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How to Write Your Online Dating Emails Like a Marketing Guru

03/16/2015 05:24 pm ET | Updated May 16, 2015

Remember the Arch Deluxe at McDonald's? Well neither does the rest of the world. To take a stroll down memory lane, the Arch Deluxe was McDonald's marketing attempt at bringing in a more refined crowd with a more "refined hamburger." Well you can dress a pig in lipstick, but at the end of the day, a pig is still a pig. The Arch Deluxe was nothing short of a marketing disaster.

On the other hand, the iPod was one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever created. "1,000 songs in your pocket." Clear, to the point, and something just about everyone in the world would look at and say, "I need to have that!"

Well make no mistake about it. Your online dating success entirely depends on how well you market yourself. If you want to attract a quality partner, you need to show why others should choose what you are offering over everybody else. And without learning how to write perfect online dating emails, you will never have the perfect sales pitch.

In this article I am going to teach you how to write online dating emails the same way a marketing guru would, and follow up the presentation with an example of a perfectly written email. Follow my advice and when other singles see your email, their stomach won't turn faster than inhaling a whiff of the Arch Deluxe. They are going to look at you and think, "I need to have that!"

Step 1: Who are you marketing to?

Are you marketing yourself as the Dolce and Gabbana of the online dating world, or something off the discount rack at T.J. Max? The most highly sought after products in this world don't just sell a product, they sell a dream or change in lifestyle.

If you want to attract the highest quality singles online and not just the unwanted leftovers, you need to make sure your online dating profile tells the perfect visual and verbal story of who you are before you even think about sending out emails. Only after you create a profile that is fully optimized to attract your target audience, will you be ready to market yourself effectively through the emails you write.

Step 2: What are you selling?

Before you write that first email and start your marketing campaign, you need to figure out what your most marketable qualities are. Perhaps it is your witty sense of humor. Maybe it's your sense of adventure. Or maybe it's you never-ending optimism and passion for life. Whatever these qualities are, figure out which ones you want to highlight, and make sure they are clear to your audience in the emails you craft.

Step 3: Hook your audience.

In the online dating world, the subject line is the hook. This is where you will want to make your target audience instantly take notice.

Most people on dating sites leave the subject line blank, or write some variation of "hey." But you are not everyone else. You are going to make sure your first email stands out from the boring influx of emails that most online daters receive on a daily basis by created a unique and original subject line.

The perfect hook will immediately catch the eye of your audience, raise curiosity, and make the other person feel as if they need to read your email first.

Step 4: Find a marketing angle and pitch your audience.

When you find that perfect online dating profile to message, you need to come up with an angle for your first email. Millions of online daters ask the same boring small talk questions every day. But boring people don't get noticed. Boring people don't attract the attention of singles who are in high demand.

You need to scan profiles you like and find the right angle for your message. Maybe it's playfully teasing someone about a picture they posted. Maybe it's discussing a unique passion that you both share. Whatever the angle you decide on is, at the end of the day, your goal is to stand out from the competition and create the image of a someone who is fun, unique, and interesting. Humor is always the best method.

Step 5: Never allow your audience to question what you are offering.

Massive companies often put tons of research into marketing campaigns before ever letting them see the light of day. This is because they need to make sure that they are communicating the right message without alienating their intended audience. You need to make sure you achieve the same feat with the messages you write online.

Avoid common mistakes, such as over-complimenting, poor word choice, desperate sounding language, and overly long emails. Millions of women on dating sites make these critical mistakes without even realizing it. Unfortunately, if your audience even slightly suspects that you are desperate, needy, or have potential red-flags, they will move on to the next best choice.

Step 6: Always create a call to action in your email.

Suppose you were absolutely starving and finally found a little food truck. The owner of the vehicle tells you about all the amazing speciality foods he sells, shows them to you, then pulls away without asking if you want to buy something. Anybody in the world would consider this person the world's worst business owner.

Well this is the equivalent of writing an email without asking a question at the end. A great marketer will always provide a call to action. When you write your emails, always prompt your audience with a fun or interesting question to respond to at the end.

Step 7: Understand the times we are living in.

Do you want to be Apple and change with the times, or go the route of Radio Shack and Blockbuster? Great marketers understand that the times are constantly evolving and adjust appropriately to those changes.

When it comes to online dating and electronics, we live in an A.D.D. world. In this fast paced world of short attention spans, you need to make sure all emails can be read within sixty seconds, and responded to within five minutes, max. Anything more, and you will likely lose your audience to someone else.

Let's put it all together with an first email example...

It's time to put all this knowledge together. Let's take a look at an email example that:

  • Attracts its target audience (In this case, someone who also has a passion for dogs)

  • Utilizes a hook in the subject line
  • Finds a marketing angle (Dog's and a television show)
  • Sends zero red flags by using confident language
  • Ends with a call to action
  • Can be read in less than sixty seconds and answered within five minutes
  • Is unique, fun, playful, and separates itself from the competition.
  • Subject: We may have a problem here...

    Come on now. It's not enough that you do volunteer work in your spare time, but you also have to post a picture of the world's cutest dog just to lure us women in? Not cool! How are any of us amazing single women on here supposed to resist something like that! :P ...

    I guess I could forgive you though. I mean, you are into Game of Thrones! Alright first true chemistry test, favorite Game of Thrones character... Good luck! ....

    There you have it folks. How to write an online dating email like a marketing guru. Now it's up to you to get out there, find your angle, and start marketing yourself like the guru of your own dating life.

    For more free advice from author Joshua Pompey on how to write a profile, visit this page now.