Religion Is Silly And So Are Relationship Rules: Or How To Instantly Alienate Nearly Everyone

04/22/2015 01:15 pm ET | Updated Jun 22, 2015

Episode 5 in the docu-series "Connected" is a doozy. It ends, I must admit, rather poetically when in a stoned haze I denounce all religions by declaring them "silly!" (how articulate I can be).

What I actually meant to say is just as blasphemous but slightly different. I meant that religions seem archaic and therefore I find it silly that we (as a species) still adhere to something so universally (in my humble opinion) ineffective and cartoonish.

Just as science has evolved so has the human imagination and the understanding of our place in the cosmos. Generally speaking religious tales feel like old Super 8 black and white silent films, dated and practically irrelevant. A good example of the absurdity of religion is captured in Alex Gibney's enlightening new film "Going Clear." It shows how seemingly smart people can buy into a series of utterly ridiculous beliefs that permit and encourage people to be treated in demeaning and inhumane ways; And all for what?

And sadly Scientology isn't so much different than the other more popular religions. Like politics, religion is all about power and has become, or has always been, more of a sport than a means to spirituality---it's surprising New Era hasn't released a line of fitted baseball caps with religious logos. My prediction is the world is less than one hundred years away from the total extinction of religion and/or the total extinction of us. My money---and my faith, is on religion.

Monogamy-schmanogony. I've spent the better part of the last decade in monogamous relationships and I was very happy. So I don't totally denounce it, like religion, but I have to believe there's a better system.

Recently, when my relationship ended (and not before, as it may appear) I embarked on an expedition, of sorts, to discover what a tailor fitted romance might look like on me. Deconstructing a traditional relationship by eliminating rules felt like a good place to start. I've never had established rules of conduct with any of my friends or family, just trust that we would behave and interact respectfully, which should be a prerequisite for any relationship.

By eliminating rules from a relationship perhaps it can have the effect of eliminating the perverse attraction humans (particularly me) have to breaking rules, especially sexual ones, which often times is the downfall of a good relationship. And from what I can tell (by reading, what I consider the leading on-line authority on relationships---the Huffington Post) Jude Law didn't fuck his nanny because they shared an otherworldly romantic connection with undeniable chemistry that justified the obvious inappropriateness, no, I doubt it. It was because she was the least appropriate person in the entire world for him to fuck which by default made her the most desirable.

I guess I'm a republican when it comes to romance, the less government the better---and I've never met Jude Law so I could be way off base with this crackpot theory, but I also don't know Bill and Monica or Hugh and Devine, so who knows?

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