Fred Thompson: The Sequel

Fred Thompson finally joined the Republican presidential debates. He stood stoic and detached, acting "presidential," while shining with Reaganesque optimism: The economy is booming, people need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, (even if they don't have boots), there's money to be made, America's the best!, we must stop "socialized" health care, the war in Iraq is being won, I won't tax you like the Democrats will, and blah, blah.

He plays coy and acts like General Dwight Eisenhower being begged to lead his party due to his massive personal accomplishments. But what exactly are Fred Thompson's accomplishments?

He was a pin-striped smarmy lobbyist for years working the same meat market as good ol' Jack Abramoff. He even lobbied for groups (for the right price) that weren't exaclty "conservative" about anything.

He leveraged his way into the Senate by greasing the wheels of governance through his lobbying schmoozing. Once in the Senate he was known for being a lazy legislator but an energetic pursuer of poon.

He left the Senate to focus on his budding acting career. Why can't he just continue to play that gruff persona on TV instead of pretending to be Gary Cooper out on the stump? At least if we see Thompson on TV we can lunge for the remote.

Thompson is a one-dimensional actor with an acting palette a team of scientists who are still trying to discover with the latest electron microscope. But he is the best right-wing Hollywood Republican presidential candidate in his price range. His agent promises he'll please, the riders will be minimal, and he'll show up on time.

Ever since Ronald Reagan started this madness by lowering the bar of American politics to enable mediocre thespians to run for high office we have suffered our share of Republican scenery munchers.

Sonny Bono became a Congressional representative. Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor of California. And even the talentless drip who played "Gopher" on The Loveboat held a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives from Iowa.

Now Fred Thompson wants to get into the act. His "qualifications" amount to little more than being able to emote on demand and read a mean teleprompter. He's not an "empty suit," but a desiccated, mummified version of 1950s Man. John Wayne meets Charlton Heston. "Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty apes!"

His ideas about blockading Iran while continuing to occupy Iraq make him the scariest Republican presidential aspirant to come out of the woodwork since the day Rudy Giuliani announced his candidacy.

We the people have no choice: It is time to draft Leonard Nimoy.

Comments

[gettysburg]

This guy is as slimy as Romney and as detached and clueless as Bush. As a liberal Democrat, I get on my hands and knees every night asking God to allow the GOP the stupidity to nominate this clown for President. Him against Hillary or Obama would be a massacre. We can only hope.

[nomobull]

FRED THOMPSON BETTER THAN TYLENOL PM ZZZZZZZZZZZ

[MsLiz]

Check out Fred on early Roseanne reruns; he played her boss at the factory. He and RA did not get along. If you are lucky, you will see George Clooney as a co-worker. Too bad I don't have the skills to make a YouTube clip out of that.

BTW, young blogger, there was another actor named Sen. George Murphy before RR.

[johannesrolf]

the gross disparity of incomes between the top 1% and the rest of us can be addressed by returning to a top income tax rate of 90%. a rate this country has had before, during wartime, and after WW2.

[cyberhawk]

Even though Thompson acts like a republican I think he is a democrat.He belittles the democrats for wanting to do something for the people of this country.I would like to here what he says about these stats. 26% of the money made in the US is made by the top 1% of the wealthiest Americans.The bottom 50% of americans make 10% of the available money made in America.This is a big injustice in our economy and should be dealt with by Thompson.If he knew how the rich steal the hopes and dreams from the poor he would not be so hard on socialized medicine.I bet he has never seen poverty knocking on his door.How will we fix all these problems with a president like thompson.America we are out of balance.

[OrvilleHLarson]

"K Street Fred" Thompson's no more fit to be president than Boss Hogg. He's a lying shyster. He's owned by every big interest in town. He's a tool of the Israel lobby.

As an "actor," he's an insult to the thespian arts. Like Chuck Norris, Thompson can't act his way out of a piss-soaked paper bag.

[zendem1]

Maybe the black box under his suit jacket malfunctioned due to close proximity to airport.

[WeepingWillow]

"John Wayne meets Charlton Heston. "Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty apes!" "
Hey, if he wants the backing of the "serious" conservatives, he shouldn't do the Charlton Heston, because those apes were EVOLVED!

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

Thompson gets the role on L&O to provide a little gravitas -- and a big gimmick.

Thompson now running for Preznit on the basis of... being an ex-Senator who landed a gimmick gig.

Sounds like his running for Preznit is yet another gimmick gig.

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

"Fred Thompson" and "emote" in the same sentence. Now THAT's funny.

[AnRoistac]

Whaddya mean? He runs the entire emotional gamut, from A to a.

[meandmagoo]

The Republicans need to feel as if their mythical hero,Ronnie Ray gun,is being channeled by Freddo,in order to assuage the guilt that comes with electing the nation's first retarded president.

[dadw5boys]

I HAVE NO IDEAS FOR THE FUTURE!
NEWT WILL RUN EVERYTHING FROM PLAM BEACH.
VOTE FOR ME!
Fred Thompson

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

You've got fan.

[SamThornton]

You'd think Hollywood could come up with a more convincing livewire for President than Fred Thompson.

Even with makeup, the guy looks like he's got one foot in the grave and the other in the drool ward at the local rest home.

It seemed like a major effort for him to remember a question all the way through his response [sic]. Which is OK if you don't need no stinking memory, like some we might name.

Wonder how many little Mitt Romney's can dance on the bald spot of this pinhead?

[BlackJAC]

Why do the Republicans keep holding up Reagan as their ideal when Reagan was a former Hollyweirdo union boss who never served in the military, mistook playing a soldier in a movie for actual military service, Cut & Ran from and negotiated with terrorists rather than Fighting Them Over There and Putting Them Out Of Business, sabotaged the one time live ordnance would actually be used against terrorists, accepted Saddam's bogus apology for murdering Americans, called Rudy Giuliani "crazy," hired Osama bin Laden, gave amnesty to illegal immigrants, and generally pandered to everyone's self-esteem?

[Cranbot]

He is Cheney's puppet. Made a deal to be a figurehead so Cheney can continue to pull the strings.

Don't think so? Look who's on his advisory staff - Liz Cheney.

[demojack]

He was also head of Scotter Libby's legal fund raising team and lobbied for that criminal's pardon.