Getting Through the Holidays During Difficult Financial Days

As we approach the holiday season and in particular the Christmas holidays, I want everyone to remember what this time is all about. For most people, we think of the holidays as a time in which we celebrate with loved ones and friends. It is a time of gift giving and sharing. What happens to people emotionally and psychologically when finances are strained and you are disconnected from your family? The holidays can be a very difficult time to say the least.

You must avoid being caught up in the hype of the Christmas Holidays in the wrong way. I have been in situations in my life in the past when money was so bad and I was so down and out that I did not realize that it was Christmas time. I had not been shopping for such a long time that when I walked through the mall, I asked my husband why were so many people there and he shared that it was Christmas time and people were spending money on gifts. I could not believe that I had been so out of it that I forgot it was Christmas. We were so broke and I had little money that I forgot about everything.

As our country finds its self in a recession, I am amazed at the number of people who are still able to shop. All of this shopping is for one day. I look at them and wonder to myself if they really understand that the day is about remembering Jesus and celebrating his life.

Don't get me wrong, it should be a wonderful time. Many people only give and receive gifts during this time of year. My main point is that we should put everything associated with Christmas in perspective. If you give gifts, do not go over board. Take your time and think about each person and why you want to give them a gift. Are you giving the gift from your heart? Are you giving the gift for the right reason? Will you feel good giving the gift? Does the person deserve getting a gift from you? Will the person appreciate the gift? After you answer these questions, your heart will tell you if the person is worthy of receiving a gift from you.

After you have made a list of the persons you want to give to and the reasons why the persons should receive a gift from you, make sure that you put a budget together. After you have put a budget together that is both practical and realistic, start the process of shopping around. This may include going on line in an effort to get the best price. Look for the sale advertisements in the newspaper and compare prices. This can be very relaxing in many ways if you decide to make it so because during these harsh economic times, the consumer has the advantage of being able to bargain shop as the stores are drastically discounting the merchandise. Stay within your budget. If you can pay cash for the gifts, please do so. There is nothing worse than when January of 2009 rolls around and you have to open those credit card bills and find yourself starting the New Year in tremendous debt.

If you have children, I would immediately call for a family meeting. In the family meeting you would have the goal of helping everyone to have realistic expectations of the holidays. This would be a good time to ask each member of the family to share what is it that they have to be grateful for. This exercise will call to the remembrance of everyone that God has provided everything that we need and will help us to understand what is really important. I do not believe that it is necessary to go into all the details and specifics about your financial situation with your children. If you are without a job, or you are having financial difficulties, you must be honest in a general way with your children. If you decided one gift is all you are able to give them, make it a fun exercise for them. You and your children can take an evening to go to the toy department of your favorite store and allow them about an hour to just look at all the toys. You can use this opportunity to have your children to narrow their list of gifts. Seeing something on TV is very different when they are able to touch and feel it. This really works because I do this with my 3 year old granddaughter and after 20 minutes or so she quickly decides on the one gift that she would like to have. You should write the items down to give the list to Santa. This visit to the store can serve to help the children to put things in perspective and to allow them to enjoy some time with you.

If you don't have the money and you are in the position of barely paying your bills, make sure that you ask for help. Although you may be too proud to do so, there are organizations and non-profits that may be able to help. My church gives out food baskets to our members who are in need. Members who are not financially struggling often donate to assist others during this time. We bring Santa to the church and give each child a gift. My husband and I understand that for many of our members and their children, this may be the only gift that the child is able to get.

Finding yourself in financial hardship should not be about shame. If you have made some bad decisions, or find yourself in a position of hardship, whether you have lost your job, you are getting a divorce or your debts have overtaken you; you must understand that life comes with ups and downs. If you are in the valley of life, the key is to stay positive. Please know that the majority of people have at some point in their lives faced financial difficulty. Everyone has a story about their past life when they found themselves struggling. Keep a cool head. You have got to remove the fear and replace it with faith. God knows all about what you are going through.

With your faith, develop a plan. If you are without a job, do not allow a day to go by without doing something towards getting another job. Every day you have to do something. Either you must send out a resume or go and to a potential employer and fill out an application. Be open and willing to take a job that may not be up to your standards, but it will allow you to make a living. It seems that you can always get a job when you have a job. The key is to get back to work so that you can feel better about your financial situation. Work two jobs if you must. Remember, no one is going to do anything for you and your family. You have to do this for yourself.

Stop having a pity party and pick yourself up. If you have cried about your dilemma, that is fine because crying is normal. But now you need a plan. You have to look at your finances and determine what you can do without. You are going to have to make a sacrifice.

Please know that hard times come and hard times go away. You will make it. Do not allow the commercialism of the Christmas holidays to make you feel bad about your life and what you are able to do for others. If I could, I would give a gift to everyone that I know. I have a big heart and I would love to take everyone's hurt away. As a minister, I understand that that job belongs to God. Allow God to be God. You be you, and do the best that you can, so that you can be the best that you can be. Hard times come to everyone. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

God Bless you and Merry Christmas

Comments

[Sunshine85]

Everyone is being greedy this year. I still have a job and I don't see why I shouldn't give gifts. If I can pay my bills and also donate a few toys, or buy my grandmother some new earrings that's my perogative. Get off my back you bunch of scrooges.

[Ohioruthie]

Wow Sunshine85 a little compassion for others can go a long way. With the economy the way it is many aren't in your position. This blog entry helps those who can't do what are you able to do. Gifts are great but its not what Christmas is suppose to be about....it would be nice if you had some compassion and understanding to give folks this season too...no one is being a scrooge its about understanding the hardships of others...wow what a concept! Christmas isn't about the birth of Santa Claus and the gift giving tradition...hello!

I've read this blog to people on the phone....its what many needed to hear. How you got what you did out of it and readers comments blows my mind. Since you took it as a personal attack.."get off my back" well then maybe your spirit is trying to tell you something.­..hmmm...o­h wait it may just be a little nudge from God afterall it is His sons birthday! A day when we were all given the gift of love, compassion and hope in a baby boy....not a fat man in a red suit!

Really the best gifts don't come wrapped in pretty packages...time, understanding, compassion...they have lasting life changing effects and are more valuable than anything you can buy....just this scrooge's two cents.

[PatA]

All I can give this year is either second-hand or I will have made it. Thank you so much for your blog. I really, really, really need this tonight.

[Ohioruthie]

Great blog! I'm one of those who really can't give gifts but this year I told everyone we got the best gift possible and we get to open it on January 20th...President Obama has given us all hope again...and at this time.... for most people... that is the best gift one can get.

I think you give everyone a lasting gift with your show...you change/improve lives. You touch all who enter your courtroom and all who watch your show.

I believe you make God smile..so I hope he blesses you always!