Yesterday, Democrats in Georgia announced a proposed ban on vasectomies, as a response to the state Republicans' efforts to limit abortion rights. They argued that, if the state had the right to control women's sexual health rights in the "interest" of the rights of unborn children, men should be placed under the same limits.
It was a clever point, to be sure, but I believe that, in light of the national attack on women's reproductive rights, did not go far enough. With Virginia seeking to force vaginal probes on its women and the nation-at-large at war over birth control, it has become clear that every drip of potential life is now legally sacred, and so our next logical step has to be to ban male masturbation.
After all, if contraception catches that life-giving discharge, denying the millions of potential little babies in its stream a chance at conception, isn't it just as bad to release by one's self? And in fact, if, as certain organizations insist, it should only be summoned from its testicular dwelling during acts of true and mutual love, isn't self-love a worse offense than sex?
But here's where it gets tricky. Unfortunately, given the sheer number of heathens now living in America (just as Rick "Satan is coming" Santorum predicted, of course), it'd be hard to live by the honor system on this one. Aside from everyone's grossest frat brother, few people come out and admit it each time they administer self-pleasure. So, just as Virginia is proposing, the state will have to take measures into its own hands.
Now that we've cleared a certain threshold in which probing the most intimate areas can be state-mandated, it should present no legal problem at all to require the urethral probing of adult men. While socks can be hidden and tissues flushed, it would be hard to hide the traces of sperm in the inner tubing leading to the tip of the penis. And to be sure that not a single life is wasted, inserting a probe inside the penis seems like a small sacrifice.
Indeed, we are at a crucial time for the Pro-Life movement. The same tired, one-side propositions aren't enough to gain public support or, most critically, save every possible human life; there are 20 to 150 million sperm in each millimeter of semen, making every stroke a genocide. No, if we're going to be serious about saving every single microscope bead of baby aspiration, we must ban masturbation.
And yes, starring in your own political advertisements counts.
Yes I agree. They can take care of themselves for a change.
Women's reproductive rights are rights and should be protected by law.
I will never understand the contradictions, hypocricy, and fear of science so prevelant in the republican party: small goverment unless its comes to women's health care, simultaneously anti-choice and anti-contraception, life begins before the fetus is viable, "pro-life" and anit-social-safety-net. Rebublicans continue to try to drag us back to the dark ages.
Women's menstruation needs to be made illegal!
Every month when a woman shed's her uterine lining, an unfertilized egg is lost!!
A woman menstruates from around age 13 to around age 60. That's potentially 564 potential babies KILLED. Possibly more if she double ovulates!
Over 1,200,000,000 potential babies are aborted EVERY year by these women. This is a crisis.
These women must remain pregnant and stop KILLING their potential babies every month! It's sickening!
Either we will go the entire distance with these sex--reproductive laws or we will have sinners getting away with stuff. We could go back to the dunking-stools or flogging again ....just .like the old days that the teaparty people dress and long for. How about bringing back the " red letter" "A" again. The debates have become sessions that remind one of the fight scenes from the movie "Gladiator." They cheer executions, boo the Golden Rule. and join in with lusty approval when people die from lack of healthcare.