay: " What do you think the proper American response to the Russia-Georgian crisis should have been"?

JM: "First and foremost we should have established a no fly-zone over the entire area. Believe me, you don't want to fly over any place hostilities are taking place. You could get shot down and spend time in a POW camp, which, take it from me, is no picnic."

Jay: "For many Americans, losing their home to foreclosure is a very real an immiment threat. What would you do to ease the situation"?

JM: " I would suggest, as a temporary measure, that those who have lost or will lose their homes band together and live in barracks for awhile. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but believe me, they seem like the Connaught, or at least the Savoy when compared to a 3x5 cement cell where the continental breakfast consists of feces served at the end of a bayonett."

Jay: "Your wife Cindy is stunning. She certainly is an asset to your campaign.

JM: "Don't even think about it buster. You may be half my age but I spent over five years of hell undergoing torture that would make a mute spill the bans and I'll bust you one right in the chops if you so much as look at her the wrong way, even if it lands me in the hole for six months."

Jay: "Speaking of age, you've tried to allay concerns about your own by stating that you will one serve one term if elected. Do you stand by that"?

JM: "Did I mention that I spent five and a half years in a North Vietnamese prison camp? And this was during the Viet Nam war"!

Jay: "Thanks for taking time out from your busy schedule Senator. We'll be right back with Iron Chef Le Doc Thieu right after this.

Comments

[schatsie]

hysterical,.... question is will they buy it?

[Sportswoman]

Bravo! Well-done!

[huffybike]

This was so sad. I put up a set of MP3s from the Leno appearance yesterday: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/2499/John-McCain-On-The-Tonight-Show

[zippywpinhead]

Lol...

[vipersdad]

"Iron Chef Le Doc Thieu"

That is a riot! Thanks for the laugh - very funny piece!

[rock2casbah]

Very funny.
Since he uses this POW card all the time the Dems need to hammer at the convention how McCain has consistantly voted against any help for vets; that he seems happy to send all our young men and women to war - and has never heard a foreign policy problem yet that he didn't think could be solved by our military - but doesn't care a bit for them once they return. This needs to be huge at the convention because its a disgrace and it shows how truly moral and caring the man is.

[random7]

Bravo, Jon Hayman! Hysterical.

[JBCinSD]

To paraphrase Joe Biden (mocking Rudy Guilliani):
McCain has become: a noun, a verb and POW.

[PaceSetter]

OMG that was brilliant! "Being of the Jewish faith", the only other Q and A I would have added was: You state that Barak Obama's words really don't matter. When asked about his support for meeting with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "without precondition," Barack Obama said, "I think what I said" was that he would meet with these leaders "at my time and choosing" and with "preparation." Unfortunately Jay, as you know, I spent five and a half years meeting with despotic dictatorial leaders at their time and choosing, with very little preparation and so I know that Obama is just pie-in-the-sky dreaming if he thinks he can get away with guff like that. Israel and AIPEC demand the US elect a president who will not place Israel's interests ahead of the of the American people's. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.