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Julianna W. Miner
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Julianna W. Miner writes the successful humor blog Rants From MommyLand. She also writes for She adores her three children, in spite of the fact that they are little terror suspects. She's been married for over 15 years and for this, her husband deserves some sort of medal. She currently teaches Public Health at a college she couldn't have gotten into because she made bad choices in high school.

Julie grew up in Princeton, NJ in the “town” rather than “gown” category. She graduated from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst ('95) and the University of Michigan ('97), where she studied Public Health. She has worked in Social Marketing and Strategic Planning for a variety of Public Health agencies since then and loves her field with nerd-like fervor. She has been known to discuss things like drug resistant Gonorrhea at the dinner table.

Julie has been both a stay at home and working mom and found both to be exhausting. Like a bad folk song, her house is always dirty but the food is always good.

Entries by Julianna W. Miner

Anatomy of a Swim Meet

(34) Comments | Posted June 24, 2014 | 9:07 AM

I have three kids, and they all swim on a swim team every summer. I decided to capture my experience at a morning swim meet, for those of you not in the water cult.

6:00 a.m.: Wake up, drink coffee. Wake up grouchy children.

6:45 a.m.: Arrive at pool. Parking...

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For Auld Lang Syne

(7) Comments | Posted December 25, 2013 | 12:27 PM


This time of year is my favorite and is usually very happy for me. But there are always those moments. Those "Auld Lang Syne" moments that I never seem to be prepared for. Some sadness switch gets flipped in my brain and I...

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The Sweet Spot

(430) Comments | Posted July 25, 2013 | 5:12 PM

It hit me like a ton of bricks last week. I was at the community pool, looking around to see what my kids were up to. Then I really looked at them. The big one was playing with her friends, her long arms and legs splashing. The little one was...

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A Letter to My Kids Because I'm 40 and That's Old

(85) Comments | Posted February 6, 2013 | 2:10 PM

Hello my very beloved offspring,

Someday when you read this, I will be even more ancient than I am right now. Someday I hope very much to be a crotchety old lady who says wildly inappropriate things and embarrasses you by grabbing your father's keister in the retirement community where...

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I Can't Believe It's Not Real Advertising

(1) Comments | Posted October 2, 2011 | 10:31 PM

Somewhere deep in my twisted imagination lives an advertising executive. An industry legend cloistered away high in his corner office on Madison Avenue. He is an elderly marketing oracle in a fedora and a sharkskin suit. When modern day Mad Men get stuck for a concept, they consult him. They...

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Goodbye Spokesman, Hello SpokesMOM

(2) Comments | Posted September 27, 2011 | 3:43 PM

A new series of internet videos is aimed at (and to a lesser degree taking aim at) mothers. The videos show a series of casting calls to find the "Totino's Pizza Stuffers Mom." The auditions feature women who range from likeably flawed to criminally insane. Watch the videos and you...

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Internet Dating for Married Moms and Douchebags

(16) Comments | Posted May 7, 2011 | 8:08 PM

There are quite a few news stories trending right now about a dating website called Ashley Madison, that is exclusively for married people. It's tagline is: "Life is short. Have an affair." They get about 2,500 new members per day. With some exceptions. On the day after Mother's Day last...

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Mom News Wrap-up: Kate, Lindsay and Syria, Oh My

(1) Comments | Posted April 26, 2011 | 12:38 PM

A lot has happened in the world in the past seven days. But for that select portion of the world that has chosen to breed, only one thing happened: Spring Break. What was once a ten day festival of educational freedom in Panama City has now become a six trillion...

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More Stuff That Happens in the World When We're Watching Nickelodeon

(2) Comments | Posted April 7, 2011 | 12:10 PM

This week in our world, Curious George learned how to dust the curtain rods by scaling the drapes, that band of kids that seemingly would all have different jobs did something awesome for someone and then sang about it with a bunch of smaller children that looked eerily like them....

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Stuff That Happens in the World When We're Watching Nickelodeon

(4) Comments | Posted March 29, 2011 | 1:15 PM

Turn on any TV in our house and it's invariably on a station that has a talking animal of some sort. At the end of the day, we might find out from someone on Facebook or maybe our husbands that something important happened in the world. And that something has...

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Celebrity Head Transplants

(3) Comments | Posted March 23, 2011 | 4:52 PM

The blogosphere is vibrating with the news of what may or may not have happened to Fergie. The Pea, not the Princess. We think we know what happened, as we've become experts on just about everything lately. She went to Encina or something on holiday and got herself...

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What Children Can Learn From Egypt

(4) Comments | Posted February 17, 2011 | 8:23 AM

I'll admit it. I'm a news junkie. I am drawn out of bed by the thought of the Washington Post waiting for me on my driveway, and the New York Times delivered to my Kindle by my very own e-Ink paperboy. The TVs are turned to different news stations and,...

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Texts From the Snowstorm Beyond Thunderdome

(18) Comments | Posted February 2, 2011 | 11:51 AM

Last week in Washington, DC there was a snowstorm. It came complete with thundersnow (which turns out not to have been an 80's hair band even though it totally sounds like one). Only eight inches fell, but because of a combination of timing, ice, and stupidity -- the...

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Celebrities Who Will Be Disappointed in 2011

(2) Comments | Posted January 24, 2011 | 1:37 PM

We're just a couple of stupid bloggers who read too many celebrity gossip magazines this week and thought we'd share our perspective on who's going to have a good year -- and who isn't. We know we're being snitchy. We can't help it. UsWeekly and People magazine are...

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Junk Shot, Junk and A Big F**king Deal: The Words of 2010

(1) Comments | Posted December 29, 2010 | 3:08 PM

We as Americans should feel so much smarter as we bid farewell to 2010. From a educational standpoint, this year marked a noticeable expansion of our vocabulary. From top kill to containment dome, hacktivism to vuvuzela we'll welcome 2011 with a new fleet of words - some new, some so...

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Christmas Toys That Suck -- Live Interview

(0) Comments | Posted December 12, 2010 | 4:15 PM

This post is co-authored by Kristin Wilson Keppler

The Rants from MommyLand bloggers who wrote "6 Christmas Toys that Suck" for The Huffington Post were recently interviewed on a local Washington, DC talk show. These nice suburban moms discussed Tramp Stamp Barbie, putting hamsters into glitterizers...

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Christmas Toys That Suck

(306) Comments | Posted December 7, 2010 | 10:32 AM

It's that time of year again, when small children become completely obsessed with getting toys and adults are forced to buy them. Here is a list of 6 toys that many elementary school aged kids want but should not have under any circumstances -- trust us, we're bloggers....

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Too Big to Fail -- That's What She Said

(14) Comments | Posted October 14, 2010 | 4:38 PM

Two years ago, a bunch of men sat around a big fancy table in some huge government building and scrambled to save the nation's financial institutions. They -- the institutions, not the men -- were deemed "too big to fail." That's what she said. We imagine there were a lot...

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Suburban Moms Confront Domestic Terror Threats -- With Purell

(140) Comments | Posted October 5, 2010 | 4:45 PM

Mommies understand the importance of security. In fact, it's safe to say that we represent the real frontline in domestic security. We are the infantry that protects our nation's actual infants. The threats we deal with are real. They are imminent. They are snotty. This is because all potential hazards,...

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Mommy Bloggers Delighted to Learn We Will Determine Outcome of Next Election. Also, Confused.

(186) Comments | Posted September 27, 2010 | 5:46 PM

We've been hearing a lot lately about the importance of securing the swing votes of "Walmart Moms" and mommy bloggers. Apparently, we have replaced soccer moms as the important demographic to capture. As go mommies, so goes the nation.

And being that we are mommy bloggers, we were thrilled...

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