Ladies Who Launch: Present Sense

We tend to measure the quality of our relationships on silly things like how good the sex is, the level of communication, whether you share the same values... But, at this time of year, we're all reminded of the true test of a relationship - giving each other presents.

The etiquette of gift giving in relationships isn't always obvious. Particularly when it's early in a relationship or the holidays show up before you've actually identified whatever it is that is going on between you. Emily Post never included a rule for how many times you have to sleep with someone before they warrant a Christmas present.

And, should you decide to take the risk and give a gift to someone you've just started seeing, what you get them can be even more revealing. Something too personal might have too much meaning; something impersonal might not have enough. Something too generic is, well, too generic. Something too practical lacks romance; something too romantic is too risky. Spending too little seems cheap; spending too much is extravagant. Before you know it, an innocent little gift has taken on the ability to define a relationship faster than you can say, "I hope you kept the receipt."

But the politics of gift giving isn't lost only on the newly united. Even if you've been together for years, gift giving can speak volumes about the relationship. Remember, "It's the thought that counts." As in, the amount of thought you put into giving your loved one a Christmas gift will directly reflect how much thought you put into the relationship. Yes, when it comes to gifts for that special someone, you will be tested on the following criteria: uniqueness, originality, how much trouble you went to and your ability to pick up on the subtle hints she's been throwing your way for the last six months. And there's no need to necessarily break the bank. Imagination also scores big points.

How about a fruit basket with notes attached to each piece of fruit telling the other person what you'd like to do with it and the time and place you'd like to do it? One guy I know buys a nice little box and puts something significant to the relationship in it. It's cheap and meaningful. In fact, you could save yourself a lot of stress and potential disappointment and both agree to scrap the whole gift thing altogether. Get a bottle of wine, some take-out and spend all that shopping time in bed together for the day, with the phone unplugged, giving and receiving!

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