The Difference Between Love and Loving

It is hard to admit but love and loving are not the same thing, and most of us are naturally good at "love" but struggle more with "loving." To love someone is to feel that deep connection, affection, and even sense of completion with someone. We can love friends, family, lovers, coworkers, pets and more. Love is an inexplicable feeling that implies a quality of connection and enduring devotion, though not implicitly exclusively. For example, you might say, "I don't always like them, but I'll love my family no matter what and for the rest of my days." Or you might say, "I haven't spoken to my best friend from high school in ten years, but I still love her." Some unfortunate times, we realize that we love our spouse, but may never really like them again.

Loving on the other hand is the active expression of love-rooted qualities in a relationship. People love others and can be cruel, critical, or jealous - but when you are being loving, then there is no room for such actions or feelings. To be loving requires no psychotherapy nor workshops or CDs. Being loving is simple and we all know what it means. Children are loving, pets are loving, people falling in love are loving, a parent to a newborn is usually loving - the rest of us... well...

To be loving is to be kind, forgiving, non-judgmental, accepting, affirming, respecting, proactive, and open. You might make it your task once a week, or even for one week to keep the idea and practice of being loving top of mind. Write a reminder on recipe cards and place them everywhere: Are you being loving with your thoughts? Are you being loving with your attitudes? Are you being loving to those you care about, and what about strangers? Are your decisions and communications loving? Let "loving" be your meditation, your prayer, intent, goal and mantra for one week and see how it changes your perspectives.

 

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Comments

[TartandSoul]

01:58 PM on 07/08/2010

A fan-tab-ulous book called "Love, An Inner Connection" suggests love isn't about compatibility or checklists of commonalities. Love is rooted in an inexplicable bond between two people. And relationship isn't about "rules," rather it requires lovers to endure the usual pattern of relationship - which includes separation and withdrawal as much as it includes union and intimacy.

The challenge is to chuck your ego, retreat when your partner is showing his or hers, and endure the difficult moments on your way toward union. I've never read, heard or seen ANYTHING that makes more sense about love than this book.

Check out my blog post, "Love, An Inner Connection" and see what you think: http://tartandsoul.com/2009/10/12/love-an-inner-connection/

Thanks for a great article!

[Alal]

05:27 PM on 07/07/2010

Thanks for this beautiful article. I have become more aware of this in the last year, and I work at being more conscious in applying "loving". Took me a long time to even be open to this concept. It can be a very freeing experience because you don't have to beg, plead, control, manipulate or intimidate others into changing for you. All can be as they are meant to be in the moment.