An Open Letter to Carnie Wilson: What You Need to Know to Keep the Weight Off

Dear Carnie,

It's not surprising that you gained back most of the weight you lost after your first weight loss surgery -- so many people do. I'm glad to hear that you've now lost 30 pounds following a second lap band procedure. There are, though, a number of important skills you need to learn if you want to keep the weight off for good this time.

I would bet that no one ever taught you essential skills such as: how to motivate yourself to make healthy choices every day, what to do when you experience a craving; how to get yourself to exercise (even when you don't feel like it), how to get immediately back on track when you make an eating mistake, and how to cope with negative emotions without turning to food.

My guess is that the number on your scale is still going down and so you probably feel quite motivated at the moment. But what will happen once your weight loss plateaus? Your daily weigh-ins on the scale won't be so thrilling then. And you'll probably experience more temptations and cravings. Is this what happened last time? Did you begin to have (sabotaging) thoughts like, "I don't care. I know I'm not supposed to eat this, but I'm going to anyway?" These types of thoughts are common among dieters, especially dieters who struggle with keeping weight off. Fortunately, though, you can start practicing now for the difficult times you're likely to face.

One important technique I want you to know about is predicting the kinds of sabotaging thoughts you're likely to have in the future. You probably had these same types of thoughts in the past. Write each one on a card. Then write what you wish you would be able to remember so that you can respond to them effectively, not give in to them, and stick to your new eating plan.

You might have the thought, for example, "It won't matter if I eat this food that I'm not supposed to eat." How do you hope you might respond to that thought? Do you think it would be helpful if you told yourself, "No, it absolutely does matter! I'm just fooling myself. Thoughts like that have always led me to gain back weight in the past. And every time I give in, I increase the likelihood I'll give in the next time. It's so worth it to me to stick to my plan and resist temptation. I'd rather reach my weight loss goals than eat this now."

This is just one technique from our cognitive behavioral program for weight loss and maintenance. There is a lot to learn, but won't it be worth it if you can keep the weight off for good this time?

Sincerely,

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D.
Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy

For more by Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., click here.

For more on weight loss, click here.

 

 

 

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Comments

[Health Commando]

11:07 AM on 04/17/2012

The Guinea Pig Diet. No, it’s not a book on the New York Times best seller list or a fad diet that is endorsed by a famous actor or musician. It’s an observation I made when we recently bought my son a guinea pig to have as a pet. My son named his guinea pig Cloud.

As soon as Cloud’s cage graced our home, I was on the internet researching about the care and feeding of our newest family member. What I learned is that guinea pigs are strict vegetarians, eating only a plant-based diet. They will forage throughout the day and consume large quantities of food, so he would always need lots of hay and vegetables and fruits readily available.

We tried many different vegetables in his feed rack. Cloud loves carrots, lettuce, cucumbers and sweet potatoes. He also loves many fresh fruits like kiwi, oranges, grapes and peaches. He enjoys a variety of fruits and vegetables – another trait we share.

So the Guinea Pig Diet includes whole grains, a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as unlimited amounts of water. It occurred to me that Cloud has a healthier diet than the majority of Americans. Wouldn’t it be interesting if more Americans ate the Guinea Pig Diet? If they did, there would be fewer heart attacks, strokes, cancer and diabetes. It’s amazing what you can learn from a guinea pig. Now if I could only get Cloud to write a book!

[earthgrrl64]

01:02 PM on 04/16/2012

To Carnie Wilson, Dr. Beck and all who posted here:

Here is suggested reading, if you are sick of the insanity with food and weight.

Health at Every Size: The Surprizing Truth About Your Weight and Health by Linda Bacon Phd

And

It's Not About Food By Laurelee Roark MA and Carol Emery Normandy MFT

A paradigm shift is need here and these books help to get us on our way.

[MerrilyMaryLee]

06:19 AM on 04/15/2012

Part 2 (because my comment was too long)....If Ms. Wilson uses a reality show to get the word out, then that was the means she had available. She is being real. Some people are successful with WLS and some people are not. It takes a lot of courage to admit you need a "do-over". I'm sure that every person who has had WLS would have preferred to NOT have it. But how many diets do you fail at before you make that decision? What works for one person, does not necessarily work for another. I will not judge anyone's choices. Everyone's journey is different. I'm just glad reporters are not following every up and down of my journey. My open note to Ms. Carnie Wilson...good luck and may you be successful in whatever method you choose for yourself - many are pulling for you and thank you for being so open with your journey!

[MerrilyMaryLee]

06:13 AM on 04/15/2012

I'm going to slightly disagree with a few comments posted. I do believe that Carnie has opened herself up by being so public. I also believe that she is well aware of what she was doing by doing so and is strong enough to take it. Ms. Beck is not Carnie's therapist, so I don't feel there is a breach by bringing her name into it. What I do feel is that Ms. Beck is trying to sell a book and is jumping on Ms. Wilson's media bandwagon to do so. This totally discounts her book in my mind. I had WLS in Oct 2009 and have kept off over 220lbs. I've worked very hard to do so. WLS is not a magic solution. It is a TOOL to get you over that initial hurdle of massive weight loss. It is up to you to keep it off. So yes, you need to deal with the emotional, the addiction, the medical...anything that contributed to your obesity needs to be dealt with. That is different for every single person in that situation. No one's journey is the same. If changing a mindset were so easy, then no one would be obese. One final note about Carnie...I sincerely believe she is not being so public because of money. Maybe I'm naive, but I believe she is genuinely wanting to help people with her story...cont...

[Laura Preston]

09:34 PM on 04/14/2012

I am apalled at all the ignorance. Judith should be ashamed of this "public letter" too Carnie...basically she is taking cheap shots at pimping a book that NOBODY should even remotely consider buying. I am appalled that she would use the word therapist with such ignorance. Carnie is fight a very public battle with food addiction. While I do not agree with her revision, that is HER business. She is choosing to share it publicly and her life, in hopes of helping others and holding herself accountable. She was one of the first celebrities that was HONEST and went public with her surgery. She changed her life and influenced so many others that are celebrating success with WLS. We should support her fight against obesity, not share ignorant commentary to try to promote ones self. APALLING. Shame on you Judith. Food addiction is VERY real. Food addiction is no different that drug or alcohol addiction. It is a disease that is a life long battle.

[Amy Greenblatt]

07:51 AM on 04/15/2012

I disagree about whether people should buy these diet books. They should - or get them from the library. They are outstanding! The decision to publish the open letter really has nothing to do with the quality of the advice in the books. This letter is supportive, in its own way, in Carnie's fight against obesity. It's suggesting new ideas that she could benefit from. She doesn't have to take the ideas if she doesn't want to.

[Beth Ism]

07:11 PM on 04/14/2012

While I understand the sentiment -- to "help" someone who has publicly regained weight after publicly losing a massive amount of weight. Is it common to write letters to celebrities about their weight issues?

Don't answer that. I'm obviously naive. (As I note that we're ranting about Ashley Judd's FACE on the news. People are unbelievable.)

Yeah, yeah, I've heard it a hundred times -- "She chose to do this in the public eye, she opened herself up for criticism... blah blah blah..."

Please. http://www.meltingmama.net/wls/2012/04/open-letter-to-carnie-wilson.html

[karensue32]

08:25 PM on 04/13/2012

This just seems like such a RUDE article for a "therapist" to write. It could have been written for people like Carnie but to direct it directly at her is so unprofessional.

[Diva Taunia]

03:20 PM on 04/13/2012

I can't imagine that ANYONE would want to visit a therapist who so readily calls out someone in such a public and humiliating way. Additionally, any medical professional who would say something like this:

"I would bet that no one ever taught you essential skills such as..."

You would BET? You have just lost all credibility.

[Marg O'Lemberger]

08:29 PM on 04/13/2012

^^ That ^^

[Yvonne Burns McCarthy]

06:37 PM on 04/14/2012

Part 2 because the post was too long. Believe me we know our demons...we know we ate because we self-medicated our pain away that we wanted to numb. And for those that never learn that we just switch to something else. One other very important issue is that the super morbidly obese have a tougher time fighting those demons. I'll post my blog in another post just in case but if you really want to learn about this disease, you'll find more than you could ever possibly want to know. I'm certified as a Health and Wellness coach and I've been in the trenches for over ten years. I'd invite you and anyone else to read it. You might check out Diva Taunia's blog too because she is also quite educated on our disease too. Yvonne McCarthy, CLC.

[Yvonne Burns McCarthy]

06:40 PM on 04/14/2012

And just in case you can read post a link, here's my blog link.
www.bariatricgirl.com. You might want to read the newest one about Carnie.

[PhillyChic]

08:36 AM on 04/13/2012

Weight Loss surgical centers and Supplement Suppliers LOVE stories like these. Celebrity stories boost their sales. It is a shame that Ms. Wilson has not been able to win her battle with weight, but do think these companies really care who loses the weight. They just want any famous face to promo their product. The more famous the celebrity is the more the consumers will watch and buy. Who do you think is living on Million Dollar row? Ms. Wilson or the makers of Slim-fast????

[Beth Ism]

02:05 PM on 04/15/2012

Thousands of us with gastric bypasses immediately latched on to her story -- consider how many will follow through with GETTING a revision because of it. ;)

[XME]

10:36 PM on 04/12/2012

Many women, many famous women have lost and regained weight, even many famous women who has some form or another of weight loss surgery. I'm at a loss as to why the person authoring this letter felt the need to put this letter out, specifically addressing Carnie Wilson, particularly when I would assume that she didn't ask for your opinion on her weight, particularly in a public format. Seems this is just for self promotion, in which case it should have been just your opinion on this issue, not the need to drag Carnie Wilson's name into it in an effort to gain more notice and attention for yourself by using a well known name.

[urkiddinme]

08:10 AM on 04/13/2012

I think it's because Ms. Wilson uses her weight issues in an effort to gain more notice and attention for HERself and for her musical comeback (aside: does anyone besides the three "band" members really want to hear more of their offerings?) and codependent "reality" show. Some celebrities make a living off publicizing their weight struggles, either by streaming live video of their surgeries (Ricki Lake), endorsing Big Diet Programs (Kirstie Alley, Valerie Bertinelli, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey), whining incessantly about not being able to lose weight (Oprah) or just not caring how they look (Beth Ditto). Wilson's been all over TV and tabloids lately for her failed gastric bypass and new "additional" surgery, so why not use her as an appeal to Everywoman who also "can't" lose weight and write the article in the hopes readers will see their own struggles in Wilson's story, I guess. In any case, she is a trainwreck.

[Amy Greenblatt]

01:58 PM on 04/13/2012

Thanks for the background info on Ms Wilson in the news lately. I missed all of that and was wondering the same thing - why direct a letter to her specifically? It seemed like a breach. If the article had mentioned what you just said, it may have helped to understand the context of this.

[KathyC]

01:16 PM on 04/13/2012

Carnie Wilson has PUBLICLY PUT HER STORY OUT THERE. This woman is offering her and more importantly other women battling weight issues very good advice. I know so many women who have had either bypass surgery or lap-band surgery and have gained most or all the weight back. My doctor was pushing me to get the surgery, either one and I resisted. You have to lose weight before the surgery to qualify for the surgery. If I can do that why can't I lose all of it without surgery. In the last eighteen months I have lost almost seventy pounds. I had a setback and gained four pounds recently. Now I have to be disciplined and re-lose that four pounds. The problem with those of us who over eat is in the head not the mouth. . .this woman offers good advice to overcome the voices in your head that tell you to eat anything and any amount you want. Without help to control the voices.....we all will fail.

[Yvonne Burns McCarthy]

01:52 PM on 04/14/2012

Thanks to Carnie I had weight loss surgery 11 years ago and kept 130 pounds off. I fortunately had some private time to figure it out instead of paparazzi hanging around my house reporting every single pound regained. I know it's in my head and I volunteer practically 24/7 to help others understand food addiction which wasn't even talked about when Carnie had her first surgery. Walk a mile in my shoes before you begin to understand what we have gone through including cross addiction of many of my friends.

[GreatestViews]

08:32 PM on 04/12/2012

This girl did a great thing but I feel the media is trying to expliot is once again like they do with almost every news story today.

I also have some advice for people looking to lose weight. Look into a Paleo diet.

I used this site to start. it is a review on the Paloe Recipe Book.

http://greatestviews.com/paleo-recipe-book/

Before you consider any type of surgery please look into alternative methods. I can vouch for the Paleo diet as it has helped me drop 20 lbs already in about 2 months.

[CMarks]

02:48 PM on 04/13/2012

Seems that the only way the media can exploit this is by Carnie putting it out there for them - which is exactly what she did. It appears that Ms. Wilson feels the need, for some reason, to make her weight issue public issues and the media is simply accommodating her.

[kcrom]

03:48 PM on 04/12/2012

And, you must love yourself. I feel her pain, it shows. Childhood pain is a very bad thing. Food makes it feel better in the moment.

[cstur]

12:36 PM on 04/12/2012

Why is Carnie Wilson's weight this woman's business? So she can promote her book? Read the Ashley Judd article Dr. Beck. If Carnie Wilson wanted your help, she would ask for it.

[urkiddinme]

08:11 AM on 04/13/2012

Wilson makes a living off her weight; she makes it public business.

[HisGirlFriday]

02:38 PM on 04/13/2012

Which doesn't negate the idea that Beck is attempting to profit.

[Linda Trzos]

09:11 AM on 04/12/2012

Before getting surgery do your RESEARCH. Talk to others who have had the surgery, those who are successful and those who are not. I don't believe having a lap band placed over a gastric bypass is going to be effective long term. The lap band has a horrible success rate and complication rate. I had one---it gave me GERD. Other countries have stopped using it altogether because it just isn't effective for most people. I revised my surgery to a DS (Duodenal Switch) surgery and have kept the weight off for three years, easily.

[Vectorbabe]

07:30 AM on 04/12/2012

There is a 12-step program, Overeaters Anonymous, that has helped thousands lose weight and maintain the weight loss for many years--as long as 20+ years.

I hope Carnie gets the courage to go to a meeting.

[karenemt]

12:14 AM on 04/13/2012

Exactly! Carnie has exhibited addictive behaviors, not just with eating, but with alcohol and drugs. I believe you are on the right track Vectorbabe.

The phenomenon of "transfer of addiction" is being overlooked in these weight loss surgery patients. No one is bringing it up before the surgeries. My best friend and husband have both gone through this. Addictions got them morbidly obese, and the addiction does not go away because of the surgery. I, too, hope Carnie gets the courage to address the demons responsible for her TRUE issues. The weight is merely a symptom of what lies beneath.

[KathyC]

01:28 PM on 04/13/2012

You are absolutely right karenemt....right on the money. It is a mental battle to break away from any addiction. It has always frustrated me that over twenty years ago I was able to kick cold turkey a three pack a day cigarette habit yet all these years later I am still battling my obesity. I had to finally face it is an addiction and fight it the same way I fought off the cravings for cigarettes. Against my Doctor's advice I decided not to have by-pass surgery or the Lap band and I am doing it on my own......fighting it like it is an addiction but I have had a set back recently and gained four pounds and have had to fight the beast and get back on my program and stay there. We are going to have set backs but one secret is to accept them and not give up. I have lost alot of weight and have about fifty more pounds to go. I am in my late sixties, not looking to be bikini svelte, my motivation at this time in life is to live longer and in good health but I know as I posted earlier the problem is not my mouth but in my head.

[MerrilyMaryLee]

05:50 AM on 04/15/2012

Please do your research before you make sweeping statements. "Transfer of addiction" is not being overlooked at reputable programs. I had WLS at the Cleveland Clinic and the psychological is definitely dealt with. Again, WLS is a tool. I tried a ton of diet programs (including medical ones) over 20 years and nothing worked for me. After being diagnosed Type 2 Diabetic, I'd had enough. I researched and decided gastric bypass surgery was for me. It has been an incredible journey and I've lost over 220lbs and am training for my first half and full marathons. But that is also it....I'm now an athlete and work very hard. WLS was a tool to get me past what seemed impossible...losing such an incredible amount of weight. I work very hard to keep it off and have made the changes I need to. It's not a magic solution, but it can help those who need it. But yes, you need to deal with the emotional issues and make the changes you need to in the end. It also cured my diabetes. The Cleveland Clinic just released a study about it that has been in the news in the last few weeks. There are reasons to have the surgery other than weight loss.