6 Things NOT To Do The First Time You Have Sex With Someone New

Judy McGuire writes for TheFrisky.com.

So you've met Mr. Right. (Or Mr. Right Now.) You're a good girl, so you've waited the requisite amount of time and you just know that tonight is the night you've been dreaming of all year/month/week/minute.

You look good, you smell good and you're wearing the only matching lingerie set you own. All signs point to go.

You'd think with this many green lights that there's no way a lady could mess this up. Maybe you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Here are just a few of the ways this could go south in a hurry:

1. Don't depend on him for birth control. Yes, he should carry condoms, but ultimately it's up to you -- it's your body and you need to keep yourself safe. I'm not saying that's the way it should be, but the sad fact is, even the nicest seeming guy isn't always as invested in keeping us disease and pregnancy-free. Even if you're the kind of traditional lady who insists your date pay for everything (after all, you're giving him the gift of your company), do not let stubbornness get in the way of your safe good time. And nothing ruins a good time like a below-the-belt itch or unplanned pregnancy.

2. For Pete's sake, don't cry. Some of us have a weird habit of occasionally bursting into tears during sex -- it's the rush of endorphins that does it, so blame biology! But, if there's any way to pull yourself together the first time you make sweet love to your new boyfriend, try to. Waterworks will lead him to believe that either he hurt you--and in that case, will never again do that thing again -- or he'll think that you're a mental case. Either way, you probably won't be seeing him again anytime soon.

3. Leave the comparison talk at home. You know how almost every woman you know thinks she's fat? Yeah, well most guys think they're, ahem, less endowed than they actually are. Imagine if you thought a size zero was the way you thought you should look just because the model in Vogue was. Sigh.

4. Don't introduce him to your stuffed animal collection. If you're old enough to be sexually active, you're old enough to squash Paddington Bear to the back of your closet, Winnie The Pooh under the bed, and your collection of American Girl dolls in the garbage bin.

5. Do not automatically assume that he'll like everything your ex enjoyed. One man's erogenous zone is another man's tickle spot is another man's horrified, "What are you doing?" and so on.

6. Don't show him every trick in your book. Yes, I know it's been a while, but try to breathe, relax, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be mutual pleasure two people who might have a future together--not an audition for racy feature film.

Comments

[RobinSeattle]

I don't mind seeing a couple of stuffed animals in her place. It's kind of cute. But I don't want to see things like shelf fulls of ceramic frogs or other tasteless bric a brac or beanie babies.

The main thing about sex is to relax, have fun with it (it isn't a religious rite after all) and talk about what you like. Everyone is different and finding out what turns them on is one of the fun things about the early part of a relationship. Don't worry about how you look while you're in bed and drink in the moment.

Also, don't try to ponder what he may be thinking at any particular moment while you're in bed because 99% of the time you will be wrong. Overthinking is a woman's worst enemy.

[RTIII]

"Overthinking is a woman's worst enemy."

Amen to _that!_

Mostly, "overthinking" in this context (and in my experience) can also be described as "indulging in one's fears." My message: relax in the moment, now is all we have, so you might as well be there in the moment instead of the future or past...
.

[Asmodeus]

I would just add one to the list:
7. Leave the baggage at home. This man you're with is not now, ever was, nor will he ever be, any of your ex lovers. Approach getting to know him as you'd like to be approached. Just because he may have a mannerism or demeanor that other men you've been with had, or even men in general have, does not mean you should equate him with same. Women like to be approached as if the man has never been with another woman. If you do not like to be compared to other women, consider being forced to pay for the petty cruelties of every woman before you. Yet this is how men are commonly treated in a dating/sexual situation. Want to really win a guy over? Don't treat him like he's stupid or Dixie-cup disposable, and don't force him to pay for another's mistakes. Works every time.

[Areyoume2]

I'm somewhat puzzled as to Where THIS blog came from ...re the Huffington Post? I'm busy watching O'Reilly on the View, Ellen on Gay Marriage. Anyway, enjoyed the piece. Maybe it's a good way to de-stress after reading all the political do's and don't s . You're right on. Made me re-think a few things (like my porcelain headed doll collection in every room, not to mention the Snoopys on display over the TV. My last first-last asked 'why all the crosses?' because I like them.