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Joseph Ward III

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Gays Are Christians, Too

Posted: 08/ 4/2011 6:11 pm

Two of the identities I hold dear to my heart are my faith and my orientation. As a child, I wondered if I could lead a "normal" life as a gay Christian. My family and I attended a Baptist church in eastern New Mexico, and I had numerous experiences within the church that shaped my core values: love for family and neighbors, a yearning for strong community, and a calling to pursue justice and equity. These values have helped me troubleshoot the most difficult times in my life and have helped foster my sense of purpose. They are the same values that give me strength to understand I will never need to choose between my faith and orientation, even though there are some who think I should.

I recently came across a story of a young Zimbabwean named Carlos Mpofu. Like myself, he is a gay Christian; he comes from a middle-class family, where he is the middle child of three; and, in his community, he also found a sense of purpose through faith.

"In the church I was given a position as a junior youth leader, leading 250 kids between 8 and 15," he said. "I became a very prominent Sunday school teacher ... It was a hectic three years but the best I ever had in my life."

Carlos struggled to come out to his family and friends but eventually found a way to make the relationships tolerable. Though he was afraid to go to school where students hurt and picked on him and other gay and lesbian students, his experience in the church was different.

"I was precocious and very intelligent. I challenged the pastors and directors of the church ... My [identity] was not [known, or] an issue there." The congregants accepted Carlos because of his dedication to his faith; the pastor promoted him and offered him two jobs for the same reason; and the church continued to provide him a medium to truly live out his purpose.

But then, something changed.

A mother of one of his students suspected Carlos was gay, and immediately told the pastor she had a problem with him around her son. "She was afraid I would molest him, or I already had," Carlos said. The pastor didn't believe her and dismissed her accusations because of his experiences working with and knowing the solid character of the Sunday school teacher. But that moment triggered something. Whispers began to spread amongst the congregation. Whispers that said, despite Carlos' character, a man "suspected" of being gay should not be welcomed in the church. Carlos' pastor did not know he was gay, but when he heard these things and "confirmed" that Carlos dated men, he fired him on the spot.

"They 'preaccused' me of things they thought I would do to school kids -- molest them or corrupt them. They said they had to fire me to prevent that. I lost both jobs within 10 minutes, and all my positions within the church."

Carlos' life took a downward spiral after that. Because he lost his job, conflict ignited between him and his family. He developed animosity toward the church that had never existed before.

"I always want to tell people, 'Don't expect sympathy from the church if you are gay,'" he said. Carlos attempted suicide for a month. He struggled with his family until he was chased out of the house. He became a heavy drinker and became promiscuous, "leading a very dangerous life." He was frequently beaten up because of the social activism he tried to pursue after being fired. And in 2002, Carlos died.

As I read his story, my heart pounded thinking about how some Christians can treat other Christians. Like many, I don't attend services as often as I would like, but my experiences within the Christian framework have inspired me to believe we should be in community with each other regardless of orientation or faith. The church is not a vehicle to cast out or destroy others; it is an environment that should seek justice, equity and welcome all persons into the sanctuary.

My recent experiences in the church have matched this reality where an individual's character is defined by their heart and mind, instead of assumptions based on fear or misinformation about their orientation. In Zimbabwe, where the Christian church is heavily a part of the local culture and has a decisive voice and influence in local politics and the economy, this becomes particularly critical.

As Carlos' story shows us, when Christians reject gay or lesbian Christians, the consequences can be severe. It can lead to unemployment in struggling economies or trigger a dangerous downward spiral that leaves many in isolation and defeat. Yet, at the same time, Carlos story shows us how the same church or congregation can also give hope and propel individuals into a future with the potential for endless opportunity.

What if our collective Christian identity were able to achieve this? This situation so clearly demonstrates the Christian community at its best and worst. But most importantly, it shows the potential within all of us to love without labeling or casting others out for impractical reasons. The lines that divide Christians around this issue are artificially constructed and dangerous. We all have the potential to welcome everyone in faith, but what will it take to get there?

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rsttho557949
What is Job's Crucible?
07:42 PM on 09/19/2011
Life is a crucible. I do hope that the typical gay person keeps his faith in Jesus, be low profile about his orientation (inflaming others is not the way to go) and to get that "civil union" so that the immorality issue can be appeal to the hearts of God and men. I do believe that Jesus will be the Final Judge when all is aid and done, and gay or straight, NO ONE enters heaven unless the Blood of Jesus is on his/hers/ soul. I have observed because the Bible gives its position about homosexuality, contrarians from Brand X and Brand Y religions approach the frustrated gay person with their "social gospels" of "unconditional love", "unity" and "come just as you are". Often in those religions, Jesus is left out because He is a reminder of uncompromising Christian beliefs. These religions also teach that there are alternative roads to heaven since-they teach- the gay person would be excluded because of his sexual orientation. Blessed the gay person that withstands persecution and doesn't reject Jesus because his friends anger! As it is written, he who endures to the end will be saved and enter Heaven (Mark 13; 13). One also should really look at Matthew 10:34 till then end of the chapter. Point, you might be gay, but do not put that in front of Jesus! Again, this life is a Crucible and the one who endures to the end will get the crown of life!
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Doug Whitinger
Question everything
12:27 PM on 08/09/2011
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." I can quote really old books, too. I can even claim to live by the lessons taught within, and disparage everyone else for not doing the same. Or not doing the same good enough.
12:57 PM on 08/09/2011
In the grand scheme of human literary output, that book is very, very new.

If you are comparing Dickens' morality as a form to live by, then his outlook has some basis in the texts you jest at.
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Doug Whitinger
Question everything
01:04 PM on 08/09/2011
If I did choose to live by the words of Dickens, they would be his words and not those of the characters in his book. Why then, do so many people insist on living by the "Word of Jesus Christ" as written by man? Man is infallible and will more often than not make a mistake.
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Doug Whitinger
Question everything
01:08 PM on 08/09/2011
Oops... "Man ISN'T infallible." I believe I made my own point.
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Watching rock grow
It's a practice in patience
08:17 AM on 08/09/2011
There is no excuse in denying fellowship of Christ to anyone Jesus’ 2nd great commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself Matthew 22:39.

With respect to marriage, consider:

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.†Genesis 2:24 is clearly an addendum from a later time, because Adam did not have a father or mother, it cannot be original to the story.

Then in Mark 5:2-10 it is clear that marriage from the beginning was between a man and woman, but humanity corrupted it introducing it to adultery, and polygamy. God did not stop marriage between a man and a woman, but adapted himself to tolerate the choices humanity made regarding his plan. Just the Christian culture should tolerate the innovation of marriage equality between homosexuals.

This whole issue is as Jesus diagnosed it first, caused by hardness of heart.
01:34 PM on 08/09/2011
This is not about marriage. This is about love and acceptance and a church that is supposed to be a Christian institution denying the words and work of Yeshua to whom they are supposedly dedicated.

When did Yeshua ever turn his back on anyone? When did he say that we should judge others with prejudice? When did he walk away from anyone in need? When did he preach that others should do any of these things?
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Watching rock grow
It's a practice in patience
04:30 PM on 08/09/2011
No, this is not about marriage is it. Where do I speak of prejudice, exclusion, and denying love to anyone?

When did Yeshua ever turn his back on anyone? He did turned his back on the Pharisees’ and Sadducees. He even called them goats that would face his judgment one day and be sent to the left. There are others Yeshua as God, turned his back on the Pharaoh of the Exodus, King Saul, Cain, and while dying on the cross even his self.

When did he…need? Matthew 19:16-26 gives one example where he puts such a stumbling block that the young ruler walks away knowing he has fallen short of the glory of God.

The Sermon on the Mount is all you need Tanzania for your other answers. Enjoy the read, please.
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Toutlaguerre
eyes tell the story
07:13 PM on 08/08/2011
This article is more about discrimination and less about gays being christian. It tells a sad story of a young man who had good qualities and intentions and was dealt a harsh blow because it was suspected and later proven that he was gay. The import of the article perhaps is to show that christians must find a better way to treat someone they don't think "qualifies" as a christian. I was sincerely hoping that it would address at least one principle in Jesus' teachings either for or against Christians being gay. Having said that the bible's stance against homosexuality is glaring. The sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was specifically homosexuality not hospitality. Those men clamoring outside of Lot's house were blinded because they wanted to have sex with the men inside. Lot even offered his daughters to them and they said no, we want the men. Were they asking for the men so that they could show them hospitality? I think not!! If you do research on the greek word porneia it covers all acts of immoral sexual conduct, prostitution is just one aspect. It's clear that gays have a fight on their hands to be fully accepted.
01:03 AM on 08/09/2011
Oh dear.

Ezekiel 16:49-50: “Look, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom; She and her daughter had pride, fullness of food, and abundance of idleness; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty and committed abomination before Me; therefore I took them away as I saw fit.â€

The decision to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah was made BEFORE the incident with the angels. Read Genesis18:16 to the end, where Abraham bargains with God not to destroy Sodom if any righteous people can be found. That's why the angels were sent, to see if there were any righteous people.

What the men of Sodom attempted to do with the angels was not homosexuality. They did not want to make love to them. They wanted to rape them. Standard practice then for humiliating or unmanning your enemies (perceived or otherwise). Rape is a crime of violence that can never be equated with a loving relationship.

You are right, however, that gays have a fight on their hands. It probably will not end until people stop twisting the words of the Bible to suit their own ends
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Toutlaguerre
eyes tell the story
09:55 AM on 08/09/2011
I agree with you on two points Patricia, 1)The decision to destroy Sodom was made before the incident with the angels. Genesis 18:20 shows this. For clarity, I highlighted that incident in response to an earlier comment that the sin was lack of hospitality of the angels. 2)Evidently the inhabitants' sins that caused the outcry mentioned in Genesis included pride, neglect of the poor and some detestable thing or abomination. Comments in Jude 7 included fornication and the unnatural use of the flesh among these things. Although raping those angels would have been a crime of violence AND also fornication ( which includes homosexuality), at best it was intent to rape as they did not get near these angels.Now some heterosexuals in loving relationships commit fornication, yet that does not make it right. However the attempt to rape the angels did in fact show that homosexuality was rampant. Even if this was a standard practice to unman your enemies perceived or otherwise, (although nowhere indicates these were perceived as enemies) it was part and parcel of the sins the people of the land engaged in. One cannot imagine that they were destroyed because of pride, intent to rape, neglect of the poor but God turned a blind eye to the rampant practice of homosexuality (perceived as unmanning of enemies or otherwise) which he says is detestable in Lev 18:22. Having said that, God is the final judge and he is a just God.
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ez duz it
οá½Îº ἔστιν θεός
07:06 AM on 08/09/2011
Genesis 19 condemns rape committed within a military context - not homosexuality.

What's Genesis 14-18 about?
The Jordan Valley city-states constantly warred for control of regional resources, setting the stage for Genesis 19.

What key strategy was used to attack ancient cities?
The book of Joshua and others recount scouts entering enemy towns to survey strategic weaknesses for the purpose of facilitating military assaults.

What was Lot’s error?
Lot was a foreigner residing in Sodom. He failed to allow the town elders to scrutinize his out-of-town visitors. Lot’s actions exposed the entire community to possible capture or military annihilation.

Who assaulted whom? Why?
“ALL the people, from every quarter†of the town of Sodom, men and women, young and old, demanded to “know†Lot’s visitors. They wanted to sexually brutalize these potentially threatening visitors. Why? Rape is a violent assertion of power designed to bring shame on Lot and deal with his unexamined interlopers.

Would this happen today?
Sure. Confronted with suspected foreign threats, male and female American soldiers attached electrodes to Iraqi prisoners’ genitals, stacked them unclad like cordwood forcing them to wear waste-soiled undergarments over their heads. Also, five New York police officers used a broomstick to rape Haitian-born Abner Louima.

Were the offenders homosexual?
No! The residents of Sodom, the American soldiers and police officers who sexually assaulted their prisoners were motivated by unbridled rage, fear and a desire to humiliate perceived foreign enemies by sexually brutalizing them.

--ez duz it ©2011
01:59 PM on 08/09/2011
It really is a shame that I can't fan you again.
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Toutlaguerre
eyes tell the story
12:23 AM on 08/17/2011
~ez- The statement "Your objection that Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 don’t condemn filial incest rests on the erroneous notion that the word, “זָכָר,†translated “mankind†doesn’t refer to a male descendent­." is an erroneous and at best very weak argument. I do admire your scholarly Hebrew references but quite frankly contrary to the norm it fails to strengthen your argument. Now if we get back to the discussion of the original article, it may be hard to swallow ez, but "homosexuality is not approved by the bible therefore gays cannot be true christians. I cor 6:9-11 which you so cleverly nullify in a previous comment indicates that gays would have to change their conduct to be acceptable. Polygamy was overlooked for a while until Jesus reinforced the original stance of one man to one woman, however homosexuality has always been condemned in both the Hebrew and Greek/Aramaic scriptures.IMHO the discrimination outlined in this article is wrong and unjust. I feel bad that Carlos met such an unnecessary death. My advice..leave God out of the issue if you are not willing to conform to his standards. I believe that it is wrong to water down God's word to glorify a lifestyle not approved by Him and mislead impressionable minds into thinking that they are righteous. But who am I? It is only He who rightly says, "I am that I am" that has authority to hold anyone accountable.

~Presumptuousness is the curse of activism~
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Coloradem
Christian, Gay, Democrat
12:16 PM on 08/08/2011
Poor is the person who allows their relationsip with their creator to be defined/denied/affirmed by another person.
12:02 PM on 08/08/2011
To me, a gay Christian man with a loving partner and 2 children, it's really as simple as this.

1) You are a Christian with enough sense to know that the intention of the Bible and Christianity is to promote love, tolerance, forgiveness, and equality (remember, God created us ALL in His image). Taken literally, the Bible is pretty crazy - think about how many times it's been translated to/from languages that don't even exist anymore. Hawaiian, for example, is an example of a language that when translated into English loses the original concept of what is trying to be conveyed. Imagine translating Hawaiian (a language in use today) into English then into Arabic, then into Japanese, then into Farsi.... You get the point.
2) You're not a Christian. You are a human being living in a world with other human beings. That world would clearly be a better place if all human beings respected, forgave, loved, and embraced the diversity of our little planet and each other. When we disagree, as we often do, we don't judge others because we're right and they're wrong. We try to learn from each others' life experiences and make our minds and our views a little more tolerant.
Is that so complicated? Am I Pollyanna?
Sending aloha to ALL of you.
12:17 AM on 08/08/2011
It seems what the author is talking about, overall, has nothing to do with religion. It is that he likes the communal aspects of what religion gives us in the context of our cultural heritage, etc. That is part of religion but it does not define belief.
04:13 PM on 08/08/2011
I would agree....you would think in an article about being a Christian, Christ would be mentioned at least once.
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ez duz it
οá½Îº ἔστιν θεός
08:57 AM on 08/09/2011
Hi, gracealone--

I was going to ask what part of "Christian" doesn't have "Christ" in it?

But then I remember having read, somewhere: "Christianity has little to do with Christ and probably never has - unless Christ was a closed-minded, misogynistic, homophobic, war-loving, imperialistic, aggressive hater of anything he didn't agree with."

Thank you for the unintended Zen slap.

--ez
11:21 PM on 08/07/2011
please make it clear how do you reconcile the Biblical admonition agaisnt so domy with being a Christian?

I can't say its ok for a man and woman to have sex before marriage and then pretend Christianity says its ok (or practice sex before marriage myself) so how come you do?
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r henry
I live between concrete walls
09:49 AM on 08/08/2011
You know, it is acceptable for people to read and interpret the Bible for themselves. You may choose to accept a certain translation/interpretation or you may take it very literally and others see it as a metaphor or accept a different translation.

I have yet to meet a person who wants to uphold any of the other laws laid down by God in the same texts that supposedly condemn homosexuality. So, how can you claim to be a Christian but not kill those who work on Sunday? Why don't you own slaves from neighboring lands?

Personally, I don't believe that the Bible is the word of God. However, if I did believe that, I don't see why that would mean I have to accept every single word of it as that of God. The Bible was written by many different humans over a very long period of time. It has also been altered and manipulated by many since it's inception. And let's not even get into how much of the Bible isn't even available in most translations.

So, if something in the Bible is in direct conflict with something else, is it not possible that one of the two things in conflict isn't even supposed to be there? What's to have stopped someone from adding something that WASN'T the word of God during it's development?

I don't understand why no one thinks that could have happened.
12:05 PM on 08/08/2011
I wish I could have stated my comment as articulately as this. Thank you!!
12:29 PM on 08/08/2011
"Sodomy" in an incorrect word. The sin of Sodom was the lack of hospitality. Check out Ezekiel 16:49-50.

A "Sodomite" is a temple prostitute. The word is not synonymous with "homosexual".

There is no Biblical admonition against loving acts between equal, adult, consenting, committed partners. There are admonitions against abusive, coercive, and otherwise harmful sex acts.

(To forestall those who say this is biblical revisionism, this is reading the Bible in the original language without the layered on filters of translation and culturally-biased additions.)

Therefore, there is no reconciliation needed. A self-recognizing and self-affirming gay Christian comes to God as the person that God intended them to be.

How do you propose that gay people get married, so that they can express their love within the limits that you impose, when most of the world does not allow equal marriage? Do you really think that God deliberately created 10% of his children to never know the joys, support, comfort and fulfillment of a committed relationship?

There seems to be an understanding in your posting that all gay people commit "sodomy", which to you means anal penetration with a penis. Some gay people are celibate and many gay people do not participate in this sex act. Further, what restriction do you place on heterosexual couples who use "sodomy" as a natural form of birth control, or simply for pleasure?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
r henry
I live between concrete walls
03:35 PM on 08/08/2011
Let us not also forget that, in modern culture, the term "sodomy" refers to oral sex as well. I can imagine there are very few heterosexuals who do not also commit sodomy.
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ez duz it
οá½Îº ἔστιν θεός
08:12 AM on 08/09/2011
Wonderful comments along the thread, Patricia Brush. Thank you. Fanned. Faved. --ez
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
02:21 PM on 08/07/2011
It's so disappointing to see another spritiually-intentioned gay commentary on being "Christian." The Christians don't want you, what're you thinking, hanging around mooning over them? They don't want you. Go be something else, go be Buddhist or Pagan or better yet, Human.
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meglon978
Beware of gifts bearing Greeks.
03:53 PM on 08/07/2011
With respect, given that the current US christian mindset is about 180 degrees off what Jesus taught, I'd suggest anyone actually following Jesus' teachings, and living in that manner, should start their own Christian church... one that actually teaches what Jesus said and wanted his followers to do (you could even use the Jefferson Bible).

Being run out of your religion by people who are only giving lip service to the religion to gain social status just sounds really annoying.
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
06:09 PM on 08/07/2011
That's a fair point.
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Coloradem
Christian, Gay, Democrat
12:09 PM on 08/08/2011
Why on earth would someone allow another person to define one's relationship with their creator?

It is no more the right of the "Christian Community" to define me than it is the right of the "Gay Community" to define me.

If you are permitting your faith journey to be defined by other human's, it really makes me question whose journey you are on....
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KaraC
Trans lesbian, atheist and humanist
01:57 AM on 08/07/2011
I would sincerely hope that the incidence of religion in the LGBT community is less than that of the general population. I would suggest that people read Dawkin's book, "The God Delusion", actually understand it, then consider whether it is even worth debating what the bible says about anything, much less about who you should love.
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WheelsOnFire
Fiercely Independent
04:32 PM on 08/07/2011
Excellent book.

I also recommend Sam Harris's great book, "The Moral Landscape."

He cites a great bit of research that I read some years ago -- about how the least religious nations on earth are also the most moral. They also score higher on many measures of societal health, too.

The bible is useful only as a debating device -- christians fight among themselves about what it says or doesn't say. Let them have their fight among themselves. We have happy and productive lives to lead.
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r henry
I live between concrete walls
09:53 AM on 08/08/2011
We used to use the Bible as rolling paper in high school when we had nothing else. So, it does have other uses beyond being a debating device.

I read the End of Faith a year or two ago. It was decent but it kind of got old about half way through.
04:22 PM on 08/08/2011
The God Delusion. Dawkins is a brillaint scientist, but he is an very poor atheist apologist.
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KaraC
Trans lesbian, atheist and humanist
05:25 PM on 08/08/2011
Try citing factual rebuttals to Dawkin's evidence-based arguments rather than simply name calling.
09:17 PM on 08/06/2011
My question is, why do straight people always try to stop gay people from marrying. I doubt some lady marrying another lady or some guy marrying another guy doens't really affect me in any way, shape, or form. But Christians are throwing a hissy-fit over the definition of the word "marriage." It's just a word. Get the hell over it.
03:20 PM on 08/06/2011
Gays are not Christians. They are HUMAN BEINGS! Get it through you head already. Religions are man made. Humans are born, naturally.
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
02:57 PM on 08/06/2011
Have you heard about these females who have themselves surgecially "re-virginized" ? NOT! When I was a child of six years I took a mental look at the people in my neighborhood and thought "I do not want to stay alive in a world full of people like this". I still do not like most of you and I feel from my extensive study of the Holy Scriptures that Our Creator does not like very many of you either. So why do I continue to stay alive ? Because Our Creator, from His Word has said He will like some more of you if I can help get you to see the error of your ways and change into being more like He wants you to be. I have given up most all of my hope of ever enjoying being alive, mostly due to your, (in the plural form) conduct and I don't expect more than a few of you to change enough to become acceptable to Our Creator. Why ? Too many of your "leaders" , political, religious and educational have taught you to think with and believe and live your lies.
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JDuck
Until we know the equal we'll never feel the free.
01:19 AM on 08/07/2011
What a sad way to view life.
01:46 AM on 08/07/2011
I second that
02:25 AM on 08/07/2011
I hope you'll find some comfort in knowing that at least one gay man in the world is praying for peace for you. I am a gay Christian and I believe our Creator created us all in His image, to love your neighbor as yourself. How do you hope to "help" people you don't like? The Creator I know loved us all so much that He gave His only son to us to save us. It seems that He might not only like us, but He loves us All, even you. Please read the Holy Scriptures again and find the peace that you should find in them, not the anger and hatred. You do not need to go through life so miserable and sad. Aloha to you.
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Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
11:15 AM on 08/06/2011
Gays are in every religion, nationality, race, creed and country. There are even gays who have never even heard the word gay before.
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CrazyThisIs
An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind
03:05 AM on 08/07/2011
Indeed - Faved!
12:14 PM on 08/08/2011
AMEN!!! How is it that I haven't found, faved, and fanned you before?
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Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
04:58 PM on 08/08/2011
No clue perhaps we were on different stories. well i F/F ed ya now so keep in touch.
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Intelligenti Pauca
Be Seeing You
03:35 PM on 08/05/2011
How does allowing gays to legally marry affect your Christian lives on a day-to-day basis?
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JDuck
Until we know the equal we'll never feel the free.
03:56 PM on 08/05/2011
I've yet hear any Christian effectively answer that question.
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Intelligenti Pauca
Be Seeing You
04:10 PM on 08/05/2011
That's because there really isn't an honest answer. Allowing gays to legally marry will affect married heterosexuals in no demonstrably visible way.
03:03 AM on 08/06/2011
The truth is you have not heard an answear that you have liked. I only say this because the question above was asked in reference to a personal opinion. If you where truely here to dialogue and not ram your opinions on others, all answears would be effectively revelant to the question.
09:50 AM on 08/06/2011
I'm sure it is different for each Christian as it would be for non christians.
But for those Christians that believe in the Word of God I can say this. We are called upon to be the salt of the world. We love gays as God does, we have gay friends and family members like anyone may have. But as the salt of the world we are called upon to hold back evil (sin) with Gods decernment, and fight against anything that the bible teaches could seperate man from God. For us this is not a gay issue, this is a sin issue, we all sin in our own ways. This is not against those that say their gay or not gay this is an issue against satan the father of all lies. We are aginst evil (sin), only because we know first hand the raveges of sin. To most people they see our position as against those that live a gay life style or against equal rites and the marriage of gay people. But we are speaking out against sin all types of sin. In the pages of Holy Scripture it is clear that God sees a gay life style as sin. You may want to look up a Christian definition of sin to understand a little.
04:48 PM on 08/06/2011
It is NOT clear "that God sees a gay life style as sin". There is nothing said in the Bible about gay lifestyles because there is no such thing. A lifestyle is whether you live in the country or the city; whether or not you share your life with dogs or cats or no pets at all; if you chose to attend operas and not rock concerts; if you work for somebody else or own your own business. I could go on. Gay people do not participate in a single quantifiable lifestyle anymore than straight people do.

If by "life style" you are alluding to the myth of homosexual promiscuity, let me assure you that gays are no more promiscuous than straights and yet straights receive the approval of their church communities. And if you are concerned that gays are making love without benefit of holy matrimony, whose fault is that?

If you truly love gays as God does, you will stop slinging accusations of greater sin against them. That is not a loving action.
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Intelligenti Pauca
Be Seeing You
07:35 PM on 08/06/2011
So many words.Too bad none of them constitute an actual answer.

This in no way demonstrates how allowing gays to legally marry is going to make you change how you have to live your life day-to-day. It doesn't explain what exact things that you will have to start doing differently. How will it affect your job or your paycheck? How will it affect the way you clean your house? How will it affect who you going to church?