Like, apparently, everyone else on Twitter, I'm packing a bag right now and getting ready to fly to Austin for SXSW. I know this because while I pack I have TweetDeck open and a search for both SXSW and PACK.
@jendotu says, "All I wanna do is go home, poop and pack for #sxsw."
Get it all out, @jendotu.
Unlike a lot of people, I'm not against this type of Tweet. I'm against this type of Tweet: "umm hello. Justin beiber. You are quite adorable. Just wanted you to know that. First love at 13? cant get any cuter then that" I hate it for the same reason you do - then vs than.
Let's search CUTER and THEN together, together.
@Alohawazza "Somedays my weiner is cuter then usual." That actually would work if she meant to have a comma after "cuter." I would Tweet that, if I weren't writing this. Life is about priorities. I would also make the obvious allusion to the Weiner thing. And then I'd think twice about that. I'm thinking twice right now. Back to packing. Or writing about packing.
I'm an over-the-shoulder guy. Rollers are for stewardesses and pilots. That's not a Tweet. Could be, but I don't like to assume that any thought I have under 140 characters is automatically a Tweet. That's egotistical.
@pennykim Tweets, "OH (overheard): 'Hold on, I'm talking to my dogs on speakerphone.' #sxsw"
This is the problem. It's not that @pennykim is abusing the hashtag principle. She is, in fact, at SXSW, I'm sure. But what she overheard doesn't help me know what to expect while I'm out there. It's an insanely amusing little story, one that I want to remember. (yes, I favorited it). But this "river of popular culture," - I'm positive somebody has referred to Twitter as a river at some time, but two pages into Google results and I can't find the attribution, and two pages is my limit - is no place for a raft of one.
What I want is what everyone wants - a guide. No, an opinion. Not of tacos, but an opinion of what to do at SXSW that matches my opinion of what to do at SXSW if I was informed enough to have one. And tacos. And I'd be happy to give attribution, too. There's plenty of what not to do. There's a panel tomorrow called "How Not To Be A Douchebag At SXSW." I don't know how you can look yourself in the face if you're either on the panel or in the audience for that one. But what about a thoughtful and considered opinion about which panels and which events and which sideshow attractions? Where are the people just like me, trying to make the same decisions I'm making? Everything is worth seeing, I'm sure. But puppies have to be slain. Who will slay the puppies? Not @Alohawazza. Not @pennykim. I'm over at a Ning group right now, called "SXSW Insider's Guide." Sounds promising. But it's mostly a lot of people with questions. There are no answers. At least, not yet. I think that's the point of it all. If I'm dipping my cup into the river - it was The New Yorker!!! George Packer and an article called "Stop The World." What a relief. - If I'm dipping my cup into the river right at this very instant, it's just a girl listening to her dogs on speakerphone.
Time to go pack, for real. Sleep well, tomorrow the dogs go hungry.
Follow Josh Rose on Twitter: www.twitter.com/joshrose