"Toot" Passes Away Early, But Saw Plenty

Just when we think we've got something nailed, just when we think it's all going our way, we get upended by some cosmic trip wire. "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans," John Lennon once said. He might have said the same of Death. Like so many other people (just take a look at the number of comments from HuffPost readers reacting to the news), I felt sick when I saw the news bulletin about the death of Barack Obama's grandmother, the woman who raised him, who sacrificed so much to see him go so far. Obama had already lost his father and mother, as well as his grandfather. 86 year old Madelyn Payne Dunham was among the very few people on the planet who still shared Obama's personal history, who knew the intimate details of his boyhood and the years when, as a young man, he would accomplish so very much.

And on the eve of what might be his greatest accomplishment so far, the woman he called "Toot" died quietly in her sleep, finally losing her battle with cancer. A number of thoughts went through my head when I heard the news: "No fair, just one more day, if only she had lived to see"....well, you know those thoughts. Anyone who has ever lost someone close to them knows those thoughts. Perhaps that is why so many people, including the McCains, were moved to send condolences within a virtual nanosecond of hearing the news.

I often wish my own parents could have lived to see, among other things, the birth of their great-grandsons. But let's face it -- these vicarious "bucket lists" are really endless. And pointless. Because we get to live long enough to see just so much and no more. That's the deal. Not long before he died, my Dad told me and my brother that he was proud of us, not because of what we had "accomplished," but because of the sort of people we had turned out to be. It was the greatest compliment he ever gave us. I have a feeling that what we value most at the end of our lives is not what we spent so much time chasing after in our younger years. I have a feeling that "Toot" knew very well what her grandson had "accomplished." And she didn't need an electoral vote count to confirm it.

Comments

[Cranbot]

Oh, I had so hoped she could hang on until the election to savor the moment, even if she died right after, at least she would have known.

But thank you Toot, and Stanley Dunham and Stanley Ann Dunham for raising such an amazing human being. We are in your debt.

He has no parents or grandparents left and you could say he is alone. Please know that he is not. He has his beautiful wife Michelle and their daughters Malia and Sasha and he has millions of people from all around the world who are here to support him.

Rest in peace Toot. I, among millions, am ready to embrace your grandson.

[AntiRethuglican]

Beautifully expressed~

[NewportJoey]

Very well written, I cried too. I used to speak with my 84 year old mother every Sunday and we would talk for at least an hour about politics. The only time she was "moody' was when she went through the change of life=then she was hell on ice. That passed and I had 20 years of decent communications. Until the last call when she said "I can't talk". I figured we were in for some more drama. I never knew that she was in the process of having one of three strokes that Sunday. She literally could not talk. And I miss her every day. My Heart is out to the Obama Family.

[MPeter]

Absolutely. Thanks Judy. I rarely cry but I did when I saw Senator Obama wipe a tear for Toot and still make the speech he did yesterday. Toot did a remarkable job. Senator Obama is an exceptional human being. I hope God will give him the strength he needs to move forward with the responsibilities that he is now set to assume. Thank you for your thoughtful article.

[kingmiller]

Toot knows, sweet lady, Toot knows exactly what she accomplished. And everyone should beam when they think of this lovely lovely woman, this daughter of America. And everyone should hold Barack in their hearts, if only for a moment, because he is in part the product of this great American lady, so much like our own grandmothers, a product of this great American Society. We all owe Toot our love and admiration.

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

Toot will have the best seat in the house for today's Big Show.

[ButterflyWeed]

It's been my experience that great love never leaves us. While the person's physical form passes, their spirit remains within us. Toot has gone to a Higher Place ,smiling over all of us joined to be Barack's family now.

[huffthemagicdragon]

"I have a feeling that "Toot" knew very well what her grandson had "accomplis­hed." And she didn't need an electoral vote count to confirm it." Very well said.

[blaqntelligence]

"Not long before he died, my Dad told me and my brother that he was proud of us, not because of what we had "accomplished," but because of the sort of people we had turned out to be. It was the greatest compliment he ever gave us."

I can barely type this through the tears.
My father passed this past Feb. His funeral was the day before his 85th birthday.
After 40 years of arguing, disagreeing (many times being disagreeable), we made peace.
This past Christmas my siblings and I were all together talking and enjoying the holiday.
During one of those talks, he told us he was proud of all of us. We are not rich or famous but he was proud that he was our father and we his children.
He passed Feb 2008.

[Pupadup4oBama]

Ok , now you made ME cry!!