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Joseph A. Palermo

Joseph A. Palermo

Posted: October 29, 2008 06:33 PM

A Purely Fictional Scenario


Below is a purely fictional scenario for the rigging of the upcoming election we face next week and its aftermath:

Busloads of khaki and polo-shirted white guys descend into swing districts and disrupt the voting process and polling places just like Tom DeLay's polo-shirted thugs did in 2000 when they bullied the hapless volunteers who were trying to recount the votes in Dade County, Florida. These legions of privileged white vigilantes seemingly come from nowhere (but are really from everywhere) armed with "McCain-Palin" signs and begin early in the morning of November 4th chanting outside polling places and intimidating would-be voters in Democratic areas, especially new voters, blacks, and other minorities. They'll confront ACORN workers and Obama's Get-Out-the-Vote volunteers and spit at them and frighten them and call them "Communists!" and "Wealth Redistributors!" The disruptions are so widespread local law enforcement can't do anything about it and the federal government is nowhere to be found.

Claiming that Obama voters are committing "voter fraud" on a "massive scale" these legions of angry white men scream so loudly and are so bellicose and potentially violent local television news crews cannot help but put them on the air. Quickly their "concerns" about the "fairness" of the election hit the Right-wing echo chamber and are amplified by Fox News, the Drudge Report, and talk radio. ABC and the rest of the networks cannot resist covering the Republican-created controversy: "Are Obama partisans from ACORN stealing the election?" Voices of reason are drowned out in the ear-splitting din of aggressive white male angst. The media frame their vigilantism as if it were a legitimate "revolt" with legitimate "issues" but it is designed solely to threaten Democratic voters and spread chaos. Voters are challenged and photo identification is demanded. Tens of thousands of blacks, Latinos, and young people discover only upon arriving at the polling places that they have been purged from the voter rolls due to arcane tricks and technicalities. The "Polo-Shirts" march in a disciplined cadence around polling places making sure that anyone barred from voting will be barred for good. Scuffles and fistfights break out that are loudly blamed on black people and ACORN workers.

Twelve hours earlier, on the evening of November 3rd, and with the discipline of a military special operation, dozens of strange unmarked planes fly into small regional airports and into private landing fields inside swing districts. Highly trained professionals from an ultra-secret personnel detail tucked deep inside the Department of Homeland Security and answerable only to Dick Cheney swing into action. These federal agents, who comprise a special unit called the "Rapid Domestic Response Team" (RDRT) and comprised of many members from privatized outfits like Blackwater and Dyncorps, wearing business suits and dark glasses, with transmitters in their ears, fan out to the targeted districts and precincts with military efficiency. The agents are armed with duplicate ballot boxes stuffed with the exact number of "ballots" to win each district by a credibly narrow margin. These ballot boxes are also tailored to correspond perfectly with each county's distinct vote counting system complete with the appropriate forged signatures and documentation. They also possess high-tech computer equipment provided by the Republican-controlled companies that run the electronic voting machines. The technology allows them to change the electronic vote tally with a few punches on the keyboard of their laptops. They professionally set in motion the stunning results of the election of 2008: A very narrow Electoral College victory for the Republican ticket of John McCain and Sarah Palin.

It Can't Happen Here

John McCain and Sarah Palin take their oaths of office. Within days of giving his inaugural address, President McCain's skin cancer returns, incapacitating him for a time while he undergoes medical treatment. Vice President Palin assumes the president's duties consistent with the 25th Amendment to the Constitution. While President Palin is in power, it is learned that Al Qaeda terrorists have acquired a suit case nuclear weapon from a rogue element of Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI).

President Palin does not "blink."

She orders air strikes against areas of Pakistan where U.S. intelligence believes the transfer of the weapon took place. Suddenly, a U.S. military installation in Iraq is blown to bits by a small atomic device widely believed to be the weapon the CIA had feared fell into Al Qaeda's hands.

President Palin again does not "blink."

She demands the nuclear codes and the "football." She brings Pastor Thomas Muthee and some of the Wasilla Assembly of God members with her into the "bunker" and begins to pray, trancelike, as is her custom. Revelations come to her that she has been thrust into this powerful position because it is God's will. And if she does not "blink" and launches a good portion of the American nuclear arsenal in the direction of the infidels in the Middle East Jesus Christ himself will return. President Palin serenely understands now that her power to destroy the world is part of God's plan. Because of her goodness and righteousness she is integral to bringing about the Second Coming, which leads her to launch more nuclear missiles in the direction of the "terrorists."

And we all live happily ever after.

Below is a purely fictional scenario for the rigging of the upcoming election we face next week and its aftermath: Busloads of khaki and polo-shirted white guys descend into swing districts and disru...
Below is a purely fictional scenario for the rigging of the upcoming election we face next week and its aftermath: Busloads of khaki and polo-shirted white guys descend into swing districts and disru...
 
 
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03:00 AM on 11/03/2008
Thanks a lot, Joey. At this writing it's 3am on the morning of Nov 3rd, and I just got done with my show. I had Stan on in the hopes that he could talk me "Off the ledge", I'm so worried about what chicanery these
people have in mind. Now after reading this, how in the hell am I going to be able to get to sleep?
Thanks, buddy. Thanks a lot.
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Joseph A. Palermo
Author/Historian
04:16 PM on 10/31/2008
Wow! I should try my hand at creative writing more often given these excellent responses from all. I think the people who equate ACORN's registration snafus with the Voter Suppression activities of the Republican Party in 2000 and in 2004 are really out to lunch. You can't vote unless your name is on the official registration forms held by the Secretaries of States. However, if you provide only one voting machine for an entire college (as the Republican Bush-Cheney hack Kenneth Blackwell did in 2004 in Ohio), or if you purge hundreds of thousands of people who are eligible to vote off the rolls (as the Republican Bush-Cheney hack Katherine Harris did in 2000 in Florida), now that's an affront on Democracy. Equating the two is false, no matter how many times Lou Dobbs and Sean Hannity do it -- they're wrong. History has shown that we just endured two rigged elections in favor of the Far Right -- reminds me of Weimar Germany or post WWI Italy -- this is what they do -- intimidation and official malfeasance -- Read Greg Palast and Mark Crispin Miller and RFK Jr.'s latest , and then come back to me and we'll have a dialogue. Part of the problem with the Right is they don't care about facts.
04:21 PM on 10/30/2008
Sounds like your laying the groundwork??
03:11 PM on 10/30/2008
This would make for an excellent episode of the Twilight Zone, provided it doesn't actually come to pass.
02:01 PM on 10/30/2008
I had a dream just like that the other night. Except it was ACORN who was stuffing the ballots and no one was doing anything about it.
When voting officials would ask for a person to show identification, no one would produce one, even though one is required to have one. Then the courts said that it was ok to vote without an ID.
Then the media started reporting in favor on one candidate. The media was doing everything it could to discredit the opposing candidate and if anyone dare question their Democratic candidate, they would be crucified along with people who dare question them.
Once their Saviour was elected, they started to silence all the voices on the radio and faces on television that exposed them for what they were, socialist.
Unfortunately the dream still continues, I just cant seem to wake up from this nightmare.
02:25 PM on 10/30/2008
Yo, scout! Wake up! *shake shake*

Listen, scout, let me ask you a question. Some people say that ACORN's registration problems were due to their hiring people who cheated them by scribbling made-up stuff on the registration sheets, with no plans in the works to steal the election. But let's suppose, for the sake of discussion, that ACORN has thousands and thousands of highly disciplined people, trained in camps somewhere, none of whom has squealed to the Feds or the police, ready to go into swing states and cast votes in the name of fake people whose names they have previously put on voter rolls. This would make them the largest and best organized conspiracy in the history of the world. And they are doing this on community organizer money.

OK, so these are super-geniuses of conspiracy, way beyond the resources and capabilities of SPECTRE and THRUSH and KAOS. Now what would they then do in the fake-registration stage? Obviously they would use real-sounding names at reasonable-appearing addresses. But then why does it work out that some of these fake names belonged to football players and Disney characters? And why did ACORN turn these names in and flag the sheets to call the officials' attention to them? Doesn't this sort of undercut the whole conspiracy? Is this the sort of thing that SPECTRE would do?

In fact, doesn't this sort of explode the whole super-conspiracy idea? Feeling better, now, scout? More awake? :-)
02:46 PM on 10/30/2008
The non-response response.
02:54 PM on 10/30/2008
I guess the reason they used those names was maybe they were burned out and couldn't think of anymore realistic sounding ones.
I just think its funny how its only the Republicans that want to destroy everything and its the Democrats that want to live in peace and get along with everyone, until they disagree with them then the other person doesnt know what they are talking about. Thanks for waking me up.
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Kremfresch
02:26 PM on 10/30/2008
I suppose it's a widespread "Democratic Conspirancy" that the only actual arrests involving voter Fraud this year were of republicans?
12:52 PM on 10/30/2008
Hey, wait a minute! There are plenty of khaki and polo-shirted white Democrats who are totally behind Barack Obama! I am married to one, who has donated time and money; going door-to-door, etc! OBAMA '08!!
(McCain/Palin = Old/Clueless)
VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
justoverit333
make art not war
01:03 PM on 10/30/2008
Yup. Scary thought but Cheney is totally capable
of it.
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Social Construct
Go left, young man.
12:41 PM on 10/30/2008
It must be ingrained deep into the American psyche that we, as political animals, see mainly in the stark tones of black and white (in the current political atmosphere; litterally!). Although the post is titled as fiction, I am inclined to wonder about its all to real appeal. Have we become so polarized that the "other" side is always labled as some less than human, bent on the destruction of all that is America, far left/far right goon squad? On the other hand, as a paranoid conspiracy theorist myself, well done, sir!
Another comment brought to you by the moral relativist society.
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feo
huh?
12:34 PM on 10/30/2008
President Palin does not "blink."
Was that a typo for "think?"
12:54 PM on 10/30/2008
No...she doesn't blink or think...but she does ;-) "wink"
12:28 PM on 10/30/2008
OH MY GOD-- I had a nightmare EXACTLY like this a week after Palin was nominated for veep. I just had horrible flashbacks... I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat and had to check the date on my phone, computer, and desktop calendar to make sure that I had actually been dreaming.

I beg of you, if you see this happening, don't be afraid to tell them to go home. Measure out the distance from the polling place and call the police-- most every state has laws about campaigning near polling places, and this includes passive campaigning (a button on your collar, etc.). If they spit on you or hassle you in any way shape or form, that CAN be considered harassment to assault AND even more seriously impeding someone who is trying to vote. That, my friends, is a federal offense-- or something close to it.

People sat back and took it the last time around because they were scared, and rightfully so, but we are all sick of fear now-- don't let fear rule you at the polls or anywhere near them on election day.

Obama/Biden '08!
12:27 PM on 10/30/2008
Well, the only thing I can say is Obama better not act like Gore and concede. I wouldn't concede anything, I would have folks sitting right there while they counted every last one of whatever kinda mess they have at these voting booths...
12:20 PM on 10/30/2008
Palin / Plumber 2012 !!!
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RumiSouth
Caerbannog!
12:10 PM on 10/30/2008
The election theft you describe would require something the GOP has not shown us anytime recently: discipline.
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Dhammi
Surprise me to the very brink of tears!
11:57 AM on 10/30/2008
And of course all these theoretic khaki and polo-shirted white guys would tell you they are Christians. Not in my book. They would be classified as anything but. Just the words President Palin gives me the shivers. I will be so glad when November 4th is over and Obama is safely headed for the White House....can hardly wait!
11:21 AM on 10/30/2008
Wow! That thought scares the living sh** out of me!
11:07 AM on 10/30/2008
A GREAT article ,and you maybe closer to the truth than you think ,as I have heard about people requesting absentee ballots from OTHER states where they used to live and have FAMILY IN ,voteing IN TWO STATES.One guy told my husband he did so because the republican reps in Texas told him he could vote in North Carolina AND Texas ,even tho the guy has lived and works in Texas for 15 years !The guy is a Republican ...so your "fictional scenario " could turn out to be VERY VERY REAL.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
23000Days
Life: Tragedy for feelers, Comedy for thinkers.
01:46 PM on 10/30/2008
Do your civic duty and report this.