"Goody Guns" for Kids! Yum!

If the pro-gun Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership has its way, parents across America will soon be sending their kids off to school with the advice "eat your Goody Gun from the back end; never point the muzzle at yourself or anbody else."

Yes, Goody Guns, the latest weapon in the arsenal of pro-gun America. According to JPFO, "America's Most Aggressive Defender of Firearms Ownership"--

`Goody Guns' consists of a special cookie cutter in the shape of a semiautomatic pistol. With the supervision and help of the adults in their lives, boys and girls can turn their own kitchens into `Arsenals of Liberty' by making gun-shaped cookies to keep and share, while absorbing firearms safety lessons the public schools would never teach them, and which the mass media don't want to see being taught.

Packed with each Goody Guns cookie cutter are a pair of tiny, toothpick-masted American flags, in case young bakers want to adorn their kitchen creations in honor of a uniquely American idea: an armed citizenry ready to defend itself from foreign invasion or domestic tyranny.

Once word of it gets out, the Goody Guns program will have the victim disarmers screaming from the housetops, because it addresses young children at pre-verbal level gun-grabbers can't hope to reach. By the time these children are old enough to understand the lies and propaganda being pushed on them, they'll be immune. In any case, the program is bound to drive victim disarmers even crazier than they are already.

Goody Guns can be used to teach kids elementary gun safety -- eat your Goody Gun from the back end; never point the muzzle at yourself or anybody else -- and, perhaps just as important, convey a liberating message that they're no longer under the mind-control of `political correctness.'

Some folks will wish to send their kids to school with a brown bag or lunch box containing Goody Guns, severely testing that form of fascism fashionaby called "zero tolerance" and revealing it for what it really is: zero tolerance for basic individual rights protected by the First, Second, Fourth, and Fifth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

What's the price of freedom? Only $9.95! But wait, don't answer yet! The Goody Gun cookie cutter can also be used for grilled cheese sandwiches! Cold cut sandwiches! Even a patriotic centerpiece! And for those who want to strike a blow for freedom while remaining observant, JPFO offers a Kosher sugar cookie recipe.

To parents and teachers who would argue that teaching schoolchildren to put handguns in their mouths--tasty or otherwise--isn't the best idea, the JPFO has a response that they can only hope will soon be chanted over jump ropes and jungle gyms in schoolyards across our country: "Put the gun-haters on the run with your Goody Gun!"

Comments

[DrMichaelSBrown]

Sometimes the more radical gun rights organizations, like JPFO or GOA, will engage in some tweaking of the anti-gun folks that might seem a bit over the top, but there is a good reason for this. The anti-gunners have been so dishonest and mean-spirited in their attacks on lawful gun owners that there are a lot of hard feelings out there. Ironically, Josh Sugarman bears some responsibility for this, since he was probably the greatest propagandist of the anti-gun movement. His lies and distortions were very well conceived and did a lot of damage to American gun rights. On the bright side, I must say it is good to see that Josh seems to have a sense of humor about this latest JPFO gambit. Personally, I don't believe that he takes his own propaganda too seriously.

Dr. Michael S. Brown
Doctors for Sensible Gun Laws

[fsilber]

JudyGee says, "Anyone can call themselves anything. There is no reason to believe that this group exists or the product."

They've been around at least since 1994. I joined once, but they never bothered to send me a renewal notice, so I guess my membership lapsed. The founder is Jewish, but the membership is not restricted. They produce some really clever material, such as papers arguing the necessity of gun control before a state implements a thorough genocide, or the Gran'pa Jack comic book series for kids (with titles such as "Gun Control Kills Kids" and "Do Gun Prohibitionists Have a Mental Problem?" ).

They're less compromising than the NRA -- more like Larry Pratt's Gun Owners of America group. They serve a vital purpose in the fight against antisemitism, by showing people outraged by Chuck Schumer, Dianne Feinstein, and Frank Lautenberg that not all Jews are evil.

[ranger21532]

You know, Josh, I disagree with about 99.999% of what you say. However, your mockery of the goody gun is just fine by me!

[CCW4ME2]

Mmm, Mmm good.
"Goody Guns" sound like a great way to promote gun safety and awareness and drive the hoplophobes even crazier than they already are.
Make mine chocolate, please!

[sheereen6]

Wow. WTF exactly.

[gwalchmai]

I really don't see a problem in something that gets kids to spend time with their parents discussing how to safely use firearms. And if kids share that knowledge with their peers it could prevent firearms accidents.

Sounds like a great program to me!

[disgustedcitizen]

I own several guns, both rifles and pistols, and even I find "Goody guns" offensive.

[BobbyJoe]

In a related story, Ernie the Keebler Elf remains in critical condition this afternoon after being gunned down in a hail of chocolate chips.

[JudyGee]

Anyone can call themselves anything. There is no reason to believe that this group exists or the product.

[JRWhit2]

That is why we install links to their sites in the text of the story...this is not USA Today. Go to the web site.

[ImmanuelGoldstein]

With the number of kids taking real guns to school these days, who needs 'Goody guns"?

[Fairfloss]

Wouldn't "Goody Guns" be a nice alternative? They could leave the real gun home with Mom.

I personally like my right to have a real semi-automatic handgun hidden in my underwear drawer. It's called, protection!