We all know about the War on Hanukkah. And last year I discussed the War on White Christmas. But it is increasingly clear that the assault on the Christmas tradition by those who oppose action on global warming goes far beyond the inevitable reduction in late December snowfall we will face when the country is 10°F warmer (or more) by century's end.
The question of the season is -- what will happen to Santa Claus when the Arctic is ice-free?
On our current path, this could happen as early as 2013 according to researchers at the Naval Postgraduate School and no doubt will happen before 2030.
Where will we tell kids that Santa lives? Some sort of North Pole Atlantis? But he can't live under the water, since much of the Arctic will still ice over by December, though a few feet of ice can't support a huge house and a factory and an elf-dormitory. Kids are smarter than that. If only adults were smarter....
Probably the best choice is to ship him off to the South Pole (with Superman's Fortress of Solitude). Indeed the fact that Santa lives in the North Pole is no doubt a residue of our general Northern-hemisphere-centric worldview. How ironic would it be to outsource Santa to the Southern hemisphere. Not the Antarctic Peninsula or West Antarctic ice sheet, of course, since those may not last the century -- we don't want to keep moving him! -- but much of the East Antarctic ice sheet will probably hopefully be around for centuries, and, in any case, Antarctica is a real continent, so even when the ice is gone, Santa can still have his whole operation above water.
Of course, if we ruin the Christmas tradition with our short-sighted inability to develop sane greenhouse gas policies, Santa may just decide all of us are too "naughty" to deserve his largess.
I also wonder what future generations will think about all those old Christmas movies with Santa based at the North Pole. Probably the same thing they think about all those epic stories of brave explorers struggling to get to the North Pole. More tall tales from adults, no doubt -- at least until they are old enough to understand the sad truth.
If we don't change course soon, we won't just transform the climate -- we will transform our culture, from one of abundance to one of scarcity -- and that has profound implications for all of humanity, including our native optimism and our generous, gift-giving nature. 'Tis the season to say: 'Tis time to act!
People made it up out of
a corruption of the Roman "saturnalia" holiday.
Now, it's sentimental and commercial but zippo to do with being a real Christian.
It's time to research history and get an education instead of wallowing in fake religio-commercial bullsh*t.
There's more than twice the amount of humans on the planet now in 2007 as there was in 1960, and people are arguing whether its SUVs or eating meat that are the culprits? The culprit is us and our unwillingness to limit our own numbers! And to boot, these religious nuts want women to have kids against their will? Absolutely bonkers!
At this point, I say the US should follow the Chinese example: one child only. Pssst: don't tell the fascists that China's new prosperity and astounding economic growth is largely in part to smaller families with fewer expenses. Children ARE EXPENSIVE--so much so that even White House resident Bush won't pay for their healthcare, thus validating every abortion ever done for economic reasons.
This is supposed to be a happy time year when family and friends get together and celebrate.
Instead, we get bullshit about global warming and how our petty commercialism is going to melt away the home of Santa and his elves.
"Man made" global warming is a myth and a hoax. Sure the earth is warming (maybe). It has warmed and cooled since the beginging of time. My SUV is not making it happen. Bigger government and higher taxes are not going to change it either. It will change when the earth decides it's time to change and not a minute sooner.
Get over yourselves Libs, you can't change the climate.
randomabsurdities.wordpress.com
How is your Mother? Send her my best wishes for the New Year.
Personally, if it were up to me, Santa would go out of business, because I will never have children, who would inevitably inherit such a mess of an environment -- overpopulated, polluted, exploited, basically destroyed -- that we are leaving them.
There is a reason for the season. If you're gonna make political hey out of Christmas, at least give Jesus an honorable mention.
CHANNELING YOUR INNER LEMMING
The most interesting thing to me about the conservative ruling faction is their de facto theory of governance:
If you don't acknowledge the cause and ignore the effect you can get away with making billions by the time it all probably won't catch up with you.
While we practice The Keep O'Reilly in Christmas form of negligience annually this is what is happening:
1. Global Warming. Those reindeer will soon be fronting a surfboard.
2. The next 9/11 is ticking unchecked.
3. The dollar is losing value as I type. This is of little concern to Big Oil who pragmatically are profiteering double digit billions to cover the differential of them being only worth single digits on the world market. And in their offshore personal accounts.
4. The AVERAGE CEO Christams bonus was over $660,000. That's for one person.
If you add up the number of corporate pink slips we 've been reading about, it proabably adds up to 660,000 people receiving zero dollars sometime real soon.
5. The average Republican presidential candidate in a country in as bad shape as we now are is not debating how safe, broke or unhealthy we are.
He's being litmus tested about abortion, evolution, and gay marraige.
So this is what you need to ask yourself:
Unless you are a gay pregnant monkey (and unhappy about being that way) and you aren't at all worried about why Bin laden is still making infomercials 7 years on, where that 300 percent increase in the cost of filling up at the pump is actually going, what happens if your county floods, or why a cup of coffee now costs $9.00 American dollars in Paris, what possible reason could you have to vote for a Republican candidate.
This question would be a lot less satirical if I hadn't just read that an anti-gay marriage amendment, yet agin, hadn't been put on the ELECTION ballot, of where else, Florida.
Isn't the definition of insanity repeating something that got you irrationally nowhere before, or what?
gala
Thus, they will enjoy a longer lifespan, be able to grow their own fresh fruits & vegetables and perhaps get a round of golf in on a balmy afternoon at the North Pole.
Santa can convert to Hummers, and Rudolpp & his partners can be freed to do whatever is is that reindeer do, rather than being "slave-labored" & forced to drag heavy sleds across rugged, frozen terrain.