Death is a beautiful thing. In the modern word, this is a perspective that is hard to accept. We live our lives driven by the desire for beauty, longevity, material gain, and control. Real death is hidden from view. You can turn on any television and see birth, sex, violence, illness, fame, wealth, and age. The death we see is false, and comes now in a strange drama. Too often "bad guys" in a film are discarded like trash. Cinema hero's kill without remorse or grief. Computer games splatter blood and add up points with each death. The occasional television series grabs at ratings with a dramatic death scene as the season ends. There is nothing normal about death anymore. The poignant portrayals exist, but are few and far in between.
When my father died at home we followed the standard protocol; call the doctor for the pronouncement, and the funeral home to come get the body. I made sure we waited before calling the funeral home. I wanted to be with my dad, I wanted to be with his body. His body journeyed 67 years on earth. It carried his soul day in and day out. His hands, his brain, his heart; they worked to give me and my family life. How could we just turn away so the bed could be emptied and our discomfort lifted. For many, the time of death is "too hard" to see, "too hard" to bare. So they avoid or turn away.
After the body is taken, the room cleaned, and soon the funeral ends. Life will snap back into place. No one at the grocery store will know what is in your heart. No one at work will see your sadness. No one will ask you to give voice to the words you haven't found yet.
Death opens a precious door to honor life, to honor ourselves, to call upon the presence of The Sacred. Don't let that door close if it has opened for you.
Do you have an experience with Death you'd like to share?
Excerpt from Return to the Sacred.
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